Friday, February 19, 2010

New Topic: Water

For my next topic of study I chose water, since it is often symbolic of covenants made with God. With my full time gig I'm not able to attend the temple as often as I'd like, so I figure better study up. Last night I read, Exodus 17, which then references Deut. 8: 15; Ps. 78: 20; Isa. 48: 21; 1 Ne. 17: 29; 2 Ne. 25: 20. I realized I'm not much better than the Israelites right now. Sure I feel like I'm wandering around in my own wilderness right now, but I have blessings all around, and I'm probably being being just as ignorant as them.
I was first called to repentance when I read Deuteronomy 8, (because as we all know the poor can be prideful just as much a rich-- I'm poor in time)
14 Then thine heart be lifted up, and thou forget the Lord thy God, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage;
15 Who led thee through that great and terrible wilderness, wherein were fiery serpents, and scorpions, and drought, where there was no water; who brought thee forth water out of the rock of flint;
16 Who fed thee in the wilderness with manna, which thy fathers knew not, that he might humble thee, and that he might prove thee, to do thee good at thy latter end;
17 And thou say in thine heart, My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth.
One way we have been blessed we live less than 20 minutes away from the University instead of an hour away like when we did when my husband took his GMAT. Plus the the whole reason we moved was because my husband got a new job, and a big fat raise so we are actually able to pay for his tuition. Now many would say, my husband got the job because he went to college, and he has experience, he was the best qualified candidate for the job. This may all be true, but I do not believe Brent got the job on his own. I believe the Lord opened doors for him to make it possible. The Lord opens doors and gives blessings all the time that we can chose to partake of, he never forces us. So anything we think we did something ourselves we didn't really, we just chose to walk in a door or a window he opened for us. Just like with the fiery serpents, we have to look to live. The Lord doesn't force anyone to partake of the blessing. Things will all work out after we do all that we can, is a blessing from the Lord. My husband has so much more faithful than me, and always says things will all work out, I say no they won't while on the verge of tears but he is right they always work out. Even if they don't work out the way I want. The Lord will always bless us if when we look, and often times when aren't so obedient also.
Also we moved AGAIN, but it was a great move because J has so many friends all around around us, not to mention I have other mothers to talk to during the day. J has never had the option of playing with friends almost every day, and even if I'm home alone all day, at least J isn't home alone all day with me. Plus if an ememergancy did arise, I would have help if I needed it. I'm not worried every night that someone is going to break in my house like our last place. I'm not worried to be home alone without my husband day or night. Where we live now is truly a blessing.
All the previously listed scriptures called me to repentance last night, but I found 1 Nephi 17 very relateable.
30 And notwithstanding they being led, the Lord their God, their Redeemer, going before them, leading them by day and giving light unto them by night, and doing all things for them which were expedient for man to receive, they hardened their hearts and blinded their minds, and reviled against Moses and against the true and living God.
31 And it came to pass that according to his word he did destroy them; and according to his word he did lead them; and according to his word he did do all things for them; and there was not any thing done save it were by his word.
For whatever reason I think the the last 6 months have been the hardest in my adult life. I'm grateful I have a strong foundation, I can understand why one day people go to church regularly, and the next month stop. I personally feel like I've invested too much just to give up. I can put on a face and grin and bear it until it gets better.
To move onto a new analogy, we have to walk into the dark sometimes before we see the light. Well I won't be surprised if the MBA is two years of standing in the dark, waiting for the light. Which is really ok, sometimes I'll see glimmers of light, and other times I'll just have to wait.
Plus honestly, as long as I stop whining I can remember my blessings, and I'll survive just fine. Blessings, like my husband's above average company raise and bonus he just received.
Plus as Eve reminds us, we want sorrow, so we can know "...the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient. (Moses 5:11)" Want might be the wrong word but you know what I mean....

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