Friday, July 31, 2009

Moving? Hard work?

Each move is different, some things never change.

The thing that never changes: pants are apparently optional in our house, at least in the under three crowd.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

By Request

Here you go Aunt Alisa.
My son hadn't been swimming in a full size pool since he was 6 months, so he was a little cautious the first few times. He is getting better. Doesn't need so much equipment. I think his favorite part of swimming is sitting in the chairs afterward.
We are definitely enjoying the pool.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I'm embracing the mommy blog, and don't want to forget, before I forget to record it somewhere else.
Baby Nan, loved cereal, but now usually won't eat it without other favors added. She eats cereal 2-3 times a day. She loves baby 'nanas the best. I haven't found anything she won't eat, she seems to like applesauce the least. She seems to prefer green vegetables over other color vegetables, bizarre I know. She is terrible at finger foods and feeding herself, but loves her mush. She has also started on pears, and other fruits. And loves the gerber graduate star cereal for when we are out of the house, or she has finished her mush. I think she has her dad's taste buds while the boy takes after me. J and me are much pickier.

She babbled da da first, and since it is my second I've wised up and know I didn't want her to learn ma ma. So I always encourage the da da da da. Brent caught wind of this and started saying ma ma too her. Then we got in ma ma da da wars. After she would start saying da da da, she would then babble ma ma, and now she has dropped the da da das, for the mas. I don't know if I've won or lost. Its all so confusing, Brent says she'll be confused on who is dad and who is mom. Last week she also started laughing at herself after she sneezed. She learned that from her dad. Sort of how her older brother knew how to whisper when he was barely a year old. Dad teaches all sorts of fun things.

P.S. We are all out of our last rental. The agency ok us, the owner ok us. Now to get our deposit back in the mail....

Coming to Terms

I've been thinking about my mommy blog for a few days now. First off, I've been feeling pathetic for months now, that I don't write as well as I did while I was in school. I'm not constantly writting essays for classes, so yes. Although I want to be home with my kids and not in school, I do miss my ariculation and writting skills. I don't feel capible of dicussing political ideas in public setting anymore. Not only do I not study as much, pregnancy number two, did a number on my memory. I think I need therapy or something, I can not tell you how many times my mind goes blank in the middle of a conversation.
Long story, longer, I am ok, with my mommy blog, I doubt very many of you want to read my opinions on TIME magazine articles, and I don't think that will make a very interesting family history. So, here it is, my mommy blog. Raw, and wordy.

On a different topic:
We all have different ways of dealing with stress. A fairly easy move is still stressful, just not as stressful as hard moves. My son is dealing with it, with crying a lot, and demanding sugary things. I'm letting it slide a bit, because well, we all have our vices. He isn't get sugar as much as he asks, but still more than normal. Like today, for breakfast he had a frostingless spice cake cupcake, thats about like a muffin right?
My vice right now, shopping. Nothing like purging your stuff and moving to make you think you need more things right?! Like beach towels for the pool, even though we have so many towels from our wedding we could gag a goat. Also I always want a new bathing suit, and I would like some board shorts in my current size. How about some movies for J and me, and some new CDs. Have I bought all these no, but I wish I had unlimited money to buy it all, yes. But I did buy a new shower curtain for the kids bathroom, and unfortunatly lots of other such stuff.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


We are moved. We have everything out of our four bedroom rental house, and are almost settled in our two bedroom apartment. Most is unpacked, lots of almost mint condition stuff was given away, a few boxes will remained packed. (Also most all of the food storage is in my bedroom. Either in the closet, under the bed, or in stacks against the wall.) My children's bedroom is much larger than the last, and I love all the space it gives us. We have lots of closets, and plush newer carpets. J has two friends that live within 10 steps of our front door, and I'm sure lots more around the corner. There are children in this ward, which is a nice relief. N babe got her head bashed in by a 7 month old girl during sunday school (N babe is also 7 mo) so all is good. We have already met lots of people who are in similar stages of life, with kids. I will post pictures soon.
But I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for my sabbatical to be up. When I started my blog I personally knew no mommy blogs, I rarely talked about my son. Two years later my blog revolves around my children, during this sabbatical without internet in my house, I had time to reflect on that. I'm not quite sure how I feel about having a mommy blog. So we'll see how this ends up the next few weeks.

P.S. Overall I'm enjoying twitter, wish I personally knew more people that used it. I like it much better that facebook. But can't wait for twitter 2.0-- one with less hacking, and no porn subscriptions trying to follow me. I feel like I'm using AOL IM back in the 90s. If we could get rid of those two things, I would love twitter.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


We got some family pictures taken the other day. This is my favorite, this sums up my life for the last year and half. A baby, and the nine months it took to grow it, then the six months since. And the whole journey of potty training, a fully capable child who has a mind of his own. The whole reason I potty trained him when I did was my pregnant nose couldn't stand the smell of old wet diapers. He had his set backs especially when his baby sister entered the picture. But luckily this picture has only smiles, none of the overwhelming terribleness of potty training.
And with that, I'm going on sabbatical until we get settled.

With that life is good, even if I'm turned into that mom I swore I never would who looks like she can't control her children in the store, and yells at them, to come here, we aren't getting that. Its true I can't control my child, he is his own person, he has is own agency, I can not require compulsion of his behavior even if I wanted to. He makes his own choices, no matter how hard I try to teach him properly. So I keep trying to teach him, and then let the rest be. I do my best, and try to keep a smile on my face. At least photographs remember the good times not the bad.


Friday, July 17, 2009

New Apartment

The floor plan of our new apartment, if anyone cared.
The thing off the living room is the patio. Those gaps don't exist in real life, there are no outside entrances to the patio for anyone that was worried.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Visiting Teaching

One of my visiting teachers sells candy and such. She gave me a candy apple, crazy enough I have never eaten a caramel apple, I've caramel and apples, but never a caramel apple. It is so good, my son and I have savoring it, and loving every bit. We are also quite impressed with its looks. He carried it around for about two hours before we opened it, he knew if it had a stick coming out of the top it must be good.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Free Diaper Bag

I ordered Cookie Magazine for my free diaper bag over a year ago. I don't like the magazine I think it stupid, but yet I've read every issue cover to cover, my subscription is about to end, and that will be the end of me reading the magazine.
With that preface, This issue had an article about Post-Pregnancy Beauty. As I started to read it I thought I don't feel ugly after having a baby. Then I remembered before a month ago, I did, I felt old and frumpy, which was depressing, because 24 is hardly old.
Before I start in my story, here is my favorite part of the article:

Around this time, I met Frenchwoman and mom of three Mathilde Thomas, cofounder of the natural skin-care line Caudalie. She's the picture of cool, calm, and effortless glamour, so I asked her how she holds it all together. "Of course mother­hood is extremely tiring, and yes, yes, yes, it makes you age," she told me. "But it's life; it's great. It's very important to be more beautiful after having kids than before."

I asked her to elaborate. "My marriage is extremely important," she replied. "I won't put my children before it. You shouldn't be that person who says, 'I've given everything to my children,' because you may not get anything in return. So you need to be a little selfish."

My only complaint is I don't think having me time, or focusing on your marriage is selfish. I think it is the best possible thing mothers can do. I need brakes for the sanity of me and my children. The article also said this, from a different person,
"We're so child-centered now. We're not good mothers unless we're giving it all up for the kid." Furthermore, mothers today "always feel like they're falling short," says Nancy Etcoff, a Harvard University psychologist who studies the connections between beauty, emotion, and the brain. "They have really, really high expectations for themselves."
Why is that, why do we all make ourselves miserable? I'm working at not feeling like I need to be perfect. Its liberating.
Back to my story, a few months ago, every time I looked in the mirror I was horrified. (Probably didn't help that three weeks after my baby was born, I felt pretty darn good about my looks, for having a baby three weeks ago, when it an unnamed male extended relative of my husband's told me I looked like I was sleepwalking from the dead.)
Anyway, so for months I thought I would never survive second child, worn-out-ness. I wondered if it was this bad the first time. I was filled with new vim and vigor to have all my babies early, because if my appearance got progressively worse each time, I was a goner. Every time I came home from the grocery store, and I saw I glimpse in the mirror I thought.. seriously? what must people think of me in the store, that crazy tired mom, who yells at her children to not grab the cookies, everyone without kids must be looking at me and thinking oh my gosh, never will I become that, thank goodness I don't have kids. I suppressed these thoughts, taking my husbands advice of not looking in mirrors. I never really thought about it, I had to worry about making sure my children and I were fed regularly. (Seriously this makes me sound like I was obsessing about my appearance but I wasn't, I rarely thought about it.)
Then we went to a "neighborhood party" of my husband's friends when he was in high school. Hoping I wouldn't look too mismatched or frumpy. A few days later a blog post surfaced (which won't work for anyone because Justin and Ashley's blog is private). With this picture.Oh thank goodness for that picture. Turns out I haven't looked as bad as I thought I have all these months. Here is the photo edited for just my family. Some days, maybe worse, but other days, better. When Justin took this picture, I would have never known how much this picture would mean to me. Thank goodness for unexpected pictures. I am not skilled at girly looks. I struggle finding shirts that fit someone as tall as me. I only know how to put eye make up on, and I can't wear eye shadow. So my routine is, mascara, and a pony tail. Sure pony tails are what every article says makes you look frumpy mommy, but its what I do, my husband likes pony tails, and I like sleep more than I like to blow dry my hair. Plus jewelry, clearly I love jewelry. Anytime I start to feel frumpy I buy a new tube of mascara because I realize the old one is almost empty. I also make sure to remove my mascara at night, so my dark circles from motherhood aren't darkened with mascara. Anytime I put on an article of clothing that makes me feel frumpy (even if it was once a favorite shirt), I immediately take it off, and throw it in the DI pile, that is stored on my fridge. I never go back through a DI pile, once it is in the bag its gone forever. Its amazing what the purge has done for my emotional health.
Turns out I will survive motherhood of two, and maybe even more.
Although three sounds terrible, everyone says it was way harder than they expected. Well I'm going to be a goner, I think two is way harder than anyone let on. When my friends of three complain about something they are stuggling with, I think OH NO I struggle with that and I only have two! Sometimes logic does enter into my brain, and I realize oh its the same struggles just with extra human.


My husband has a job interview to day, its internal. According to him, he is totally unqualified for the job, but some of the management he works with told him to apply so he did. Today is his interview. I know he'll do great, he is a great interviewer. His own self declared downfall is he is low on technical skills.
It was nice to pray last night, and thinking, I've been praying that everything will work out well with this interview. But it is nice not to be stress, and to know what happens will be the best for our family. There are pro and cons to getting the job, or staying put. Whatever happens will be perfect. I've been so stressed about other possible changes lately, its nice to feel that calm.
Yes, my husband has way more job interviews than anyone that is not looking for a new job should have. I know, I'm sorry.
My son thought he was going to church work today, since he had church shirt, tie and pants on.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Baby Pool

Its too bad we are moving because I think we have a great baby pool. Its large, and doesn't have to be inflated.
My son and my sister's daughter playing.

My children and I have some wicked farmer tans from playing at the playground.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Coming to Terms

I'm coming to terms with my next phase of life.
First off today, after we spoke in church, this sweet lady in our ward came up to me afterward, telling me how much she is going to miss me, and how she wished she had a chance to get to know me better. I said well we weren't here long, she said thats no excuse you are so amazing, and have the best insight, I've learned so much from you. I can't believe you are leaving. She was crying, which made me teary. I thought that was so sweet of her to say. I've always felt like we were friends, so... (If you ever feel lonely in church, start making coments in class, and soon the whole ward leadership will know you.)
Second, my family walked around campus tonight, with the JDanna family. As my husband pushed the stroller, I remembered a previous time of pushing a stroller around campus. Since my son was born before we both graduated he was pushed around campus usually daily as we juggled our schedules. Although I realize my children and I will rarely if ever be on campus, I realized being poor and in school brings lots of happy memories. Lots of people have two kids and wife while they are in school, especially MBA students. Pretty much I realized life will be crazy but it will be fun. And maybe during that time,I can feel that I am as cool as Sister Nelson,
I pay tribute to Sister Nelson, who never murmured because she had to make do with very little. I recall an experience one night in downtown Boston. We were walking along Boylston Street. There we passed a furniture store. Sister Nelson pressed her nose against the windowpane and asked, "Do you think we will ever be able to afford a lamp?"--Russell M. Nelson, “Faith and Families,” Ensign, Mar 2007, 36–41

Three, I'm finally able to move on with the not buying a house. I realized a few days ago I wasn't really attached to any of the houses so why wasn't I able to move on? Then I realized the American Dream, home ownership, driving a mini van, 2.6 kids, a family pet, walking your kindergartener to school, or driving him in a subaru to charter school, shopping at the new wal mart for cheap diapers. Sure I'm not ready for a mini van, sure I would hate to only have .6 of a child, but I realized emotionally I had become attached to the idea of a large backyard fenced in by a tall white vinyl fence, where we would store some chickens or a dog, grow a garden, have fat bbq parties, and drive to the newish walmart to buy cheap diapers, but first browse the sale racks at the Kohls across the street. Yeah, sounds like a stupid dream I know, but I got attached it to. Why, am I attached to the idea of shopping at a walmart for cheap diapers is beyond me. Especially since my local grocery store sells them for the same price. But finally now that I've realized that I can move on.
Our upstairs is covered in boxes, our downstairs is getting emptier and emptier, we are still days and days away from being all packed up. None of my children are suffering emotional trama yet.
Lastly, both the Bishop, myself and my husband mentioned we are moving, after church, a brand new stake president came up to me, and said something to the effect, that I gave a really good talk. What does that mean? Did he really mean it, or was he trying to be a good stake president? I always wonder do people mean good talk or is it just the thing to say. The stake president seemed sincere, but maybe its just the thing to say.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

brotherly love, k maybe sisterly

Is anyone else dreading the talk they have to give tomorrow in church? Oh yes my husband is too. Either our Bishopric is inspired or they got our topics mixed up. Shouldn't my husband be the one talking on service, and I know I could give a better talk on temples than on service. Maybe thats the point, maybe talks aren't about giving amazing ones, but about learning. Plus, what am I suppose to do with my kids. My daughter usually spends all of sacrament meeting crying in the hall. Who is suppose to watch my son? He can't stay in the hall, he would run away!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Bathing Suit!

I doubt this suit has any function at all for my daughter but it sure is cute.
The monsoon in the desert finally stopped and it has finally got hot. Which means we have less than a month to get $17 use out of our baby swimming pool. At that price I figure we have to use it everyday.

My daughter is a water baby, she loves it. We can use it while she is fussy and ready for a nap, and she is instantly happy for an hour or so, until I get so bored out of my mind, we have to come in.
Well be all ready for when we move to a complex with a pool.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Great Story

Even though the population is small in this city, I do live in a somewhat of an urban area, so I often see a lot of panhandlers. Usually a week does not go by without someone asking me for money. Its rather bizarre though, usually the person wandering around the grocery store parking lot asking for money are dressed in business casual, and carrying a laptop. I do not give money to people who have nicer clothes than me.
The other day, my family of four was taking a stroll around the neighborhood, we got near one of the local commercial properties, when this man came up to us with a shpeal to tell. I get asked for money all the time so my first reaction was no. But my husband listen to his story, he and his wife were traveling when their car broken down, and they need money to fix.... I can't remember what. He said he still needed $20, did we have a dollar or so we could spare. Well my husband being the charitable person he was, said he would walk to Auto Zone with this man and pay for the entire part for him. (My husband believed this man, and was dead serious, that he would pay for it.) My husband's response fumbled the man, he paused and said, you would walk to Auto Zone with me?! Not all the way there? (Mind you we were already on a walk, and Auto Zone was probably closer to where we were standing than our house was) Brent replied yes, I'll walk there with you, and buy the part for you. The man fumbled a bit more and said oh kay, let me go get my brother, he is on the next street over, and I'll meet you there. The man ran off. I looked at Brent and said I'll take the kids and walk home and put them to bed. I knew my husband would buy someone he didn't know something if they needed it so, I figured he would be on his way to Auto Zone. Brent said, wait, wait for the guy to come back, I don't want to wait by myself. So we stood on the street corner chatting waiting for the guy to come back. Brent decided we should go looking for him, because really how long can you wait for someone who wants your help. So we started to walk up the direction the man ran off. As we were walking, I said, squinting isn't that the same guy, asking that car at Smith's for something? Brent couldn't see what I was talking it about, so we dropped it. We continued walking, not finding the man, and so we headed it home. Brent said, if he wanted just the money he should have gone to Auto Zone with me, let me buy the part and then return it after I left.
The end of the story?
Apparently not, the other day we were all leaving the Grocery Store, when I spotted this same guy talking to someone a few cars down, then receiving all the coins out of the other man's car. I pointed it out to Brent. The panhandler than came up to Brent and told him the same story as before, except instead of needing a $20 part, he needed a $60 part. Brent called him on it, and said you already told me the story last time you asked me for money. I was going to go to the Auto part store with you and buy the part for you, when you ran off. The man denied it all, then got very angry at Brent. Saying, just because some other guy lied to you, you won't help me. Brent very calmly replied yes. Well luckily I was in the car this whole time, because it was hard not to laugh hysterically at the whole thing. The man left very angry at Brent, and Brent in true Brent form very calmly got in the car.
Brent is one of the most charitable people I know, he would give someone anything they need. He will give anyone any object they need, but he is much more hands on in his monetary charity than most people. He does not donate money unless he checks to make sure majority of the money goes to the actual cause. He would much rather give his time and talents, than money to an unknown bureaucracy. That being said, he will often help without being asked, and is one of the first to volunteer for any service.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


For a little more than 24 hours there was a hope that we would stay put. The rental agency called Brent and said the owner of the house requested that we stay and what would they have to do to keep us. Brent said dropped the rent $400, well of course the owner didn't agree but there was hope. During that time, I really really wanted to stay, even with the ant infestation, and a downstairs reaking of mildew and mold. But once I knew for sure that we weren't staying, all of sudden I was ready to move. I can't really explain it, other than this house would be too big for me while Brent is busy working and at school. From what I hear from people who have done the program, we will still share the same room at night, that will be the only time I see him. I know it could be worse, I'm not complaining I'm just stating. I'm now ready to move on. (Sort of) I have come to realize my husband is a nomad, he has been itching to move since January, and now our lease is finally up. We may never live somewhere for long. I wouldn't be surprised if we bought a house, and then moved a year later, filling the house with renters. My husband gets antsy, as my grandma told him, its lucky he married me. From what she hears most girls demand the husband finds a job by her parents, and they stay there. While me on the other hand would pretty much follow my husband anywhere, Chile, Texas, Costa Rica, California, DC, Altanta, Utah. Ok for now I haven't really followed him that many places, but we have moved way more than anyone should have moved. Lets hope we at least start staying places two to three years once my kids start school. One day he/we could stay put, I just can't quite see that day yet.
My husband has been packing for a week, I just barely started last night. I wasn't ready until last night. I'm still not 100% positive about this move, but I know we can no longer stay. Yesterday I thought how I wanted my husband to play in water outside with our son, I ended up outside and they were playing in the sprinker, I thought why are we moving? Then everything became clear, although I couldn't really explain it. Its time.

P.S. I'm not quite sure what my grandma is talking about though, because she is the one who married someone in the air force, and left the town she was born and raised to move all over the country. Sure I could tell you where I was born, and I could tell you were I was raised but they are not the same place.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Free sitting

My daughter started sitting without support of her hands on Friday. Monday night we noticed she had also started crawling up on her hands and knees, instead of army style. (Although she hasn't completely given it up.) Milestones hit at 6 months of age.

This picture is so not posed by me. My son came up and held her hand and said take a picture of us. They are the best of friends these days. My son keeps her happy in the morning, until I wake up to squeals of happiness, very much preferable to squeals of hunger. He use to tell me he not hear her cry when she woke up from a nap, hoping I wouldn't get her out of her crib. Now he says, I hear babyface can I go see her? I'm pretty sure she prefers him going in first, and playing until I get there.

Monday, July 6, 2009


The rides
The baby boats, the whole reason my son remembered Lagoon from last year.
How N babe enjoys the fair.
I love this picture.


I will admit, these looks a tad bit dangerous. I assure you the photos are worse that real life. They are just sparklers.
Like this one, I assure half of his body was not on fire, in fact none of his body was.

Busy Days and Long Nights

We had a busy holiday weekend. My husband had friday off, so we went to Stake Lagoon Day. Which meant we got in free, got four free rides, and had to pay after that. We walked around a lot, so we only paid for one ride for J, and did our free rides. He enjoyed himself. We also got ice cream half off. Nan surprisingly enjoyed Lagoon too, riding around in the stroller watching all the people.
Then we sold our couches, I found it sort of sad, but life goes on.
Then we went to my brother's going away party for Honduras. It was fun, and the kids had fun playing with other kids, and playing with the dog. In true form to ourselves, we were the last to leave. It has been fun seeing my brother and his family this summer. The last time I saw my brother for more than a few days was when he was in college and I was in high school, the last time I saw him for more than a week was when he was in high school. So its been a good summer. Luckily my boy gets another month of playing with his boy.
Saturday we went to the church pancake breakfast, and once again were some of the last to leave. My boy loved playing with one of his nursery friends, for the few hours we were there. Then we came home and our kids napped forever, after a long day at lagoon, and staying up until 11 pm. Once they woke up, we walked to the park, and enjoyed the fourth of july festivities. We brought sack dinners and enjoyed the park. Luckily Brent's sister and family called and wanted to join us for fireworks. It was nice to have someone to walk home with. Both of my kids enjoyed the fireworks. I was suprised my daughter watched them. Sure she doesn't have an attention span so she often got sidetracked but everytime she saw them she would turn around and watch them again. Even though it was late when we got home I figured might as well let my boy do some sparklers. So my kids didn't get to bed until after 11:30, 9 o'clock church came very early for everyone. My daughter let us know she did not enjoy staying up until 11 two nights in a row, especially when she likes to go to bed at 7. Oh well life goes on. We did some more sparklers sunday night after the babe went to bed. Hopefully tonight, we do FHE where we explain a little bit of the history of the fourth of July to my son. As it is, he hasn't stopped talking about fireworks.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Zen Realization

Two nights ago, I was switching the laundry and had a joy moment. Most of the time I despise my mundane tasks, so its important to have joy moments. Partly the moment came from having a washer and dryer in my residence. Then I thought about how in a month from now I'll being using my own washer and dryer instead of the stupid ones that came in this house. Which made me realize the things I like most in life are my husband, my son and my daughter. The things that drive me crazy are almost all in relation to the current house I live in. Why am I caring that I have downsize? Lets just say I'm glad I rented a house that was almost a 100 years old, that way I know I never want to buy one.
Not to mention I don't think I can really complain that my husband wants graduate with a Masters in Business Administration debt free. That is the plan with downsizing, to save $600 a month on living expenses. Not to mention when we don't have space to put things we don't buy as much. I'm looking forward to being organized. In my last apartment I was incredibly organize, I had to be, or it would have been walking on stuff. Here there is space and more space, I can never remember where anything is, downstairs, upstairs, that closet, this closet. That won't be my problem in a month from now.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Happy Un-Birthday

I asked my son whether his party was a half birthday or un birthday. He said "un" I started singing the song from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. He said stop.
I made thes wonderful creations for the party. Yes, my decorating leaves something to be desired. All three of us sang Happy Birthday. I ended it with Happy birthday to no one, because its no ones birthday. David laughed.
I was informed fire is hot and it will hurt us. Yes, very true, I stink at lighters and burned my finger. They didn't know it was tricky I was holding the baby too.
I think they had a great un birthday party.

I would have gotten some more great pictures except my camera died.