Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
A circle hobo bag.
And a pair of brown boots for under $40.
I feel like everyone has brown boots but me, which is not true, its just two girls that also teach in primary have boots and I do not. I guess that means I'm coveting. I'm a boot lover. As a child, when everyone else would get new atheltic shoes for school, I got boots. I didn't want to play sports and I didn't want that footwear. I have stupid feet every since a hiking issue when I was 17, so I can't wear much other than Birkenstocks and expensive running shoes. But I refuse to be a mom that always wears running shoes, my husband doesn't understand. But all I want is boots. I have snow boots, rain boots, black tall boots, now I need brown boots. I almost bought some patchwork brown boots a few years ago, but they were two sizes too big, which means they now would only be one size too big. But none the less. I'm a sinner, if you are wearing brown boots this fall to church, I'm jealous.
Now for the hobo, leather, or at least fake leather has been in for the past few years. I have not jumped on the wagon. I will now be blunt, rude, and mean, but I do not like most of the "fashionable" leather "in style" purses right now. I refuse to wear something that looks like what my mother wore when I was a small child. I have a vivid memory, no, no to poofy wrinkly leather/faux leather bags. My husband and I had a conversation about these "grandma bags" the other day in the store. Anyway, I found the type of leather bag I want. These cut out circle bags. An ebay seller, as a lot of options. I like the green, pewter/silver/black, and oddly the pink, but I wouldn't actually want the pink. It looks like the seller has about a 100 to sell, so I can take my sweet time finding $30. And then decided I don't have the $30, and fall back on my suede chevron stripe purse (the purse on the right), and forget the faux leather. (I was 5 months pregnant with my son in this picture, on my birthday.)
I like polka dots, stripes, and chevron stripes.
The few times my kids and I end up on campus, with my husband, I end up seeing something that says, Political Science, and then I become so jealous that my husband GETS to go to school again. When he first started we went with him to bookstore, and his marketing books were on one side of the aisle and the Polsci books were on the other, and I almost took a picture with my phone, but I didn't want the bookstore employees to see me and yell at me. They run a tight ship at those university bookstore. A few weeks ago the kids and I went up to campus to see my husband, he had been studying up there all day, and a final that night, it was the kids only chance to see him all day. After he went to go take his final, my son wasn't ready to go home yet, so we were wondering around campus. My son happened to have an accident right in front of the building, that houses the political science department. The crazy thing is, he NEVER has accidents anymore, seriously never, and he had just gone a few minutes earlier. It was like divine intervention to get me into that building to remind me how much I love my chosen field. In some ways, I never want my babies to grow up, I want to always have lazy mornings in bed, and slobbery kisses, and hugs. See those chubby cheeks, and those fat short fingers. And other times I can't wait until all my kids are in school, and I can do something more. Like get a masters, or do something political scientific regularly. At this point, I don't have time for anything other than reading newspapers, with my husband gone so much. If he wasn't in school, I could do something in addition to being a stay at home mom, but right now, I have to be at home all the time with my kids, because they don't understand why that see daddy so rarely, so it wouldn't be fair to them.
Monday, October 26, 2009
I'm keep thinking she is no where near weaning herself. Her brother weaned himself at 10 months, I'm counting down till December, I'm sick of this. Although I don't really want her to grow up. And she is getting closer, she nurses half as often as she did a month ago.
Oh and she likes to join in the wrestling with her dad and brother. The other day she jumped on her brother while he was on the ground, just like they jump on their dad. Brother was terrible upset, but I couldn't help but laugh. They are totally siblings, they both pick on each other, and when one doesn't get their way, they look at me screaming. I just have to laugh, and think oh boring life would be as an only child.
Oh and I finally realized she and spout sippy cups were not working for her, I bought her a straw cup, and she cosumes twice as much liquid from a cup than she ever did before. Which means that is less she has to nurse. She couldn't get the tilt the cup idea. She loves her cup now.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I love this picture. I don't even think I was smiling for the camera, because I wasn't really sure what my husband was taking a picture of.
Check out all the Halloween stuff we have been making at my other blog.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Anyway I do love living here right now, lots of kids for my son to play with, other mothers to complain to, people to call on when you need help. So I have been doing my neighborly duty and watching kids in minor emergencies.
One day I was watching children who are slightly high maintenance, they wanted me to talk to me, they wanted to play with me, they wanted to include me. (They clearly didn't know me in high school, I am anti social.) After my baby wouldn't nap because she didn't want to miss anything, I went to go complain to my husband. That I wasn't made for this type of thing, I wasn't made to take care of children. (He was working at home.) He laughed at me, and said what are you a working woman? I thought about it, and a few hours later, I decided I'm clearly not a working woman either, I am suppose to be a gentleman's daughter, as in the 18th Century. I not good at taking care of children, but at the same time I don't want to go fight in the man's world in high heels. I'm not too feminist. My calling in life should have been to be in the genteel class, to read novels, and embroidery cushions.
Although I'm not too much of a fan of blood letting, and I don't like to be subservient to anyone especially males, and I'm pretty fond of modern medicine, so maybe I'll stay in this time period. Since I do find plenty of time to read and embroider cushions while taking care of children.
Plus I like to wear pants.
Monday, October 19, 2009
The Doctrine and Covenants teaches
us: “Whatsoever you seal on earth shall be
sealed in heaven; and whatsoever you bind
on earth, in my name and by my word, saith
the Lord, it shall be eternally bound in the
heavens” (D&C 132:46).
When a couple is kneeling at the altar, as a
sealer I am aware of my role as a representative
of the Lord. I know that what is sealed
on earth is literally sealed in heaven—never
to be broken if those being sealed remain
faithful and endure to the end.
I have observed over the years many
couples who have been able to maintain
strong and vital marriages as they remain true
to the covenants they take upon themselves
in the temple. These successful couples have
several things in common.
First, these couples know individually
who they are—sons and daughters of God.
They set eternal goals to once again live
with our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus
Christ. They strive to leave the ways of the
natural man behind (see Mosiah 3:19).
Second, they know the doctrine and the
importance of the saving temple ordinances
and temple covenants and their necessity in
achieving eternal goals.
Third, they choose to obtain the eternal
blessings of the kingdom of God rather than
the temporary possessions of the world.
Fourth, these couples realize that when
they are sealed for time and all eternity, they
have chosen an eternal companion—their
days for courting others are over! There is no
need to look any further!
Fifth, these couples think of one another
before themselves. Selfishness suffocates
spiritual senses. Communicating with the Lord
in prayer, they grow together and not apart.
They converse with each other, thereby never
letting little things become big things. They
talk early about the “little hurts” with little fear
of offending. In this way, when the pressure
in the kettle builds and the whistle goes off,
there is no explosion of bitter feelings. It is
so much better to let off a little steam before
the top blows off the pressure cooker. They
are willing to apologize and ask forgiveness if
they have hurt the one they love. They express
their love for each other and become closer.
They lift and strengthen one another.
(Really I only added this to my blog, so it would be included in my printed up blog book one day.)
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Anyway, back to Latin America, I feel bad for my poor husband, he has such dreams and I think I swash them all down. I don't mean to be, I know at some point it will come to pass. But see two nights ago I realized something I always knew but I finally connected it to my husband's dreams.
I love the idea of traveling, I would love to go to Egypt, Israel, back to Paris (there is so much more to see than 4 days can do justice), there are many other places, but I absolutely hate the idea of international travel. I abhor the idea. You see unless I have a terrible memory, I have only traveled internationally twice.
The first time I went to Paris and Holland with my sister, apparently I had some subconscious fear because for the month leading up to said trip, I broke out in hives on my legs routinely. Then during the flight to Paris de Gaulle I broke out hives again. I couldn't find my benadryl, my CD player player ran out of batteries (you always think you check those things, except it happens to me about every fifth flight), and we were in a ghetto plane without TV on the back of the seat. It was a long miserable flight in coach.
And that right there is the reason I never want to travel internationally again. Not to mention I don't really like flying, its just the only option, since driving takes S-O-O- L-O-N-G.
That right there is the reason I accidentally squash all my husband's aspirations about Latin America.
The flight back was fine and dandy. I never randomly broke out in hives again, after that first flight. The trip was very fun.
If I could always fly business class or better, I wouldn't mind international travel. My second passport stamp came from a trip to Argentina with my husband. I enjoyed Buenos Aries, it had a very European feel, except for the food tasted terrible. Never go if you are pregnant.
Monday, October 12, 2009
This is where I found the globe jpg.
I would just go for a straight rectangle piece of wood. It seems so comfy to have a pad headboard. Not to mention it just sounds nice to have a headboard. You plan on helping me, and I'll start saving money, we could do it in a few hours doubled, with children around everything takes twice as long. Ok, seriously sign up below to help me.
Back to the post at hand. My son hit a new milestone while we were in texas, he learned about namebrands, and the crap your parents buy you to save money. His little cousin got namebrand crocs after a rousing review from a different aunt. His little cousin, noticed the alligator on her shoes, and had fun pointing it out all day. I noticed my son look down at his off brand crocs and wonder where his alligator was. It was a sad moment as a mother-- let me assure you. Seriously, it was painful, so much of motherhood is. It pours all types of salt into old wounds you have been suppressing for decades. He didn't ask me, or let anyone on to the fact that is crocs, were not real crocs. He pretended to ignore the whole thing. The real painful point, was when he noticed that two of his other cousins also had "alligators" on their shoes.
Let me assure, I am not looking forward to my children going through middle school.
If you are a long time follower, you might recall me expressing the sentiment that I wish I took the handmade pledge. I do make most of the christmas presents I give, but overall that's out of pride and frugality, not any political green statement. I sort of fell out of love when I realized the address was buy handmade.org, because truth be known frugality has an ugly twin sister called cheap, and buying handmade is anything but cheap. (On an aside I don't think of buying books as a break in the pledge I always thought of it as an escape clause.)
After I realized it was buy handmade, I was able to stop feeling guilty about not making the pledge.
Today after driving home for the store, as I was mentally planning christmas present, I thought I make my kids stuff all year round. The reason christmas and birthdays are fun, is they finally get some cheap, plastic, loud, brightly colored toy. I never buy toys except for birthdays and christmas, so to take the handmade pledge would be quite the let down for my poor children.
Don't worry, they aren't poor, they have plenty of grandma's to supplement their plastic toy collection.
If I have you for christmas this year, you can either look forward to what I'm going to make you, or be disappointed you don't get something store bought from me.
My poor husband I make presents for everyone but him. Sort of, I make him presents, it just takes me years to finish. I guess I assume he'll forgive me not finishing in time, and so by the time I do finish, its time for another holiday.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
A missionary got up and said. Our Father in Heaven is much like parents here. We see our children sometimes need help, but we don't intervene unless they ask us for help. We have to ask him for his help.
That really clicked for me, since I have small children who are learning lots of new things each day to help them understand how to be a mortal person. Its hard work, and I let them figure things out themselves.
Although I will say, sometimes, my child doesn't ask for help, but has an emotional outburst of frustration. In which case I ask calmly do you need help? If we have developed a relationship with our Father in Heaven, I do think sometimes after we have overwhelming outbursts, we do hear a quiet do you need help? If we are listening.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Funny thing is, he wasn't satisfied, he refused to show his dad the picture, because he didn't like the way it turned out. Although he was happy to have me show his dad the picture.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Never ever never, buy them. They don't color right, and the tip of the marker dissolves a little more with each pressing touch on the paper.
And overall these markers represent all that is wrong with my life right now.
My lack of patience.
That is all my lack of patience, nothing is wrong with my husband, my children, or anything, except my lack of patience.
There is something that is like a gnawing an ant under my skin, from the amount of time I spend being a single mother. (I know I have no right to complain, we have good health, good employment, we do see my husband daily, at least I do (sometimes he leaves before they wake up and comes home after they are in bed, some don't see their husband for a year or so, not to mention we have our own place to live at, and friends for our children to play with almost daily.)
Each day, I lose more and more patience, until I'm ready to throw away half of our belongings. I don't care if we need them, I don't care if someone is using it, if it drives me nuts in the slightest its in the dumpster.
No this don't actually happen, but I want to to, I don't know why I have an unwavering desire to throw everything away. The markers gone, the IKEA kids table gone, all the old baby clothes gone, the stupid handme down Stride Rite shoes gone. Seriously what is the deal with those shoes, they are so stiff it is so hard for me to help my son get them actually on his feet. Is this normal if so why the heck does anyone spend $30+ on name brand children shoes, bring back payless. I would totally get rid of the shoes in a heart beat and buy new ones if it was for that stupid tuition payment.
Why do I have such a desire to throw away everything?
I don't know?
Maybe I think it will help me gain control over my uncontrollable life. Maybe I secretly have a desire to not spend eight grand on school, and instead go blow it at the mall. I don't know, I don't know anything, except some days, my children drive me up the wall and there is nothing they are doing wrong.
Other than maybe using stupid markers that I bought...
Don't worry, each day my patience gets less and less, until I snap (out of it), and become a normal human being and a good mother. It last for a few days, I love life, my life is perfect, then we slowly go down the good patience hill, being more and more cranky as I tumble faster and faster down backward.
Sometimes I still don't think I've adjusted to motherhood of two. Two should be easy, everyone says three or four is hard. I have no idea, all I know, its now for over a year, I have feeling like I'm only three steps away from the crazy farm. Life was so neat, and organized when I was in school with a husband and baby. Crazy busy, but highly organized and planned out to the T. Then I graduated, life wasn't as scheduled, but more fun, with less work. Then I got pregnant with two, it was fine for awhile, then the contractions started, and the move happened. Over a year later, I'm still just as nutty as ever. Will I ever adjust to two?
I love number two dearly, don't believe me, scroll down and look at all the pictures of her.
But seriously, two is utter chaos. While one was completely control and organization.
Some days I'm able to embrace the chaos, and other days I want to rip the stupid erasable markers out of my kid's hand and throw them out the window.