Monday, February 28, 2011

Business Trip

My husband went on a business trip last week and invited me out.  He went out on Monday, I joined him on Wednesday.  (I didn't want to leave the kids for a full week.)  Luckily I have super great in laws, and Brent's parents watched my kids and brought them back home Saturday night.  Anyway, that is not the story, there are lots of stories from my first trip without children in five years, but this is the one I am sharing today on my blog.
Brent brought me onto his work office so I could meet the people he has been working with for the past two years. (He has been working for his company for almost three years but two years ago, they switched who is management is.) So I met all his old managers, he had three in two years, the switch took awhile to work out the kinks. But now he has been promoted so he is on the same level of his old managers since he is now a manager.  I met some other people, and his director.  There use to be two managers between him and his director, but now its just him in his new position then the director. I have heard about all these people for two years now.  Anyway, so we met everyone including the director.
Later in the day after we left apparently they were having a meeting, the director was all stressed about the internet down on Monday, and in the middle of his rant, he stopped and said, "Weren't Brent and his wife so cute this morning?"  Then he continued on his rant.  This was very uncharacteristic for him, so apparently it was quite funny and weird.  I should also mention Brent is probably 20 years younger than any of the other managers.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Two Thoughts

Two thoughts:
Number one, I have a new theory, people use the adjective independent when they really mean stubborn. I hear people all the time say, so and so is so independent, which causes me to think really?  They are independent?! So and So always seems so needy to me.  Of course I don't say this, but really most people I hear described as independent don't fit it in my opinion. I recently realized, a lot of people say independent about a person who is really quite dependent for certain things, they just are extremely stubborn about everything else. But I guess both me and the people I think are wrong are right.  One definition for independent is not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinionconduct, which is what I see as stubborn, someone suggests something and they absolutely refuse no matter what the suggestion, just on the sense they don't like advice. Where I think of these definitions when I think of the word independent, not dependent; not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.; not relying on another or others for aid or support; rejecting others' aid or support; refusing to be under obligation to others; possessing a competency:  to be financially independent.

Number two, I have absolutely no problem with extracurricular activities, but I don't find a great need for them in my just barely 5 year old's life.  We've done a gym class or two, swim lessons, I wouldn't say no to a toddler/preschool group music class, we love story time.  But I have no need a competitive sports in my young child's life. Maybe in a few years, but I don't have much of a team player on my hands.  Nor do I have a child that likes to be directed.  I don't think they are beneficial for young children, but if you want to with your children more power to you, but don't expect me to sign my kid up, I don't want to deal with the tears that would ensue after the each game.  But there is also a selfish reason behind all my "good" parenting.  I don't want to do with all that work.  I would rather walk to the park and let my kid run around in circles than watch preschoolers play ball.  Not to mention I adore spending time with my husband, and choosing what activity we want to do.  During the evening or weekend, ours lives revolve around us not our children. We aren't bad parents, we feed them, bathe them, care for the in the evening, but there is nothing like a healthy dose, of I'm listening to mom/dad, you need to wait to talk until we are done.   We don't see much of my husband so why would I want to take precious time away from him doing what we want to do, for preschool sports. I have plenty of time to chauffeur my children around once they know how to ask. Why bring it on early?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Best Friends

Tonight, my daughter was sad when Dora was turned off.  Before this she hadn't watched TV since J was in preschool this morning, so I was quite proud she went 7 hours.  But she was quite sad when it was turned off, I told her I know its sad, but its time for bed.  I asked her if Dora was her best friend?  She said no.  Is Hannah?  No.  Is Johnny?  No.  Is your brother?  No.  I am?  She smiled, said yeah, and gave me a big hug.  It was good she finally said yeah, because I was running out of options, after me and then her dad.  But it was nice to be rewarded after a long two days.  This is why I love toddlers, because they honestly believe with all that toddler brain power, that their mommy is their best friend.  I find a colicy bossy 2 year old toddler easier to care for most days than the preschooler.  She may scream 10 hours a day but she never tells me in the middle of reading books, or cooking dinner, or driving to the library, or putting on shoes.  "I'm BORED!"  Then again maybe I'm not fair, because the 5 year old screaming is just as bad if not worse as I'm Bored!, and definitely worse than the 2 year old.  I'm not sure if he and I are going to survive this winter together.  Our seasonal affective disorders seem to be at odds with each other, last night's snow storm did nothing positive for such moods, in our small apartment.
But I'm off topic, this is a happy post, about how I am Nan's best friend. She gives the best hugs. That being said, please no one tell me how hard any amount of children over the quantity of two is hard, because I just don't think I can stand it. The longer my two children are alive the smaller my expected family gets.

Slob

I'm a little confused with my daughter lately.  All she wants to do is stay in her pajamas and watch Dora or Deigo all day long, literally.  She screams bloody murder, and wiggles, kicks, roll over everything else when I try to change her clothes.  She hates taking off her pajamas.  I have to hid them in the laundry, or she will try to put them back on.  The uglier the pajamas the more she loves them.  She is more than willing to take off her clothes and put her pajamas on at night, she doesn't want to wear clothes, even if I'm finding knit pants for her to put on.  Then she wants to watch tv all day.  Where did she learn this?  I hate staying in my pajamas and feeling like a slob.  I never watch tv all day.  Where did she learn that its ok, to stay in pajamas and watch tv all day?  She doesn't watch tv, all day, but when its not on, she points to the tv constantly screaming at me.  The moral of the story, she is such a joyful daughter to have.
The previous picture was taken before she entered her slob phase.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What else needs to be said?


Official

My husband got promoted.  He finishes his MBA in July, and on Monday he officially joined management.  He is meeting with his director today.  It goes manager, (upper) manager, director. So now instead of having two managers between him and his director there is only one.  Since its internal things will take a while, they have to hire his replacement and he has to train him, and probably a few others.  The job opening to replace him was posted yesterday so its official! 
The great omen about it all, is he had a list of career goals to achieve by the time he was thirty.  He turned 29 on Monday, the day his new position was official.  So he now has completed all his goals.
(Sort of, he had a salary goal, I'm not sure if its polite to say actual numbers. Our salary is not that, but it was a salary goal if we lived in California, we planned on moving out there at one point.  We have since changed our plans but since the cost of living is different here we have met it. Just not number wise. But comfortable life wise/ cost of living- yes.)
I'm very proud of my husband, for achieving his goals before 30. I'm also really glad he achieved his goals, because as a wife I fear I'm holding him back, so its nice to know I'm not. I actually think I'm probably fueling his goals, but I fear I'll hold him back.  Emotional is not always logic.
He might also had had a goal to own a house, so we'll see if that happens in the next 12 months.  But even if that doesn't, its better to have not owned than be underwater right? That and we paid for tuition by not owning.
Long story short, my husband is management.  He accomplished another goal.  He is very driven.  I'm glad I interrogated him so much when we were dating, because I wanted to marry a man who was motivated with his career so I'm glad I pushed to figure out.  (Brent doesn't like talking about himself.) If I was going to get married and give up my career for our family, he was better going to have a good career. Education didn't always come super easy for me, but I tried and was motivated, so I wasn't necessarily looking for the top of the class, just someone that was going to try and keep moving.  I think I was very successful in finding that, Brent has done a lot in the last 11 years, since he got out of high school. I'm proud of him.  I'm married to a stellar man.

My Secret

I just wanted to share with everyone my secret to happiness.  A pregnant women can get a multitude of free parenting magazines.  They just seem to come and come and come, forever. I use to obsessively read them, at least two-three a month.  To the point I was about to explode. Life was not happy, those magazines did not improve anybody's life in my house.  My secret to happiness was to recycle those devil magazines immediately and/or cancel some of subscriptions.  Oh, life has been so much happier now, for everyone.
I don't feel like a bad mom.
I don't feel like my children are failures.
I don't feel like my children are abnormal.
My husband doesn't have to play emotional damage control.
I don't worry about every little thing, and can just enjoy new things when they come.
We are going on at least a year of house free of parenting magazines. I plan on never reading another one again, unless maybe my next ob doesn't haven anything else in her office and I forgot my book.
No I'm not pregnant this is not an announcement.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Momentum

I exercised regularly all summer.  For the first time in a long time, but I did it and I was proud of my progress.  Then preschool started and I never could find time.  It just didn't happened.  A few weeks ago I heard some other moms talking when we were picking our kids up at preschool, and this mom said she wakes up at 4:30 because it just doesn't get done if she doesn't wake up early.  She apparently has a 14 year old who has to get up at 5 or 5:30 for sports and seminary, or something, I really wasn't paying that close of attention to their conversation.  I just thought 4:30?! I couldn't do that, but then I thought if she can wait up at 4:30, I can wake up at 7.  Preschool doesn't start until 9, and so I wasn't waking up until 7:30.  I know I'm weak sauce.  So during January, I woke up at 7 and exercised.  In a way it was terrible because my kids started waking up before 8 and how was I suppose to get my exercising in if they were up.  But we figured it out, they could sit on the couch and wait until 8 for the breakfast. So I was exercising again and I was feeling better than I had in months.  I fell asleep quickly, I was in a better mood, I felt better about myself, I had better posture, I had a desire to eat healthy.
Then three Saturdays ago, I was trying to unplug something from behind a desk and strained a muscle in my neck. I was in so much pain.  I took a week off, I was disappointed because my momentum had been so good!  But I didn't want to make my neck worse.  It felt better by Wednesday or Thursday, but then Nan and I got colds.  So I didn't start back up last week, I've been so tired, I crawl out of bed at 7:30 and take a nap every afternoon.  Maybe next week, I thought.
Then I started sleeping poorly again.  Well once I'm asleep I'm fine, but if I'm not active enough during the day then I really struggle falling asleep.  So I set my alarm for 7 and I'm back in the progress.  Its great, but the first morning was hard, I was tired, my body was shaky. I wanted to hit snooze, I wanted to sleep on the couch. But I survived, and I'm back on the wagon.

During this current sabbatical, I realized why I liked 25 so much.  Exercising gave me a better self esteem, so it wasn't that 25 was a magical age of adulthood, but that the endorphins or something were making me feel better. Which is reason enough for me to participate in moderate exercise 4 times a day. Yeah, I'm still weak sauce, I moderately exercise 30-60 minutes a day, 4 days a week.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine Boys

Brent's birthday is Valentine's, as his brother in law's birthday. So we had a joint party, with blueberry cream pie/ strawberry cream pie.
It was a race to see who could light their 24 candles the fastest even though they actually turned 29, I don't why I didn't buy another box its only a dollar.
My husband couldn't get a match to light and really lost.
But won the second round he blew out his candles way faster, even though this picture does not show it.

State Liquor Store

After we moved here they built this big nice new State Liquor Store nearby, we drive by it everyday on the way to preschool.  Today my preschooler said, "Mom, I never want to go into the alcohol store." I replied, "oh good, me either." Then he told me, "Alcohol is poison if we drink it, its only to rub on our skin."  Well ok.  Who says kids don't listen, we read about the Word of Wisdom in the Doctrine and Covenants Reader months and months ago.  I wanted to laugh real hard after he told me that, but he was being serious so I didn't think it would be right to laugh.

Now for my opinion on the Liquor Store.  I grew up in a Texan town that was dry.  Which meant my friend's parents had to pick up their drinks in a different town.  I remember as a kid going to the mall or what not with friends, on the way home their parents were stop at the Alcohol store.  They would leave us in the car, and go buy whatever they want.  But because of the way local politics played out in wet and dry towns, the liquor stores were always super ghetto looking, a gas station by itself. So when I drive by our brand new State Liquor Store at night, the lights are on and it looks super nice inside, my first thought is why haven't I stopped in that nice new bookstore, then I remember that isn't a book store its a liquor store and I'm disappointed.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Chinese New Year

I'm pretty sure none of my posts are timely anymore. (RSS feed users, a few days ago I finally started to post old posts I haven't ever hit the orange button for.)  A few weeks ago my child celebrated Chinese New Year in preschool.  He was trilled that it was year of the rabbit, because he loves his stuff animal Peter Rabbit, that is named Old Bunny.  With the massive pile of preschool junk that came home in his backpack I learned a interesting little piece of trivia about my family.  My husband and my son's Chinese Zodiac is the Dog, my daughter and I are both rats.  Personally I find the rat to pretty much be the lamest Chinese Zodiac to have, not that I actually take stock in any zodiac, it makes me feel lame when I go to Chinese restaurants to be reminded that I'm a rat.  But back to the interesting bit of trivia that I learned during all this Chinese New Year is my husband and son are 24 years apart, and my daughter and I are 24 years apart.  Funny huh?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

childhood vs. motherhood

Valentine's day is creating a dilemma within, my childhood is at war with me as a mother.  One of the few specific things I remember from Elementary school is valentines without candy are lame.  Paper printed with a picture with a name printed on it is lame, unless it comes with something.  But as a mother the last thing I want to do is give my son a bunch of candy to pass out for school.  But I can't neglect the child in me, J picked out airhead valentines. I hate for my son to be the lame kid I didn't like.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Cute Girl

Earlier my daughter was scribbling on paper, when I noticed her say "bebe bebe" then drop her marker, and rock an invisible baby in her arms.  It was very cute, to know she was drawing pictures of babies. I not sure I've ever met a girl who loves babies quite as much as my daughter.
We have a play date policy, if we go to someone else house, its always a BYOB playdate. ("Bring your own Baby") Wars and massive scream ensue if we don't, apparently most 2 year olds don't need four plastic babies like my daughter and usually only have one.
Yesterday my friend said they finally weaned their two year old off sleeping with her baby doll.  I said huh, funny, Nan wants specific things to sleep with but never her babies.  She puts her babies to bed before she goes to be, in their own bed.  My friend laughed saying, "oh she is one of those moms that like her sleep." I said yeah, I guess so like me.  She doesn't know any different because I don't allow my kids in my bed. She doesn't know that some mommy sleep with babies.

Elementary Football

My husband and I have never been invited to a Super Bowl party until this year.  I was so honored, but it wasn't much of a party it was just three couples, and four kids.  But nonetheless I felt so loved.  Actually it is only the second time we have watched part of the Super Bowl, in our marriage.  We aren't much of sport fans, we've never had a tv until this year, and like I said we were never invited. I'm sure we were never invited because we don't come off as people who care about sports. But I was slightly interested this year, since it seemed like a throw back to old school America. Back when unions were helping the production of America, not destroying it.
Turns out that I can't handle more than 3/4 of a football game, which is why I never showed up before the second quarter of a high school football game, and I only went to two college games.  That an my college team was embarrassingly terrible. In the middle of the third quarter, I just snapped, I was so done, I cleaned up all the toys the four kids had played with and stuffed my kids out my friends door claiming it was bedtime.  In my defense it was actually bedtime.
I went home and made my husband put my kids to sleep, and that was that.  Until I read Alisa's post.  All of a sudden my quiet thoughts made sense.  The only two names I recognized the whole game was Dion Sanders and Troy Aiken.  Aiken was a commentary if you didn't notice, Sanders was inducted into the Hall of Fame.  One of our friends said about Aiken, and her husband said no, he was a Cowboy, I don't like any cowboys.  Inside I was screaming blaspheme, outside I was silent, I couldn't even figure out why I cared. Until I read Alisa's blog.  That's why that dang Valley Creek implanted Cowboy loyalty into my subconscious. I also feel a strong kinship to the Rangers. I couldn't careless about the Stars or the Mavericks, even-though I would rather watch those sports than football and baseball.  But the Stars and Mavericks weren't in their glory until after Elementary school so its not deep seated like Cowboys and Rangers two sports I barely like. 

Sunday, February 6, 2011

From a Child

I recently read the first chapter of the new LDS Gospel Principles Manual.  It caused me to find 2 Timothy 3:14–17,
14But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; 
15And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. 
16All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:  
17That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
Which so nicely summed up what I have been thinking about for weeks. I'm not quite sure if it was something in a lesson I taught or it was connected to reading the Book of Mormon with J.  But I've lately been thinking about how my parents always read the Book of Mormon to me, so it was never a hard for me to believe in the stories in the Book of Mormon.  The bedrock of my testimony is the Book of Mormon, the prophets in the Book of Mormon have always been real people to me.  I have just always known the Lehi, Nephi, Jacob, Alma, Moroni, Mormon, Abinadi, etc, were always real people, because my entire life I have read about their lives.
For weeks I've been thinking about whenever something gets hard, I can always go back to when I knew I felt the spirit or when I knew the Book of Mormon was true.  Or when I knew my husband had to do an MBA, or when I knew I had to be a mother.  Those are comforting memories to me, because being a mother is not always the easiest thing for me.
I'm glad the church has encourage the primary children to read their scriptures every day this year, because its the push we needed to finally get our act together.  Its been so fun reading 1 Nephi with J.  I think I might have already mentioned this, but he is loving the plot, we read columns each night instead of verses, because he gets so into the story line he doesn't want me to stop. When I read 2 Timothy 3:14–17, I hoped as parents we can stay on the ball, so J can have the same blessings of always knowing the Book of Mormon as me.

But back to the beginning you may be wondering why a CTR 5 Primary teacher is studying the Gospel Principles Manual. I will tell you its because my Stake President, President Wright called me to repentance a few weeks ago during ward conference.  He shared his 10 steps for Developing Stronger Obedience to the Lord:
  1. Daily Personal Prayer
  2. Daily Scriptures Study
  3. Weekly Church Attendance
  4. Regular Study from the Living Prophets (Conference Addresses, he implied at least one talk a week)
  5. Weekly Priesthood/Relief Society Manual Study
  6. Weekly Sunday School Lesson Study
  7. Weekly Family Home Evening
  8. Monthly Temple Attendance
  9. Monthly Fasting during Fast Sunday
  10. Monthly Home/Visiting Teaching -100%
I'll tell you the truth I'm not perfect in all these things, I did read the Old Testament with the church last year, and I'm reading the New Testament this year, but I was not studying the Gospel Principles Manual, so now I've started.  Reading it on my iPod is the perfect place because cross-referencing is just a click away, instead of a throw back to seminary scripture search. I've been trying to read two lessons a Sunday, and if I do that and factor in some weeks I won't then I should catch up with the church by June.
Another point, reading the Old Testament last year was an interesting experience there is a lot I read in there that made me question a lot.  I wondered how it could be the foundation of the same religion as mine?  But I always went back to what my father taught me as a confused trouble teenager.  He told me something didn't matter, I was positive it did matter.  He finally said what does that have to do with your relationship with the Lord?  The answer of course was nothing.  As I remembered that, and focus on I what I knew to be true, I could see the perfection of the Lord in the Old Testament and could see were it was imperfect people in a corrupt society trying their best, which helped strengthen my testimony. I actually found quite a few verses where women were treated correct and fair, proving it wasn't the Lord who brought about the culture.

    Friday, February 4, 2011

    Preschool Playtime

    The other morning my daughter and I were playing, my husband came out of his office to take a break.  He said I think you are really enjoying J in preschool.  I asked what he meant.  He said you seem like you have so much fun playing with Nan during the mornings alone.  I said oh yeah you're right its fun to have one on one time with the kids.  Now if I could only get my butt in gear I would play with J while she was napping.  Unfortunately the real problem he only wants to play video games and I don't want to play video games. But its true I love preschool becomes it gives me a chance to enjoy my daughter, instead of just being annoyed at her constant crying.

    Thursday, February 3, 2011

    Despite

    Despite what the picture shows, my mother in law does not become between my husband and I.
    He He, I know that is a really lame joke, but I think this picture is funny.
    I spent the last week making a 100 page photobook on Winkflash. Their code isn't the greatest, but a couple times a year they have flat rate sale, so instead of $75+ for the book, it only costs $32ish including shiping. Sometimes its really fun to go through all the pictures from last year, and re-live the fun. Other times its quite stressful to try to consodidate 6,000+ pictures into a 100 pages. Yes, my husband and I took more than 6,000 pictures in only 365 days.

    On a side note, years ago I mentioned on my blog that I thought that my husband love language was produce. His sisters commented that its true for their family.  So here is the perfect valentines for people who speak the love language of produce.

    Tuesday, February 1, 2011