Yesterday as I was walking in to church a lady walked out of the Nursery room (the church class for 18 month olds-3 year olds) and said oh are you Nan's mom? I said yes. She said, she is the happiest child in Nursery. I have never seen a child enjoy Nursery more than her. I said oh thank you, I would have never expected that. I seriously thought, wait are we talking about the same child?! She has never enjoyed anything in her life? But this lady continued saying, she is always so excited for everything we do and to move to the next step. I said oh that's good to hear, because until a few months ago, all she did was cry all day everyday. The lady looked at me like I was crazy, just like I had looked at her when she said Nan was so happy. I said oh yes only a few months ago, my husband pretty much had to hold her for all 3 hours of church because she screamed so much. The lady said oh well she isn't like that anymore, she loves it.
At the at moment I realized for my daughter's self esteem and well being, I should probably stop reliving the past. Not to mention for my well-being, I need to let go and move on. If she wants to make a fresh start I should allow her without reminders of the past, because over the past winter she started to make valiant attempts to change her behavior. Instead of all her baby dolls always crying she started singing happy baby happy baby. In fact yesterday while she was coloring, she was singing, happy happy happy happy. Its a little ditty, she likes to repeat. I whispered to Brent, I love when she sings happy happy, its so cute and sweet, and it almost makes the previous two years of non happy life worth it. He smirked, in agreeance. Although I will say although she has tried to improve her behavior at home since around her birthday, church is a new effort. (My dad noticed it at christmas that she was so joyful, but I couldn't see it.) It wasn't until we moved that she stopped screaming every hour of church. Although I'm her excited about her new improvement, and I love that she now loves nursery, we are hardly out of the water. About every other Sunday she throws a big fit during sacrament meeting. Last sunday she decided she wanted to leave. I told her not right now. She started screaming and drooling and rolling on the ground. My husband whispered should I take her out, I said no, and silently folded my arms to reflect on religious thoughts. I think it might have made him feel awkward we are new in the ward. Afterword I explained, that the only reason she was upset, was because she couldn't leave. Taking her out would be letting her win. I know we might have been a distraction for some other people for a few minutes, but she has to learn that we sit in sacrament for an hour and ten minutes we do not get up to leave because we want to. And once the Aaronic Priesthood starting passing the sacrament she immediately stop because she wanted some. I'm sure we were a distraction to some and I'm sorry about that, but hope anyone who had a challenging child at some point in life, would remember what that was like and be understanding instead of judging. But I have no control over others actions so I don't know what what they were thinking, and can only try my best. For me trying my best is not allowing my toddler to play in the hall.
That all being said, let's get back to the point, my daughter loves Nursery, and that is a very good thing.
My daughter sings happy happy happy happy, and that is also a good thing.
My daughter still throws massive fits in which she holds her breath, turns red, then starts screaming and drooling so much her shirt and hands get wet. I'm not counting my chickens, I just ignore them, and move on in life. Since my son can be quite the screamer when life doesn't go his way, I'm not expecting perfection anytime soon. But I'm willing to ignore it all, and listen to the happy happy ditty.