Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Hopes and Dreams

After a conversation with my mom, my sister in law Danna, and lots of other various people at various times, I have been thinking about my hopes and dreams for my children.
Number one being, I hope that they decide to embrace the same religion I have.
But other than that I don't expect my children to live the same life as me. Ever since my pregnancy with Nan, I have thought wow one day my daughter will be in my position, with a baby in her belly.  What will life hold for her?  But overall that is not my greatest desire for her.  Sure if motherhood is in her path, that is super fantastic, but if she never becomes a mother in this life, thats fine too.
My number one hope for my children, is they have complete joy in their life.  In my opinion, joy can come when you are not happy, last year I was not happy, but I had plenty of extremely joyful moments.  Joy in my opinion, is embracing the fullness of my religion.  To fully believe, not to accidentally fall into it.  
My life is pathetic, overwhelming, taxing, and all of the above some-days, no ones life is perfect, but I love my beliefs, I love to go to church on Sunday, I sincerely hope one day they share the excitement. I couldn't deal with all the messy hands, thankless acts, and screaming everyday with out my religion.  I would have never made these choices without it.
Number two goal, for them to be independent.
Which is a scary goal for me, I might one day regret, I might one day miss a relationship with them, because they are independent.  But none the less that is what I want.  I find the greatest joy in my religion and family, but secondly I find it in being independent with my husband.  I don't think I'm independent from him, but at the same time I don't think I'm depend on him, I think we pick and choose what we should do, and together we are independent from the rest. I want my children to know the satisfaction of being independent.
And last I hope to teach my children to think, deliberate and look back with no regrets.  My husband and I truly try to live no regrets.  We make decisions, and then go on, we don't worry and fret with what might have been.  I want my children like that, I don't want them wishy washy, always wishing for what might have been, I want the confident, and daring.
But maybe that is more of a legacy than goal... that is a whole new blog post.

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