First off, I recently said I don't always like my calling. True I do not always love it, just like not everything of motherhood is fantastic. (You can click on my potty training adventures to pick up my least favorite part of motherhood. I normally like my calling, I have been doing it for almost two years, in two different wards, under three different primary presidencies. It is a very humbling calling for me, I feel ill prepared. I don't feel like me and 8-11 year old girls are on the same plain. I never participated in Activity Days, because I am too old, but I wanted to believe in the organization, so I pretty much read everything I could find on lds.org about it. I totally believe! The world is becoming more wicked, and children need more support than they did previously. They are faced with so much more and a younger age than ever before, so they need a chance to get together outside of Sunday to have good wholesome fun. I got to the point I really enjoyed my calling and I was sad I was leaving those girls. Then they called me back to Activity Days in my new ward. I laugh at the bishopric member when he asked me, I thought it was some sort of joke. It has been a completely different experience, I started off with two girls in this ward now I have three. I wish there was another 10 girls in this ward like my last for them all to interact with. I rarely have two successful activities in a row because when you only start off with two its easy to have no one show. My new, third girl just joined the church, her mom is not a member. Neither my co-leader or I have been able to figure out how to incorporate this girl yet. Saturday royally sucked, the girl wanted to come to a Stake Activity Days, but her mom didn't let her. I felt terrible about it all day, things should have happened different but yet they didn't. I stew and stress when things go bad. Unfortunately, I wasn't the best mom, from a crappy morning, I snapped at my son for having too many accidents. After literally making myself sick over the whole business, I realized I can't change anything that already happened, and I need to use the atonement in my life, and turn it over to the Lord. I do the best I can, ask for help (a lengthy email to the primary presidency) and move on, with hope and faith in the Atoning Sacrifice of the Lord. Part of me is so overwhelmed with lack of successful activities I want to be released, and part of me wants to have a successful summer, and when I leave the ward in August leave my calling feeling like I made a difference. Not for my own pride, but hoping it helped the girls. As it is, I keep remembering my four successful activities in this ward, and remembering what one of the girl's mom and older sister (who incidentally is my age) told me about the girl loving activity days. Hmm, you think the Prophet ever has days like this?
Overall, it made me very appreciative to my uncle when he said motherhood is very becoming to me, and I look happier each time he sees me. (Or something to that effect.) Some days, you just really need a complement the day after.