Tonight at dinner I asked my husband am I always this miserable when I'm in my last trimester?
Yes, and you asked me that last night.
I said, no I mean in previous pregnancies have I always been this uncomfortable?
All except for the first, because you didn't have any previous pregnancies.
I really was not in the mood to play word/mind games, so I said no, I just remember I was extremely uncomfortable during the first pregnancy in the last trimester. Remember I couldn't bend over the sink to the dishes.
I then remembered all sorts of miserable memories from my first pregnancy during the last trimester.
I occasionally feel ungrateful that I feel so miserable. But mostly I feel miserable.
It doesn't help that I've had the worst allergies this year that I've had in more than a decade.
I had all these great plans of things I was going to accomplish before the baby came, I'm not sure how much is going to get done, I just feel too tired and uncomfortable to get much done. I thought we could still do fun things during the summer as long as they didn't require a ton of physical stress, but as things are looking now, we are barely getting our grocery shopping done, and showing up for park days.
I'm barely keeping up on the house and cooking, I think its time to go back to my thought process during the first trimester. If I feel my family five nights a week I'm a success. The problem is now, its hot. Everything seems worse when its hot.
Sadly my kids don't even realize their summer is lame, they are so use to me being lame, they don't even ask anymore. Sad day, maybe next summer.
We discussed this at playgroup. The Lord knows we are going to miserable, uncomfortable, sick, or something not pleasant during pregnancy, yet he asks us to be fruitful and multiple the earth. He must be ok with us not being fun moms all the time, because we couldn't be pregnant if we were always suppose to be fun.
Either fun or fruitful, but not both the same year.
I have to say, I'm fondly looking forward to christmas, I should be back by then. It seems like I can be fun again, after the baby is sleeping normal. It might come as soon as Halloween. But then I have this fear in the back of my head, I haven't gotten ever gotten postpartum depression, but I have gotten depression at some other time from the hormones, with the previous two. I wonder in fear when will it hit.
But then I go back to feeling miserable, plus my eyes itch, and its hot. Pray for a rain storm for me.