Monday, February 20, 2012

Cows and Cars

Two weeks ago, we thought we were going to buy a cow, then we thought we weren't.  A hour before J's birthday party my husband called me to tell me he was going driving to Utah tomorrow morning to get a cow.  I said, we haven't seen you in two weeks, you aren't going alone. Thankfully I planned a friday night party, so I didn't have to the party by myself.  Brent explained that some of the buyers for one of his uncle's butchered cows fell through, so we were able to buy a whole beef.  Luckily things changed a tad, his parents met us in the middle.  Part of me was sad we didn't go visit Utah, my kids don't have school today or tomorrow, but I would rather a longer than four day trip, nor did my husband have time off.  Overall I was extremely grateful to only drive 10 hours total.
I was glad we all went. We needed to spend time as a family even if it was to drive 5 hours one way to meet his parents for lunch.
While driving Brent and I had a conversation about old friends, and forgiveness.  An old friend of my mine came up in conversation and long story short, I said, yeah I don't need toxic friends back into my life.  I've made my peace, been able to forgive but I don't need it back.  Then we talked off over friends, and Brent helped me realized the difference between imperfect friends hurting your feeling, and toxic friends burning you.  He helped me realized that some imperfect friends love with as much as they have and you need to accept them for who they are, and sometimes that means forgiving all their imperfections on a regular basis.
I'm sure none of this makes sense but I was grateful to have the conversation with my husband, who seems to be a master at forgiveness, while I like to feed grudges.  He let me in on a secret they he hasn't perfected the process as much as I think he has, but I'm still grateful for example, because years ago his example taught me how to let go of a life time of grudges.
He was right though, some friends are just very imperfect and love you with all they can, they can't meet all your needs, even if you are meeting theirs.
(By the way, I am not trying to say I'm the perfect friend, I'm sure I fall short, on pretty much every account, namely hugging. HA HA)

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