Friday, February 10, 2012


I was talking to a friend today, and I said, I don't know I'm such a realist I felt like I knew exactly what I was doing when I got married.
I said I remember thinking, get married 5 years too early to the person I want to talk to everyday for the rest of my life, or lose contact within a year with my best friend?

That probably does not sound romantic at all, but I knew Brent and I were on the verge of getting engaged we talked about marriage all the time and really that is what it came down to for me.  I knew Brent and I wouldn't be able to stay as close as we were if we didn't get married, at the same time I really didn't want to get married.  But I also didn't want to lose my friendship.  Actually that was my thought process when he started asking me out on dates. I knew if we started dating we would get married, he knew it too.  I knew we couldn't keep being friends if one of started a serious relationship with someone else. Before he started asking me out I remember hoping in my heart that I would get married before him because I didn't think I could handle losing him as my best friend.  I guess maybe that is mushy and romantic.  It just seems weird that falling in love and getting married wasn't a life long dream, it was just better than losing my friendship with him.  I really did weigh the pro cons of dating/marrying him.  I obviously decided I could handle getting married at least 5 years too early, but what I couldn't handle was losing my best friend, so I decided to go on that second date with or was it the third.
I think sometimes my husband wishes I didn't put it think so bluntly. He gives me a hard time for it in my different conversations, he is the type of friend/boyfriend/husband that honestly seems to think, "nothing is wrong with her she is absolutely perfect".  While I am a little too much of a realist for that, I like to add, yes but you get very disappointed when I do such and such.  Also what I find is bizarre is he is the dreamer, I'm the realist. Who would have thought?

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