Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I'm catching up on my TIME magazines, I use to have probably 15 in my house, now I'm down to two. Don't mind my behind the times, this article on How to Deprogram Bullies, was in the TIME a few weeks ago. I thought the article was quite interesting it was about bring babies in for kids to observe. The end of the article says this:

That helps explain why simply punishing bullies doesn't work. Most already know what it's like to be victimized. Instead of identifying with the victims, some kids learn to use violence to express anger or assert power.

After a child has hurt someone, "we always think we should start with 'How do you think so-and-so felt?'" Gordon says. "But you will be more successful if you start with 'You must have felt very upset.'" The trick, she says, is to "help children describe how they felt, so that the next time this happens, they've got language. Now they can say, 'I'm feeling like I did when I bit Johnny.'"

When children are able to understand their own feelings, they are closer to being able to understand that Johnny was also hurt and upset by being bitten. Empathy is based on our ability to mirror others' emotions, and ROE helps children recognize and describe what they're seeing.

Hmm, it made me think, I don't think my kids are bullies, although no one ever thinks their kid is the bully. But I've started to pull the empathy card with my son, do you think so and so likes when you do that? But maybe I should ask why he did it, and what he was thinking first? Although now that I right this, I realize my son and his friend, have a tendency to bully the friend's little sister. Is it 50-50? Is my son starting it? Is my son's friend starting it, and my son follows suit, I don't know.

In the middle of that quote, was this link (See pictures of the college dorm's evolution.) It was sort of interesting. I found this page the most interesting, about married students after the war. There is the caption for those who don't want to click:
Thanks to the G.I. bill, World War II veterans and their wives flocked in droves to campuses across the country in the 1950s, where they lived in trailer parks and temporary bungalows that often lacked plumbing — accommodations that were still luxurious compared to the military barracks. School officials did little to mask the ultimate purpose of these communities (i.e. making babies). At Michigan State University, for example, GIs and their wives lived at "Fertile Valley."

Really? Fertile Valley?

1 comment:

  1. I'm a big fan of identifying emotions. We do it when they boys are upset and try to link the upset-ness to whatever caused it. We also look at the faces of characters in books and ask "How does Lily feel?" It pays off when Victor gets upset and instead of hitting, stomps his foot and says "I am feeling very very frustrated because Olivia will not race me on her bike."