Thursday, February 5, 2015

Post Scripts

  1.  Back to Music, the album U2 War is probably the most influential album I've ever listened to, I often think finding my sibling's CD was the main reason I studied Political Science in college.
  2. I keep blogging so I can blog pictures of my baby's first birthday but for whatever reason they aren't autobacking up to the cloud.... darn google why won't my pictures get off my phone. 
  3. I often wonder what I want to be when I grow up. The benefit of having a baby at 21 is you get to put off what you want to do when you grow up, before I got married I thought wanted to go to Law School. I've never regret I didn't go. That's not what I actually wanted to do in life. If I think about it I'm sad I never got a polsci internship, because instead I was pregnant and we didn't have the luxury of doing things that didn't pay because we needed to eat. But Law School, yeah I'm glad that ship sailed without me. But what do I want to do one day.... I have some many thoughts... Which I don't think I want to post on my blog currently. For years I always knew I would one day get a paying job again but then I started to think nah, I could be a 100% homemaker forever. I've since realized that is so not me. But the world is my oyster in just a few years... its kind of nerve wracking. 
  4. In chapter 3 of the book I'm reading, Rubin talks about "arrival fallacy". I think normally I'm pretty good about enjoying now instead of dreaming of the future. In fact sometimes I get mad at my husband because I feel like he is only dreaming of the future and not enjoying here and now, but that's not true. My anger comes from a failure to communicate.  Anyway, I've terrible with this right now. If only I was done nursing my baby, if only was sleeping through the night, if only everyone slept until 7 am. If only we fit in our house, if only we had a pantry, if only my oldest had his own room so he could read in his room in the evening, if only my daughter didn't wake up her baby brothers, if only my computer desk was better, if only we had a mud room. I could go on and on and on. Some days I think we can never move because we live less than a mile from an excellent elementary school, and we have a huge three car garage and a big yard with an amazing swing set. Other days, I think if I have to live in this small three bed house for more than one more year I will scream. Then I dream about moving places where we would have a smaller home! I'm currently terrible at enjoying here and now.
  5. She also talks about "fun failure". The fun that comes when a crisis hits. I don't find that fun, I don't like spontaneity, I like strict schedules. My husband says to me do you want to run to the store with me during my lunch hour. I say sure by two o'clock I want to scream at him because we still haven't left. He would be perfectly happy to live without clocks. When chaos hits in the house and I loose it, my husband tells me this is the fun part. I look at him like he is insane, and he knows it might just work, because my love for him, keeps me from yelling at him. When the kids are up past nap time or past bedtime I can barely control myself. 
  6. I finally figured out how to reset my phone's photos. They are on the cloud.

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