Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Blank

I'm exhausted, I'm sick of study groups, I have no idea what to cook for dinner. I hit this same thing every night about this time. I keep thinking, if I wrote a wordy post, maybe I'd shape up. Except my mind is blank, there is absolutely nothing there to complain/write about. This is it.
I just want to sit on the couch and stare at the wall, and never have to feed my children again. My laundry is piling up, and the only time I care is when we get dressed and the clean underwear drawers are almost empty. Luckily I'm able to clean up a 10 month old's dinner mess twice a day. But that is about it.
Bagel pizza again? anyone?

Update (7:52 pm): My husband ditched studying to see his family. Much needed. I felt completely not depressed tonight. (This is completely unscientific and unresearched) I think my neutro transmitters don't work well without Brent around, I think my brain lacks dopamine while he is gone. Which only makes sense, since personal relationships, and love increase neutro transmitter activity, that is why we want to be in love, and have close meaningful relationships.

3 comments:

  1. Sorry things are sucking. I'm really not looking forward to being a single parent/hospital widow either. Med school & residency have been fine so far, but I know that's only cuz I'm not going crazy at home taking care of kids. I'm a little scared for the change. And don't knock bagel bites! We live off delicacies like hamburger helper & frozen pizzas already.

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  2. I think the end of the day is hard for all moms... I know it is for me...hardest part of my day by far.
    I have become the crock pot queen and it saves my sanity at 5pm...oh and it helps I save my kids' tv time for the end of the day so I get some "me" time when Jake leaves for one of those study groups

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  3. whenever i feel down i think about this girl...

    http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2009/11/do-you-still-see-me.html

    she and her husband were in a very horrific plane accident and was burned 80% of her body... almost unrecognizable, her children were scared of her and she was devistated! she is LDS and lives in Utah she is such an inspiration! so on the days you feel like this... and don't worry we all do! think of this girl, and life somehow doesn't seem all that bad!

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