But then after researching for myself, the only thing I found was 200-400 sq ft less, for $100-$200+ more. Often times in crappier neighborhoods, with no storage space, I finally consigned myself to the reality, but wondering why I wasn't getting a good feeling about the move. My husband said he figured as long as he didn't get a bad feeling he figured it was fine. I thought maybe this is one of those standing in the darkness with faith experiences.
But still I was wishing for that conformation feelings, when we moved into our first apartment after college, our fourplex off main, I had an extremely strong feeling, we HAD to move there. I told my husband to sign the lease before I had even seen, while I was in Texas, because I KNEW we had to move there. A few weeks later it all became clear that yes we were suppose to move there. I knew every move wouldn't be THAT clear, but still I could wish for something, anything.
So how did I get from a state of denial and confusion to where I am now....
I love where we live, sure I haven't "arrived in life", I don't have my house, my 2.6 kids,
When we came to pick out what apartment to get, we looked at one, and I thought ok I can do this, it wasn't as ghetto was the first one I looked at. Then the landlady, said you have seen the other floor plans right? We said no, so then we proceeded to look at more. At the next one we looked at she informed us that two of the neighbors just had new babies, and have older kids too. When I walked in the apartment, I got that feeling, I thought this is it, this is the apartment for us. Finally IT came, just it wasn't as strong as my first apartment, but still I knew we could live here for the next two years.
I saw my sister in law Alisa later that afternoon when I picked up my son, she asked me about the place. Asked me how I chose, I said honestly it was the one I felt better about. Sure I wouldn't make world order decisions about war and peace based on gut decisions, but apartment rentals I make on gut decisions. She said she appreciated that I wouldn't political decisions based on guts not facts.
So here is the truth about the apartments they are basically the same, the same square footage, the same price, the same development, the same new verse old appliances. The first one had a newer fridge and sliding porch door, while this one has a new oven, a newer dishwasher, and bigger living room. The one we choose has an old fridge which is actually the same fridge I think we had in Pam's basement, except it doesn't work as well. I secretly hope that it will stop working and we will get a new fridge, we have our drop in freezer in our laundry room, so none of our food would be wasted. Plus we love our oven, we have never had an oven that works properly in all our years of marriage until now. Its bliss!
But longer story longer, I do know this was the better apartment to move into, this has a small confined grassy knoll in front for my kid to play in grass, where the other one has a huge not confined. This one has two kids within 20 yds that will start sunbeams with J next January. This one has two kids whose front doors open up to the same stairwell as us. We are ALWAYS outside, my son wines on the floor until I let him out, so it is nice to have other children and adults outside at least half of the time we are there. Sure I often feel like I'm invading into their outdoor time, or butting myself into their conversations, but we are outside more than anyone else, so we promise we aren't just being tag alongs. Anyway, its nice to live by other children, and mothers that are home during the day, we might even start joy school (home preschool) this fall with all these three and four year olds, because there are at least 5 of them super close by.
Not to mention, bonus is we have halved our monthly expensive from where we use to live, and there is less for me to clean, and no indoor stairs for Nan baby to fall down.
As of yet our walls have not leaked yellow stains, like our fourplex on main, we have an built in dishwasher, our own laundry, and ants aren't invading like the last house, and the ceilings are tall enough for us. Like I said life is good, although I still really miss living in our fourplex, I think because it was our first post college place.