A sudden relief has been lifted off my shoulders. My daughter is sleeping in the crib in her brother's room tonight. We spent the last few days visiting my husband's family, all four of us were in one room. My son seemed to do fine with his sister waking up in the middle of the night crying. The only time he woke up was unrelated to her-- he was talking in sleep, and stopped once we threw his sucking his thumb blanket on him. She successfully took a nap in the crib today, but J man was not sleeping in the room. Hopefully all goes well tonight, she still wakes up a time or two each night to eat, but since the two bedrooms share a wall, and the doors are a total of 18 inches apart it will be no big deal to get her before it bothers J man. Turns out its actually a blessing to have a 3 year old who is not potty trained at night, since they say children wet the bed, because they sleep to heavily to wake up. Even if things don't go well I think we have passed the point of no return. My daughter sleeps terribly if she can smell me, which means I don't sleep. People can have a party in the room she sleeping in and not bother her, if I quickly sneak in she is up instantly. (Sorry Laura no advice, J is a heavy sleeper. Other than go visit a sister in law and share a room with both kids.)
My children might not be good eaters, but at least they are good sleepers.
They get those traits from their dad, and probably also me.