Probably the end

This is probably the end of the potty training posts.  Number two was so uneventful in comparison to three years ago. She has made a lot of progress since day one.  I'd pretty much say she is potty trained, plus she no longer goes in the kitchen.

Sure we are going to have 10 million accidents between here and her third birthday but she is potty trained.  She goes when she wakes up, and I still set the timer, and every hour she sits on the potty and about every other time she pees.  She knows how to sit on the potty and pee so that is good, because I don't think she figured it out until Saturday and we started on last Monday.  But I know my daughter's personality, and I knew once she figured it out she be done.  We can leave the house for about two hours and we stays dry while we are gone. Her diaper is dry after naps, but not during the night.  She doesn't need a diaper for naps, but since she is a crib, I decided better safe than sorry. She goes potty at church, she can sit on a big toilet all by herself, but she of course has no desire to leave Nursery to try and go, and so she had a pull up on.  I put pull ups on her when we run errands because I hate cleaning up pee in the grocery store, but I do the same thing I did with her brother and that is keep their underwear on under the pull up so its uncomfortable if they do have an accident. She doesn't care about potty treats, which is awesome since my five year old still asks for them!  He has been asking for the last 3 years! She stopped caring about potty treats on Friday, and the only thing she ever REALLY cared about was lip gloss not candy.  She was furious if I wouldn't let her put it on when she had an accident.  Which is why I bought the lip gloss because I knew she would like it better than candy.  Now she doesn't even care about that after she goes potty.
Overall its been way less painful, but its been super nice to have a husband home by 5, and almost completely take over parenting her.  Its been so helpful, since last time for some reason I potty trained my child while Brent was camping.
Nan only held her breath once during training, causing her to fall off the toilet so its been pretty painless.  Mind you I was still beside myself with grief from potty training for the past week, but it could have been worse.  She has no need of her little potty, but it scared me to watch her turn herself purple while crying and fall off the big toilet, so the little potty is still around for her to choose. Ever since she passed out crying on vacation she has figured out how to turn herself purple might quick.  Its so weird, she has held her breath crying since the day she was born, but it has only been in the past month, she makes herself turn purple when she holds her breath.

Potty Update

I thought I had progress potty training the wee one, after the first day.  The second day, not bad, at least I didn't have to clean dirty underwear, we only had lots of wet.  The third day no progress just wet undies, never once made it to the toliet.  Fourth day, Nan didn't wake up, I kept checking on her all morning, but she just kept sleeping.  Finally at 3:30, I could tell she was awake, albeit tired. I held her, and tried to get her to drink something.  Then she wanted to lie down again.  Finally around 5 I gave her some Tylenol, so she could interact with us. I kept a diaper on her, because she was so tried, lethargic and sick looking. She drank hardly anything all day, so she never peed in her diaper anyway.  I thought maybe this is a sign she isn't ready.  But then she said she wanted to wear panties again when she got better.  So this morning we started fresh, put on those cloth training pants first thing, and set the timer. Finally at 11, after no wet underwear, she sat on the potty and went!!!
Hooray.

Stressed

Potty Training was potty training, after the nap was over.  That is not a positive statement.  Its hard to potty train in the evening, with dinner, and dad, and dad doing yard work, and him asking mom to help.  But I'm not giving a travel log.  What I am saying is, I'm stressed, I have to go visit someone tomorrow, and I have no pull ups.  I think pull ups are more effective than diapers, although I know not that great.  I really don't want my daughter to pee on someone else's carpet.  Although I plan on bringing my timer, and taking her to the bathroom every 30 minutes even if I'm at someone's house.
I was going to go to the store tonight, but it just didn't happen.
Brent is so not worried about anything, so when he agrees with me I get stressed out.  He agreed a pull up would be better than a diaper, but said we would survive either way.  Blah.

I take it back, some for a 40 pound boy, but that is not going to help very well for a 25 pound girl. I think the pull ups I have are the size of my daughters entire abdomen. Too big. I told you I made absolutely no planning, I have had the panties and potties for a year and other than that, nothing.

Potty Training #2

I have been dreading potty training since the last time I did.  So pretty much I've been dreading potty training #2, since she was only 2 months old in utero. She showed interest in the potty over a year ago.  But yet I always had a good reason to put it off.  She has been sitting on the potty a few times a week for over a year now, and never once peed in the toilet, and only ever had two accidents around bath time.
But enough was enough, I had to do it before J started Kindergarten.  So this was the day, I have had it on my calendar for about a month.  (We just got home from vacation Saturday night.)  As we got closer to the day, I often got nervous.  Until yesterday, I was excited.  My daughter was going through the rite of passage to become a big girl. Honestly, I went to bed with anticipation for what the new day would bring.
As a mom things went terrible with the first child.  I think he probably did an excellent job as a barely 2 year old boy, but as a mom I had stupid expectations from reading parenting literature. Honestly, potty training three years ago, was probably one of my lowest moments as a mother, once again by no fault of my son.
So this time things where going to change.  I read no literature.  In fact yesterday while talking to a friend, I realized, I had bought no juices or salty snacks.  I was ill prepared.  But this morning, I realized we would survive.  Turns out, we had apple juice, kool-aid and orange juice.  We have goldfish and ritz. I think pretzels would have been enjoyed if I had them, but we survived without them.
I had been saving M&Ms for months in anticipation.  She didn't care about them, luckily her dad had bought her a couple of pounds of gummy worms a few weeks ago.
But like I said I had done no preparations.  I put the baby potty in the kitchen, and we fed betsy wetsy water, and watched her pee in delight.  My children love to watch betsy pee.  Every 5 minutes I put Nan on the baby potty.  Two hours later, betsy had gone more than anyone could count, I had gone, but Nan was dry as a bone.
I was getting bored, so I called my mom to see if I had missed a step.  She said five minutes was a little excessive.  Twenty minutes is plenty.  So we upped the timer, which was good advice, Nan enjoyed the first hours, but was also getting bored.  My mom also read me Teresa's advice:

The day before take her to the store to pick out a special treat that your going to give her.  Also a timer is very crucial! I am not one to mess with a doll, kids understand what they need to do your just training their  bladder to do what their brain already knows. I DON'T LIKE SEPERATE POTTY CHAIRS ! they need to learn to sit on the big toilet otherwise if you train them on a small toilet you are training their brain that the big one is scary! they sell toilet seats that you sit right on top of the toilet and they feel very safe with these. Never let your kids potty train naked (I have heard some people strip their kids down and let them pee where ever they want don't ever let them run around the house  without underwear)
Day 1:   Show them the timer and let them hear what it sounds like, explain to them that when the timer goes off that is when you need to sit on the potty. .  As soon as they wake up set them on the toilet and then put underwear on after they get off. Set your timer & Sit them on the toilet every 20 min.  (they will have accidents in between but it is still very important to sit them on when the timer goes off ) every time she sits on the toilet give her a treat (even if she doesn't go) If she does go, make a big deal ex. way to go! you did it! good job! and then a treat. Naptime.... I am still a little indecisive on this whether or not putting a diaper on them is a good idea, I lean more toward no diaper and see how it goes after the 3 days... if it seems like their bladder can't hold that long after the 3 days they probably still need to mature a little more in the bedtime area.  At the end of day 1 you will feel like you didn't get anywhere or accomplish anything this is completely normal... DON'T WORRY i promise YOU DID!
Day 2: Same as day 1 but you are going to change the time from 20 min to 30 min. 
Day 3: Same as the previous days but you are going to change the time to 45 min.
As far as her going #2 Sometimes kids train them selves while you are training them.. They feel a sensation and know their brain knows that if they feel something going on they need to sit on the toilet, however it might not happen as you are potty training them. They will have accidents NEVER make them feel bad for having an accident.  Help them understand that its yucky and they no longer need to have this yucky poop on them because now they are big and can go in the toilet.  Don't give up and never never never put a diaper back on them (unless they can't sleep through the night without soaking themselves.)  They probably won' t tell you on their own for a couple weeks if they need to go potty, so you still need to ask every hour if they need to go.  They will eventually just go on their own when they feel comfortable with the whole situation.
HAVE FUN & GOOD LUCK!!!!!

An hour after that, she had a mini accident, the only time she ever left the kitchen floor and ventured into the living room she peed. She doesn't like pee running down her leg, and she has female muscles because she is female so she will stop once she realizes its not being adsorbed in her diaper, and running down her leg. Other than her one escape on to carpet, when she of course had her accident, we spent the whole morning on hard floors.  We played dulpo legos in the kitchen, played the ipod, sang songs, took care of baby dolls, etc. Turns out, have a huge kitchen, and a powder room right off from the kitchen all with hard floors, is invaluable during potty training.  It was so much better than being stuck in a small bathroom with a yellow shower.
I think finally a half hour after her accident she peed in the toilet!! First time ever in her life!
Funny thing is, we were using a little potty, because I kind of hate seat covers on large toilets, I hate pee dripping everywhere. But she didn't want to sit on the little potty by this point, she was watching Dora in the kitchen, so I said do you want to sit on the Dora potty seat?  Well of course, so she did, and the washer was going, and low and behold I heard drips in the toilet.  We jumped up and down, and called Grammy, ate two gummy worms.  After finished dora, eating lunch, she then wanted to take a nap.  It had been a full day.  I think that is a great record.  Once accident, one potty.  My children have the hugest bladders on the planet.

Oh what to do what to do

About once a week in the evening, Nan tells me she has to go potty, then climbs on and off the potty for at least 20 minutes if not more.  Refusing to put on diaper.  She has wanted to be potty trained since August, but with preschool I just haven't had time.  But we are on break, should I potty train her on Friday?
She wants it so badly, and even though I hate buying diapers, I don't think I'm ready.
I would much rather wait after vacation.  Does 2011 sound like a better time to potty train than 2010?
What to do, what to do?
The first time I potty trained, I woke up one morning and said tomorrow is the day, after I had all the supplies for months.  Now I have all the supplies, I'm just waiting for that morning, to think tomorrow is the day.  Do you think thanksgiving is the day I should wake up and say tomorrow is the day?
The other problem is even though she has been sitting on the potty since summer, she has never actually pottied in it, she has only once gone of the floor.  She has the badder of a mammoth.
I've never potty trained a small bladder, but I think small bladder kids pick it up easier because they have more practice.  But once the big bladder understands, then its great. As it my daughter only pees a few times in the morning, that means we have three accidents then nap time.

Revisiting the Old-- Potty Training

No I have not started to potty train, despite my daughter's wishes. Yesterday just to be prepared, I bought teeny undies, and training pants.  But I was firm that it wasn't happening until after our trip without daddy to grammy's.  Then I talked to grammy, and told her: Nan tells us when she wets her dry diaper, she signs potty, and yesterday (Monday) she brought me the diapers and wipes.  So I changed her, I was surprised to find a not dirty diaper.  Then five minutes later she had a dirty diaper, I wished I knew that was what she was going to do.  I wished I had the little potty out. 

But only slightly I'm not potty training until after vacation.  Yes I'm aware now that I will be potty training before my birthday but not before an airplane trip.

My mother told me, let her sit on a potty if she wants, just don't potty train her.  She told me Nan will get frustrated if she is trying to communicate and I ignore her. Ok, true, and you don't want a child upset about potty training before she starts.  So then that evening, I showed everyone new training pants.  Nan was all about them, something new that is pink!  So I pulled some on above her diaper. She was so happy. Then we put the other two pairs from the pack on her head.  And when a toddler looks like this you know its only a matter of time before life as you know it is over.

She kept the training pants on top of her diaper for the rest of the evening, but took the ones of her head.  She complained all evening about her wet diaper.  Then it was time for bath.  For probably eight months now, I start the water, then take off her clothes and her diaper, and she stands there naked until its time to get in.  Never once has she peed.  By this point the little potty was out, just so she could get use to it.  We started the bath, I pulled of her diaper, but left the training pants around her knees.  I asked if she wanted to sit on the little potty she told me no, but then she pottied all down her legs. It was so funny I thought that it was the only day she has ever peed before the bath.  So at least now she knows what it feels like to have it run down her leg.

This morning, she was so upset when I put a diaper on, I don't know if she was expecting training pants or what? She tried to pull it of, and screamed, but the diaper stayed on.

Maybe Crazy

I might be crazy, but this time it is not fever induced.  I am thinking about potty training my daughter come October, I don't want accident around my birthday.
She would 21 months, which is even younger than I potty trained my son, I think he was about 26 months.
But I think she is ready, she stays dry for hours, she wants to change her own diaper, and wipe herself.  I started trying to teach her how to pull her pants up and down.  Not to mention she loves to be big! Not to mention I hate changing diapers, I would rather clean up accidents, then change diapers, changing diapers is 100% guaranteed mess, accidents is like playing the lottery, sometimes you get lucky and don't have to deal with human waste and other times you don't get lucky.
My only hang up is she doesn't know how to talk.  But then I found this, potty training sign language!
I also need a taller stool for the sink.


(I go to church with a girl that potty trained both her boys at 12 months, she said right after they were comfortably/skillfully walking.  Dr. Acredolo did say, "Contrary to popular belief, toddlers are often ready to start training as early as 12 to 18 months.")


Since I wrote this, my baby has also started telling me when she wets her diaper, yup she is ready.

Anniversary

It has been a year. My son has been wearing underwear for a year now. In case anyone wants to relive the joy, here are my frustrations. As a side note, betsy wetsy no longer has a lazy eye. It was a miracle as it potty training. A miracle on so many levels.
1. That the majority of the people in the world are potty trained
2. That people decided to have more than one child after potty training
3. That I survived
4. That my son survived
5. That I decided to have a second child, oh wait I was pregnant before I potty trained
There really is an end, I can't remember the last time my son had a wet accident, and that is really a good thing.

Milestone

My kid has been potty trained for a while. Downstairs he can to do it entirely independent, although right now he favors the upstairs. Upstairs we have to remember to keep the light during the evening, because he can't reach that, he also needs help turning on the water upstairs to wash his hands. Other than that, he goes in and pottys all by himself, thankfully, because he always gets the urge in the middle of dinner. (Nothing annoys me more, I ask him to go before, I've just spent the last 20+ minutes moving around in the kitchen, so there is nothing I hate more as a mother that having to get up during dinner to help him. Luckily he can do it by himself.) But yesterday we hit a milestone. In the middle of dinner he got up (not to potty, just because he didn't want to eat) and I noticed he had different pants on. I asked him when he changed his pants, he looked at me like I was crazy. Later that night my husband was gathering up dirty laundry from his room (it always amazes me how much laundry a little person can have), and there was a pair of wet underwear on the floor. I said he didn't wet any underwear today, but sure enough they were wet, and under them was the pair of pants my son got dressed in the morning.
New Milestone: Changing his own accidents.
I anticipate a few accidents over the next few years, but who cares as long as he is changing them. I've heard stories of the child that never once had accident, but that is not my child, he has many more important things to do than hang out in the bathroom all day. And heck I can't blame him, our bathroom is the ugliest room in the house. I can dream yesterday will be the last accident, but I decided many months ago to have low expectations when it came to potty training that way I wouldn't be disappointed. Its worked great, I didn't tell my son my low expectations, so I didn't set him up for failure, and instead he exceeded my expectations by a hundred fold. I really did not expect him to go in and go potty all my himself, by October, he is not even 3, no one else born in 2006 in Nursery is potty trained. I assumed I'd be helping through the first few months of baby sister, (his underwear is pretty tiny and get quite twisted). Although I also anticipate some regression during the first few months of baby sister.

ma, I sorry

When my son has an accident I want to be mad. Not violent angry, just mad so he knows its bad. As I clean up the mess he sits there in shame and says, "ma I sorry" as clear as day. He keeps repeating it until I acknowledge his sorrow. How can be mad at a child with his head down and shame written on his face, that says, "Ma I sorry"? Today I was washing undies in the toilet (Sorry if you don't have a toddler and find that utterly disguisiting, if it makes you feel better your mom probably did it when you were a toddler.) He thought it was funny, I said very sternly, this is not funny, it is bad to have an accident. He immediately stopped laughing never to start again, saying, "I sorry" "Ma" Ma?" (are you listening?) I responded yes, then he said once again "I sorry." He seems genuinely sorry, so how can I be upset with him? It makes me want to wash my hands and hug him, instead of being annoying how gross it all is.

More of the same

For the sake of my history, I have to make another potty training update. My son has finally learned to pee standing up. This is a very big deal to me. When he is doing the potty dance, and I ask him if he has to go potty, he now says, "go potty like daddy". By the way if anyone has any 3T boy sweatpants they want to give my son, feel free. I won't stand in your way.
He is quite the stinker though (no pun intended) he now knows when he has a pull up on or a diaper on, and knows he doesn't have to go in the bathroom not to leak on the floor. He doesn't like to take off his diaper after he wakes up, but I made the rule you can't eat without big boy pants, and he is quite hungry when he wakes up so it works. Brent says to him, you finally learned to be lazy like the rest of humans. The other day he had a pull up on, because we had just got home, I asked if he had to go potty, he said yes, then quickly said no, no, no, repeatedly. He remember he had a pull up on, I told him if he didn't go potty I would eat his potty treat. (Not that I really want one m&m that has been in the bathroom for weeks.) He quickly said, no, go potty, my potty treat. Which means since he has discovered how to be lazy, I have to not be lazy now. No more pull ups at stores, he almost always comes home dry, I just don't want to deal with an accident in the store. Not to mention he tells me when he has to go in stores.
But church that is a different story. Still no progress on that front. I decided I was just going to tough it out, have him wear underwear, and go to nursery with him. If I saw he had to go, I would take him, until he got use to the fact, we aren't wearing pull ups anymore. Then Sacrament meeting happened. I THOUGHT he was doing the potty dance, so I asked him if he had to go potty. He said no. Then a few minutes later he said go potty. We then sat in the bathroom for almost 15 minutes. I think he just didn't want to sit in sacrament meeting. If he has to go, it never takes me longer than 5 minutes to get the urge again. Finally I made him leave the bathroom, he was crying, but I was going insane. Plus I have to teach him bathroom is not a way to avoid church meetings, its for peeing and then leaving. He was still crying in the hallway, and there was no where to sit, and I can't hold him long, being rather pregnant now. So I told him he could stop crying and come sit in sacrament meeting with mommy, or daddy would hold him in the hall. He stopped crying. (He is not allow to play in the hall, he has to be held that's the rule, so he wants to be in the meeting instead. He has quiet toys at the pew.) Needless to say after such a disaster, I lost my gumption to do underwear at church next week. Whats another few weeks of no potty training at church? We only have about a half a million pull ups. It takes a long time to go through them, because he rarely pottys in them, so we have a HUGE stock pile. Before potty training it would have taken less than a month to use that many diapers, but after potty training, that many pull ups looks like a huge stock pile.
In other potty training news, unfortunately for my laundry, my son loves prunes. Like huge raisins but sweeter. I thought only two a day would be fine, after a week or so, it added up, we got rid of the prunes.

Justification

The other day I was talking to my sister about potty training. She is probably a year and half away but its never too early for research I guess. After talking I decided I wanted to justify my use of candy on potty training. (Not justify to her, the whole blogging world, I know this post is about 2 months late.)
Fact, I bribed my son with food
Fact, I bribed my son with a pack of fruit snacks to use the potty.
Fact, he very clearly learned in less than a week how to say "fruit snacks, potty treats". Clear enough that his single uncle understood him without anyone telling him. He even sang a songs about it.
I know it is socially taboo to do either of those things now, its bad to bribe with food, it leads to obesity apparently. Its bad to give my child candy in general let alone for a bride.
This is why I did it, because I had seen it work before. (I'll leave the parties innocent, but I had seen it work first hand.) Also my mom told me to do it, I figured I turned out alright so why not. Here is the other reason I quickly realized it was the only thing that worked. I tried not to be socially taboo, he was only going to get a tic tac for BMs and stickers for pee. That didn't work, my son's father and his father before him are trained economists, my son naturally understands economies too well, he LOVES stickers, but it wasn't worth a detour to the potty for him. Fruit Snacks where the only thing that worked.
So we stuck with them for 3 boxes. I had bought more but in a fit of desperation I let my son pick out his potty treats in the store. He picked out life savers and gummy worms. Thats when we downgraded. From a pack of fruit snacks to one gummy worm, two for stinky stuff. He seemed perfectly content with the downgrade. I bought more gummy worms for a while, but then I decided to use my candy stores, which included old easter cadbury eggs (now Teresa is wondering how I had any left over, I can never eat a whole bag.) Then my grandma gave me left over jelly beans, and they became potty treats. Then those got low, so we added M&Ms. Still two months later after potty training and my son still gets an M&M if he goes potty, and two if he if its dirty. (I have only had two accidents during the move, one when I was in the shower, and one when I ignored the yells of "Ma Ma Ma" because we were on different floors, with a tract record like that during high stress I have no desire to abandon the sugar.) I'm sure current child psychology would say that is awful, but heck my son eats less candy now then before he potty trained.
Now he only candy when he goes potty, and before he potty trained I was sick and pregnant in my first trimester so he basically got candy whenever he asked because I felt too crappy to hear him cry. Not to mention, he only goes about 5 times a day, and he doesn't always remember to ask for a treat, so he is probably get maybe 5 grams of sugar a day, probably more like 3. He gets more sugar during breakfast than he does from pottying in the toilet. (I know its terrible my son doesn't eat plain oatmeal, or plain bran for breakfast but its the truth, I don't either, plus I would bet none of you do either.) Normally we eat yogurt for breakfast, and we started buying the more healthy kind but none the less it is not plain. Even when he eats healthy cereal its still has some sort of sugar or honey to make it palatable. Although we rarely buy "sugar cereals."
You may ask why I don't wean him from the potty treats, I've vaguely tried, at least thought about trying. But there is still plenty of times each week, when my son is doing the potty dance, and the only way he is willing to go to the potty is after I say potty treat. Even if he went 20 times a day, like me, I think I would still be ok with the m&ms. I don't think 20 grams of sugar is going to make him diabetic, and I have consciously tried to cut out other sugars from his diet because of the potty training.
As my husband would say its all about incentives. Humans do anything if you give them the right incentive. Adults are no different, although sometimes we require different incentives, there are plenty of times treats work on me too. The other thing I've figured out is the incentives have to be immediately, something in the future after multiple trips to the potty do not work for my son. But I am the same way, if I practiced the piano 4 days a week for a month my mom was going to take me out of ice cream, or buy me a new shirt, really anything I asked. You know how many times I got that incentive? Never, it was too far in the future for me. But I guarantee you, every time my mom told me she would do my dishes if I praticed for a full 30 minutes without interruptions I did it. Apparently my son is the same way. He also needs the potty treats in full view from the toilet, so I place them on a high shelf in plain view. It makes it tricky when we aren't at home, which maybe part of the reason he has a hard time focusing, he keeps craning his neck to find the potty treats.