Sunday, July 12, 2009

Coming to Terms

I'm coming to terms with my next phase of life.
First off today, after we spoke in church, this sweet lady in our ward came up to me afterward, telling me how much she is going to miss me, and how she wished she had a chance to get to know me better. I said well we weren't here long, she said thats no excuse you are so amazing, and have the best insight, I've learned so much from you. I can't believe you are leaving. She was crying, which made me teary. I thought that was so sweet of her to say. I've always felt like we were friends, so... (If you ever feel lonely in church, start making coments in class, and soon the whole ward leadership will know you.)
Second, my family walked around campus tonight, with the JDanna family. As my husband pushed the stroller, I remembered a previous time of pushing a stroller around campus. Since my son was born before we both graduated he was pushed around campus usually daily as we juggled our schedules. Although I realize my children and I will rarely if ever be on campus, I realized being poor and in school brings lots of happy memories. Lots of people have two kids and wife while they are in school, especially MBA students. Pretty much I realized life will be crazy but it will be fun. And maybe during that time,I can feel that I am as cool as Sister Nelson,
I pay tribute to Sister Nelson, who never murmured because she had to make do with very little. I recall an experience one night in downtown Boston. We were walking along Boylston Street. There we passed a furniture store. Sister Nelson pressed her nose against the windowpane and asked, "Do you think we will ever be able to afford a lamp?"--Russell M. Nelson, “Faith and Families,” Ensign, Mar 2007, 36–41

Three, I'm finally able to move on with the not buying a house. I realized a few days ago I wasn't really attached to any of the houses so why wasn't I able to move on? Then I realized the American Dream, home ownership, driving a mini van, 2.6 kids, a family pet, walking your kindergartener to school, or driving him in a subaru to charter school, shopping at the new wal mart for cheap diapers. Sure I'm not ready for a mini van, sure I would hate to only have .6 of a child, but I realized emotionally I had become attached to the idea of a large backyard fenced in by a tall white vinyl fence, where we would store some chickens or a dog, grow a garden, have fat bbq parties, and drive to the newish walmart to buy cheap diapers, but first browse the sale racks at the Kohls across the street. Yeah, sounds like a stupid dream I know, but I got attached it to. Why, am I attached to the idea of shopping at a walmart for cheap diapers is beyond me. Especially since my local grocery store sells them for the same price. But finally now that I've realized that I can move on.
Our upstairs is covered in boxes, our downstairs is getting emptier and emptier, we are still days and days away from being all packed up. None of my children are suffering emotional trama yet.
Lastly, both the Bishop, myself and my husband mentioned we are moving, after church, a brand new stake president came up to me, and said something to the effect, that I gave a really good talk. What does that mean? Did he really mean it, or was he trying to be a good stake president? I always wonder do people mean good talk or is it just the thing to say. The stake president seemed sincere, but maybe its just the thing to say.

1 comment:

  1. I bet it really was a good talk! And you are very good at public speaking in general.
    Did brent to a good job?
    I hate it when people say ummmm all the time in their talks...I hope you didn't do that too often.