I didn't get dressed until 10:30 today. I didn't feel like it, the only reason I got dressed was I was embarrassed when someone knocked on the door, plus play group was in an hour.
Anyway, I told my husband I didn't feel like going but my son need to get out. He said whatever you always come home happy as lark from play group. (That is a direct quote, I think.) He is right I need human interaction with my peer group as much as my children. When it was over, I said, well I should get home so I can get back to feeling sorry for myself. I said it was a complete joke, but I think it was appreciated, another mom was so relieved that other people have bad days. Although its not quite a joke, its always easiest to feel sorry for myself when nothing is actually wrong, and I'm alone. Anyway, today when I came home, I don't know if happy as lark described me, but at least I got some fresh air and perspective.
1. I have been thinking for weeks, even though I have a stupid rental washer and dryer (its not unusual to have to dry my clothes for 4 hours) at least I have a washer and dryer. I can't imagine living a 100 years ago and hand washing clothes. That would have been by far the worst part of no technology. Thank goodness I live in modern society. I love having a washer and dryer, I am so blessed
2. A month or so ago, for Stake Relief Society meeting, former General Relief Society President Bonnie D. Parkins came in spoke. She showed us pictures of women all over the world and told their stories. One set a pictures was from a hospital in an underdeveloped nation, which one I have no idea, she and some other leaders had brought infant resuscitation kits for the nurses there. As I listened to what she said, I didn't really listen, I just thought how blessed I was, that my daughter was born in a country that has hospitals that have the ability to resuscitate newborns. If you only read my blog you probably didn't know she was born with the cord around her neck twice not breathing. Luckily the hospital staff was very capable, and 10 minutes later she was in our arms healthy. But the staff spent the first few minutes shoving tubes to get her to the healthy adjective. It was pretty much the scariest 5 minutes of my life, I can't tell you exactly what time it happened, but I remember when all of sudden she was fine, the entire mood of the room changed, lightened. Until I saw those pictures of women in the hospital 3 women to every two beds recovering, I don't think I understood how blessed I was to have a healthy 5 month old daughter sleeping her crib while her daddy babysat.
Life is good. Life is blessed. What else matters. No matter what the doctor says my daughter is healthy. I know it, my husband knows it. And I will still be extremely blessed even after I move to a much smaller place, if anything much more blessed.
I will try to stop complaining, but no promises.