Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I have been...

...reading, albeit slowly. A little over a month ago I read, A Nation of Wimps:The High Cost of Invasive Parenting by Hara Estroff Marano. I loved it I would totally recommend checking it out of your local library. As a nation we are totally destroying our children, by over parenting. I don't think of myself as an invasive parent, but still there was plenty of things I did/do because I feel pressure to "be a good mom" that is actually bad for a our kids. The sad thing is most of the stuff I was doing/am doing is not because I think its the best to do, but because I don't want other parents judging me for not doing it. The author talks about that too. Anyway, I found it super interesting and very insightful. It was very beneficial to add it to my parenting book list. I would hardly suggest following it verbatim, but I think if anyone did they would miss the whole point of the book. It was also very interesting it because she talked about how the way parents are parenting in America, could make it extremely difficult for our economy or our political system to continue. America is raising children that are unable to take risks as adults and do anything as adult unless their parents help. But yet our free market economy requires a large portion of the population to enter into risky situations, and democratic government needs people to question the system. Something most children and now adults have not be taught to do. Luckily my parents didn't raise no dummy. Although many people in their 20s right now, are not able to question authority, because their parents through over emotional attachment have complete control over their children.
Here is my goodread's review.
A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting by Hara Estroff Marano

I really enjoyed this book. There is so much information out there about how to be "a good parent" which teaches parents to infantilize their children way too long, this book basically says all of that is crap. Children need to play by themselves and figure things out for themselves. Its not a tragedy if a kid gets hurt playing, its how they learn. I sometimes feel like a bad parent because I let my kid play by himself, or when he gets bored, apparently based on the research presented in this book, those are all good things! Children need to learn how to fight their own battles.

I found the part where she presented research on babies forming attachments fascinating. Apparently babies who are neglected act very similar to babies of invasive parenting. A baby will naturally form an attachment to their primary caregiver, but infants like older children, need to form their own identity to survive the stress of life. The other part I really liked was the current research they are doing on cell phones, and emotional behaviors. Apparently constant cell phone use of young adults changes the way the brain is hardwired making it extremely difficult to problem solve. I very much enjoyed the book, and it made me think about how I parent my child, and whether I'm helping him to one day become a product adult or hindering his independence. Unfortunately, I've found I'm sometimes in the past I have been guilty.

View all my reviews.


  1. Sounds interesting. Does it have the opposite research, babies that formed attachments early on and how they deal with the real world later? did it say early attachment was good or bad for kids when they get older?

  2. Early attachment is good, and natural. Almost all babies form attachments. What the author said, was something to the effect of children and babies need a chance to experience life without the primary attachment. If I remember correctly there was a study done on 1 year olds, and over attached children, and neglected children acted the same when their primary attachment left. I think... I didn't study the book, I read it quickly and I read it a month ago.
    PS I didn't agree with every point of the book. But I did like the majority of it.