When J was a baby, he was on an excellent sleep schedule. He was a great napper and very consistent I read lots of sleep books, and I did what worked best for us. He always went down awake and always put himself to sleep. (Which made him a nightmare at church because he wouldn't nap without a bed.)
Multiple things I read talked about how you have to want your baby asleep, and not actually want to be holding them. Etc, etc. At the time I couldn't fathom wanting to hold my baby when I should be sleeping, or even during the day while they should be sleeping. Then again J didn't like to cuddle and often wanted to chill next to me, instead of being held. Even with Nan, I had no desire to see her during sleeping time.
Now its been 4-6 years since I've had those babies, and I finally understand what those books/articles were talking about. Baby A nurses to sleep, and I just want to hold him. He is only a baby for such a short time, why miss it. Baby A will only be a baby for a short time so I have to soak it up, while the other two where babies for what seemed like an eternity, but now I realize it was a blink, but at the time it was in eternity. When Baby A is up past the other kids, he is the star of the show, my husband and clamoring to win his attention. The majority of the time he goes to bed at 7, but when he's up late, we let him. I have no problem rocking him to sleep, in fact he has recently out grown being rocked to sleep, and I wonder what happened to my baby? Yes, I'm atrocious, and I'm ok with that.
Although I sort of think Baby A, taught me to be atrocious, he doesn't play the sleeping game like my other kids did. He refused not to be rocked to sleep for months. He would never stop crying, if I was in the house, and would quickly slip off to slumberland in less than 5 minutes if I rocked him. He can't be on the same schedule the other babies were on, because we are always carting some child to here and there and yonder. His naps are often interrupted With the other babies I was a prisoner in my own home, I stayed put during naptime, no one never napped on the go. Not this baby, he gets his sleep when he can, because life goes on.