This house hunting has been one of the most interesting experience of my life. I guess I'm learning how to listen to the spirit and pray for what the Lord wants for me not for what I want.
Two weeks ago when our first offer was out there, I was praying that our offer would be accepted if it be thy will. Then two or three days into it changed one day. I found myself praying for something different. That I would have the faith for what the Lord wanted. When I found myself praying that I was slightly surprised.
Yesterday I started my Sabbath prayers unexpectedly again. I prayed that the Lord would renew my faith as it falter. I thought that was an odd prayer as right there my faith was strong.
Last night we found out our second offer wasn't accepted. I was not suprised it never really felt right to me. But then once I was in bed a deep panic ran over my virus inflicted body. (My children gave me a cold.) I have literally looked at every listing in the town that the Spirit has told me to move to.
Sure in the light of day I realize that there will be more houses but... It is a discouraging process.
I spent the night sleeping poorly, grinding my teeth and going through all the listing that are still out there wondering which one could work..
Anyway back to the reason of this post, in February 2000 Boyd K. Packer had an Ensign article titled Teach the Children, he said, "I once heard President Marion G. Romney (1897–1988) say, “I always know when I am speaking under the influence of the Holy Ghost because I always learn something from what I have said.”
In the last few months I've often found myself learning from a comment I've made in church. Lately my prayers are no different.
I also feel like I need to ponder on this quote from President Packer. "Some wait for compelling spiritual experiences to confirm their testimony. It doesn’t work that way. It is the quiet promptings and impressions of ordinary things that give us the assurance of our identity as children of God. We live far below our privileges when we seek after signs and look “beyond the mark” for marvelous events."
Am I looking for quiet assurances or grandiose feelings? I've had grandiose feelings when moving my family to a new home but mostly I've had quiet assurances that it will all work out.
Then again I also believe what Elder Hales taught in Spring Conference this year in his talk entitled The Holy Ghost.
"The Holy Ghost provides personal revelation to help us make major life decisions about such things as education, missions, careers, marriage, children, where we will live with our families, and so on. In these matters, Heavenly Father expects us to use our agency, study the situation out in our minds according to gospel principles, and bring a decision to Him in prayer."
"I remind all of us that the Holy Ghost is not given to control us. Some of us unwisely seek the Holy Ghost’s direction on every minor decision in our lives. This trivializes His sacred role. The Holy Ghost honors the principle of agency. He speaks to our minds and our hearts gently about many matters of consequence."
"Each of us may feel the influence of the Holy Ghost differently. His promptings will be felt in different degrees of intensity according to our individual needs and circumstances."
That last quote explains why some moves have stronger impressions then others. The Lord tailor's my needs to my circumstances. But yet I don't know if I'm being too picky and I should get something. Or if the Lord is testing my patience for something better. That is the question we've been wondering/searching.