“The intertwining of people’s lives, often regarded as mere coincidence, is actually part of God’s ‘divine design.’”
Neal A. Maxwell

Backpacking

One of the very important reasons I took a chance with Brent was because he liked backpacking. I had been backpacking a grand total of 2 times, before I met him.
But that makes me tough, you know?
He thought so.
He wanted a girl that wasn't afraid of roughin' it. He, his friends, and former scout leader were impressed I would try water skiing when I never had been before. I was surprised they found it so surprising. I do anything I want, (which isn't everything).
I tough it out better than most teenage boys when we go backpacking. I don't need an outhouse, pillow, change of clothes or running water. But I do need a massive amounts of clean drinking water. I can not move one more inch without constant water.
Plus the joke's on Brent I get altitude sickness. :p

So Brent, he likes to backpack. Indeed his mountain man-ness is one of my favorite things about him. But it has some huge downfalls.
Like High adventures. How many weeks I've missed of my marriage because he has been camping with the Boy Scouts?

Oh well, I still love him.

I've decided my little boys are old enough to be a better support him. So I'm been happy while he's gone. I had no melt downs. (I'll be honest last year when they were practicing for a dance festival, I encouraged my husband to not show up. They didn't need him, but I did.)

What changed you may ask? Well my mental health is healthy. That is important. Sometimes I'm supportive sometimes I can't handle being the only parent at home.

But last Sunday, I saw him on the stand with a boy that use to be one of his Deacons, he is now 16. After four years some of those young men will remember Brent their whole lives. I wondered if he is the type of leader that they will remember fondly or will he just be that one in the background of their youth that didn't make impact on them? I realized a lot of that has to do with how supportive I am as a spouse. So I've repented and started again. (He is FB friend with boys that were his deacons in Springville, who have now gone on their missions, come home and are now full-on adults. So weird! He always shares with me their big life news.)

I wasn't expecting a test of faith in less than 3 hours. But it came. After church he said to me, so we've decided to give up on ____ ___ for boating. Brother ______ said he could take us. Ok, I replied. He said the best weekend for everyone is a week from Saturday. I said ok. He asked, you do realize that is two Saturdays in a row. I replied, I know. He said the high adventure this week, and boating next. I said, I'm aware. I know, its ok.  He looked at me and wondered what happened to his wife.

Wedding update

Tonight, I went to a wedding reception with my 6 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old. No husband, he is high adventuring up, but I can't complain he took my 9 year old. My 6 year old is thriving being the oldest.

Back to the wedding. I was going to give the bride money no matter what, so I wanted my free cupcakes. Brent would have been so proud of me, I only ate two. I figured I'd rather keep my children contained at the reception then miss the action at home.

When we walked in, I wanted to prostrate myself on the floor like a child who doesn't want go into just one more store. I thought I can't do this in 20 years. It looked so lovely!

It didn't help that my bishop stopped to say to hi to me, while I tried to keep my kids from covering everything in frosting. He told him you'll be here before you know it, pointing to my daughter. Seriously I wanted to cry!
I said, oh, don't I know it, I'm worried.

Then I had a moment of clarity when I was putting an inch of peach lemonade in three different cups. Weddings are fads, all I need some good friends and do the same reception as everyone else that year.

*Insert more crying* I'm so bad at making good friends what if I don't have any when my kids get married. Best case scenario, my boys all marry girls who's parents live within an hour of us, and I have to help but not put on a wedding reception. Worst case scenario I have to put on ones for my boys too, because they will marry girls from other states. Five out 7 spouses among my siblings married people who graduated high school in Utah. Which is funny because not of all of them met their spouses in Utah. We are so Mormon. Everyone in my graduating class from High School was right. :/ But you know what that means all the spouse, all 7 of them married people who grew up in states other than then ones they grew up in. Its inevitable that some of my kids will married kids from other places. Our roots aren't that strong. Brent was not raised around his grandparents, I'm third generation military (well not exactly because Brent isn't military, but two of my brothers! I count them!) Which is what I want for my kids, freedom. My biggest fear in staying in Colorado too long is my children won't feel like they can move any where in the world they want. I never want them to feel like they have to stay in a place, because its comfortable, or because they have friends there, or because that's where their family is.
By the way I would rather put on wedding receptions for my children than not. But its just so much work for a couple of hours!

My third child turned three.

My baby boy finally had a birthday in which is mom was not sick! Hooray. Last week during his birthday we also happened to be at grammy's. He had to have an H plate. My baby boy is the three year old. Get over it. Its just life because he is the momma's boy. Although I have to find a new name for him. I potty trained him this week, and he is officially a big boy now. He stays up with the big people instead of going to be with Ikey. (His idea definitely not mine.) Yes, Turbo really does call his little brother Ikey, that or Ike. I'm not sure I hear him say anything else.

He wanted another doggy cake. But I said no, mostly because I like to do different cakes every year. This year did not disappoint. Although he did need a dog on his cake. Which then ended up also meaning a bald eagle bigger than the cars needed to be on the cake. Its a 3 cake not an 8.  At least the bald eagle was only 2 inches tall unlike the 8 inch tall one he was trying to convince me to buy. Not only did I think it would swish the cake it was three times the price.

I modeled it off of cakes I'd seen online. My daughter said mine looked better. I asked because the secret ingredient was love? (because I assure you mine did not look better) She hugged me as she exclaimed yes. Then told Grammy about her cake when she turned 1.

The next day we went to the candy story with Grammy and Grandpa. It was a dream come true! The candy store was our experience birthday activity. I want to have experiences for birthdays even if they end up being more money than presents. So we don't have more and more stuff. He still got presents, because gosh golly he's only three. But I did spent less than $20 on them.

It was actually like the cutest candy store I've ever been in. 

Wedding Guilt

A year ago at Back to School night, I met the parents of one of my daughter's admires. With three brothers and a personality as tough as nails, she gets along great with boys even if she tells me she only wants friends who are girls. She spent 3/4 of the kindergarten school year at a table where she was the only girl. She complained once or twice to me. I causally mentioned it to the teacher at one point, she hadn't even realized because she said Nat was thriving at the table, and kept all those boys in shape. I had no doubt, she is ready to rule the world.
One of the little boys would come over for playdates. One day he told me, Nat is our best gal. Nick and I fight over her, we both want her to be only ours. HA HA HA Boys are so silly. Nat never even realized. She was confused why this little boy (the one who would come over) would poke her at circle time.

Anyway I've totally digressed. Back to back to school night. So I met Nick's parents. As we were talking they said they had three boys, and I said I had three boys and Nat. The mom's eyes lighted up and said oh she is so lucky. She will have the biggest wedding ever.
....
{Crickets} I had no idea what to say, I had never given one lick of thought to my daughter's wedding. Over the pursing weeks and months I might have borderline panicked thinking about this said huge wedding I had to plan.

Why I worried about something 20 years in the future is beyond me. Years ago when I lived by my grandma she told me I was wishing my children's lives away. Yes, I have a tendency to panic about the passing of time. Sometimes I wish I still lived by her so she could tell me that again.

But let me tell you I was a most unhelpful bride in planning my wedding. I had no interest in picking colors, even though I was eventually compelled to pick some. I'm not sure I had a theme at all, since both receptions had different ones. I told my mom I'd rather have a brand new vacuum then a wedding cake for the reception my parents put on. I had no bridesmaids. I cared about five things. My wedding dress, my husband's suit and tie, my shoes, my bouquet for pictures, and pictures. Oh and I was pretty picky about my invites. My father had always taught me you don't get married for a party, you get married because its the right time and the right person. I made no decisions about the reception my mom planned I gave her and her friends free rein. Thank goodness for those ladies, maybe I'll call them in 15-25 years. I gave my husband's family very little guidance much to their exasperation. I would like to say I was 20 and immature, but even if it was happening next month I probably still wouldn't care.

My sister got married before me, near the end of the wedding planning for her, my dad said I'll pay you to elope. I said deal. My mother scowled at us and rescinded the deal.

I wondered who would plan my daughter's wedding for me in 20 years. I was so worried. Then this summer I realized my daughter and have completely different style. I pick something for in the store and she shakes her head in disgust. She likes nothing I like suggest. So yeah I think she'll be fine planning her wedding. I'm not even sure she'll let me pick the dress I wear. I think my aunt said it best, all I care about is my name is spelled correctly as far as wedding plans for my children go.

But there is another problem. The other week I was talking with my mom and husband. Out of the blue I said, "I'm starting to think I don't like planning parties". Apparently they've both always known this about me and shared a chuckle that I'm just now figuring it out. If the mother of the bride hates planning parties what to do you do?

There is a popular meme on Pinterest that says, I think everyone who got married before pinterest should get a do over. I when I see it I wonder why I'm even on pinterest if that a requirement?

Although I do love a good party and enjoy going to weddings.

No Colombia

Two weeks ago we heard we couldn't move to Colombia for a few months. Legal had to be the buzz kill. But its all good. About a month ago it just started to not feel right.
Which I thought was odd, because it had totally been right before. But what Brent had been saying for months, is I don't know if we are suppose to move or just prepare to move.
Apparently just prepare.
When Brent told me it was a no, I told him he needed to text our neighbor. Our next door neighbor is renting, and has been looking for a house in the area. We "showed" our house to him twice, we had agreed on a price, we hadn't done anything official or legal yet, but he stopped looking and said just let me know by September when my lease is up. So we had a soft offer. I felt terrible that we had to back out of our very soft deal.
We were out of town at the time, and I was nervous to come back because in the past we've been on good terms with him. His little boy plays with Nat, and my baby refuses to not wander in his driveway. (Pray we get good renters next to us next time.)
Last night we talked to him on our front lawns. Brent said, hey, I feel really bad we had to back out. He said, oh no worries. Actually it was freaky what happened. Not an hour after I got your message, another neighbor (He lives two houses down in the other direction) called me. He said we've decided to move, are you interested in buying our house? So now its all official, he bought the house which is on our street. We only told him no two weeks ago.
The interesting thing I've never got the impression he is terribly religious, but you could tell he was trying to make sense of it happening so seamless. In fact, I might have not thought a lot about his story if he wouldn't have been so shocked. He brought it up multiple times how it couldn't be a coincidence and how it was obviously meant to be. Since both conversations happened the same afternoon.
If it wasn't for his bafflement, I might have not though anything about it but now I've been thinking about it a lot. Sometimes I think staying in our house its a terribly boring plan, but that conversation was the last nail I needed in the coffin to tell me this is where my family is suppose to be this year.*
That being said, I also KNOW we needed to go down the path to plan to move to Colombia. Its weird that both choices were so right at the specific time.
Lastly, in total weirdness. The family that is moving, is moving to the same area of town we thought we would buy our next house in if we had the opportunity to go abroad.

 *I think it seems boring being here another year, but I'm not actually complaining. I like my mortgage as far as mortgages go, I like my yard, my trees, my swingset, my kitchen, less stuff, our neighborhood, our elementary school, our friends, our friends from school, our community (although I wouldn't mind a few more liberal friends), my husband's commute, the weather, the views, less stuff in the garage. Its just I never expected to be at the same elementary school going on our 5th year. Soon I might even like my kitchen chairs.

Falling into a Pit

I'm teaching my son's Sunday school class on Sunday. Once I sub, I will have subbed in everyone of my four children's church classes this summer. Never been able to say that before. 

Anyway, the lesson is on the Atonement. It references is an analogy that I've heard since I was my son's age in Primary, about man walking into a pit and a passerby helps him out. 

I like the version Leo McGarry tells in the TV show West Wing better:

"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.

"A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

"Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on

"Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'"

Its in reference to substance abuse, but it really hit a chord with me because of depression, and I'll be honest the more I read about mental health the more I think there really isn't much of a difference. 

There is really nothing more valuable that a friend say, "Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out." Whether that friend is Jesus Christ or someone in this world. I guess I would say preferable both. Thankfully I had multiple people helping me out.