30 Weeks

I'm 31 weeks, but on Sunday I was still 30.  Am I the only one that thinks this whole week counting is silly?  What if you deliver at 38 weeks, and someone else always delivers at 41, saying you are 30 weeks is silly.  Anyway, here I am, this baby is hiding. 

 I'm positive if he would move so my belly would pop out I would be more comfortable.  I can often feel him kick me in the back.  I don't know if its because he is hiding so far in me, or if its because my placenta isn't behind him to soften the blow.  I can pretty much feel him kick everywhere, in my hip bones, in my ribs, in my back, he is definitely filling up the space, but because of the whole placenta thing (posterior meaning its next to my belly button) the family doesn't get to see him or feel him much.  
He is also seems to be a very strong baby, but maybe I just have a bad memory.  
Also just for the record I've gained 30 lbs already, and still have another 9 weeks.  It makes me worried he will be bigger than my other two.  I gained a total of 30 pounds at 40 weeks with Nan, and 40 pounds with J at 40 weeks, and they were both exactly 7 and half pounds.  Then again, my weight hasn't change in the last three weeks, so who knows. 
I've been wearing glasses straight for two weeks, because I'm eyes are so itchy from allergies. I don't think my allergies have been this bad, in at least 12 years.  

Bored

When my son was three, I was terrified when he told me he was bored.  I was sure I was a failure.  Then I read a book, I think it was A Nation of Wimps, it revolutionized the way I viewed motherhood. (I know I read A Nation of Wimps in that time period but I'm not sure if it was a different book, that told me it was good for kids to get bored, so they could fix the situation.) My child needs to be bored, he needs to figure out what to do after he is bored.
Today was a prime example.  We were doing an activity, and it was coming to an end.  They were pretty much done, and their attention spans were up.
Nan started crying that we weren't going to anyone's house today.
J told me he is bored with the summer, and done with "our school" (I'm not sure where that phrase came from).  I told him he had 10 weeks left.
Five minutes later, they were in an elaborate world of whatever they do together, that involves moving all their favorite toys, through the whole house, and a ship made of pillows.
Sure normally it take longer than 5 minutes of boredom to come up with a game but the point is, I think they should be bored, so it doesn't always take forever to become un-bored. I also have no problem telling my children they are not allowed to follow me when I leave the room because they are crying that they are bored.

Owning

Remember how I told you that I wasn't happy for a long time that I bought my house?  That I really wanted to rent, and I didn't want the responsibility of home ownership?  And how about six months ago I learned to embrace my house, and learned to appreciate it?
Well something else happened, we've passed our year mark.  School is out for the summer, and we have now gone to church here long enough to see many friends move out of their rental houses.  (We live in a big rental market.)  Oh yes, now I love owning my house.  If we would have rented we would be preparing to move to another rental I'm sure of it, its just how my husband rolls. I love my house.
Especially after my fourth vacation during this pregnant.  Especially being gone for 10 days, I walked backed in, and it was my house.  That being said, if I had the cash I could easily drop 10K on home improvement projects.

P.S. The temperature outside dropped yesterday, and has stayed down.  Its so lovely living somewhere that doesn't stay hot. It dropped 20 degrees, 70 is a wonderful temperature for the summer, especially when I'm pregnant.
The other day my six year old asked me, "mom are you hotter than everyone else because you have a baby in you?"  "Yes, indeed that is the reason."  "So like you have two people's heat instead of one?"  I was surprised at the whole conversation.

Miserable

Tonight at dinner I asked my husband am I always this miserable when I'm in my last trimester?
Yes, and  you asked me that last night.
I said, no I mean in previous pregnancies have I always been this uncomfortable?
All except for the first, because you didn't have any previous pregnancies.
I really was not in the mood to play word/mind games, so I said no, I just remember I was extremely uncomfortable during the first pregnancy in the last trimester.  Remember I couldn't bend over the sink to the dishes.
I then remembered all sorts of miserable memories from my first pregnancy during the last trimester.
I occasionally feel ungrateful that I feel so miserable. But mostly I feel miserable.
It doesn't help that I've had the worst allergies this year that I've had in more than a decade.
I had all these great plans of things I was going to accomplish before the baby came, I'm not sure how much is going to get done, I just feel too tired and uncomfortable to get much done. I thought we could still do fun things during the summer as long as they didn't require a ton of physical stress, but as things are looking now, we are barely getting our grocery shopping done, and showing up for park days.
I'm barely keeping up on the house and cooking, I think its time to go back to my thought process during the first trimester.  If I feel my family five nights a week I'm a success.  The problem is now, its hot.  Everything seems worse when its hot.
Sadly my kids don't even realize their summer is lame, they are so use to me being lame, they don't even ask anymore.  Sad day, maybe next summer.
We discussed this at playgroup. The Lord knows we are going to miserable, uncomfortable, sick, or something not pleasant during pregnancy, yet he asks us to be fruitful and multiple the earth.  He must be ok with us not being fun moms all the time, because we couldn't be pregnant if we were always suppose to be fun.
Either fun or fruitful, but not both the same year.
I have to say, I'm fondly looking forward to christmas, I should be back by then.  It seems like I can be fun again, after the baby is sleeping normal.  It might come as soon as Halloween.  But then I have this fear in the back of my head, I haven't gotten ever gotten postpartum depression, but I have gotten depression at some other time from the hormones, with the previous two.  I wonder in fear when will it hit.
But then I go back to feeling miserable, plus my eyes itch, and its hot. Pray for a rain storm for me.

Can't Remember

My daughter will be three years old and eight months old, or she will be four months shy of four years old, when her baby brother is born.
You know what this means?
It means, I have no idea what it will be like to have a baby.  I know I've had two, I vaguely remember them as babies.  But overall I have no idea what you do with a baby.  People ask me all the time are you ready?  I wonder what they mean?  Am I ready to get this baby out of me, almost I'm terribly uncomfortable.  Am I ready to have another baby?  I don't know, I can't remember what it means to have a baby.  I know we'll pick it up instantly, but overall I can't remember babies.  Its like this pregnancy, I knew pregnancy was miserable, but everything was oh yeah, I forgot this happened.  People ask me if I have baby clothes, yes, but how do I know if they are what I need. I can't remember what babies actually wear.
Ever since I got pregnant I have watched people with babies thinking hmm, that's what you do.  Then again it doesn't help that I spent the previous two years completely ignoring babies.
I figure babies are like riding a bike, so I'm not concerned, I just never know what to say when people ask about me being ready.  We aren't treating this like a first baby, first babies you want to be completely prepared, this baby, we're like ehh, we'll figure it out, there something somewhere in this house for him.  We have the carseat and some clothes what else do you need right? Plus soon we are getting a car so we can drive all our kids at the same time. We'll be super prepared after that. Especially because we still have a dozen or so burp clothes; we have very spitty babies.

Full Moon

I figured baby #3 would come on the full moon. The first two did.  The second was the full moon, and the first was a few days after since it took a few days to birth him, it was about as close as he could get.  I looked up the full moon date. August 1st and August 31st. My due date is the 16th. I'm pretty sure he is not being born near a full moon.  Bizarrely this does not concern me, which is extremely uncharacteristic for me. I've also wondered if this might mean the hospital won't be over book when I deliver, which might be nice. My first two children were also born during snowstorms. Which means there was absolutely no extra rooms.  Although we have lots of light summer snow, and early fall snow, I doubt it will snow in August, and if it does it won't be a snowstorm.  Maybe a rainstorm... Nonetheless I'm not concerned.
I sort of wondered why it didn't concerned me, maybe because I use to think being induced would be the worst thing in the world.  Plus going late with my son WAS the worst thing in the world, the last thing I wanted was to wait to be induced.  My daughter's pregnancy changed my perspective I was just so relieved she wasn't early or preemie or anything else, that I didn't care she was late. Plus I learned who cares what medical intervention there is as long as we are healthy. Now with this baby, I think actually being induced sounds nice.  I've had pitocin for the other two, it sounds nice to go in and get hooked up on pitocin without dealing with all the contractions that aren't actually progressing.

Vacation

I've realized there is four types of people:

1. People who don't go on vacation
2. People who go on getaway destination vacations
3. People who drive to families houses
4. And those who save for religious travel 

I've never met people in the last category but I'm sure they exist because I've heard many stories of those people.  Not to mention the internet seems to think millions of people travel to Mecca each year.
One day my husband plans on being like #2.  But instead we are just the people who are #3.  I've decided I'm ok with that, for one, my children love cousins, and I think family is one of the most important things in this world.  For two we are frugal people, if it gives my kids a vacation, and doesn't add months on my future car payment, I'm good with that.  (We have to buy a family car next month, we can't fit a third child in my car.) And overall life is all about perspective, I'm just glad we aren't the first category of people.  We just finished our fourth car trip since my pregnancy started.  I'm about all traveled out.  We didn't make it to Ecuador sans kids before the baby came, but really like I said, I'm ok with that because we have more money for the car now, less to pay interest on.  Plus I'm not thirty yet, I've got plenty of time to make it to Ecuador in the prime of my life.