Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The rest of a be continued

To finish a post I wrote almost  a year and half ago, here are my baby nicknames.
My first baby is- the reason I get up in the morning
My daughter is- my miracle baby
My third was- our happy baby (Our joyous baby, we didn't know having a baby in the house could be so fun, we finally understood why people loved having babies around.)
My last baby, I kept wondering who he was, what he emotionally meant to me as a baby. Then a few months ago I figured it out. But I thought it was embarrassing.
Now I don't, I've accepted it for what is, when he came and who is he.

He is my last-born- born in the wilderness of mine afflictions.

You might recognize that I borrowed that phrase from Lehi. It speaks truth to me. I don't think Lehi loved his children who were born in the wilderness any less than his other children. Jacob went on to be a prophet, so being born during a great trial doesn't make you any less of a person. Lehi said, of Joseph, " the days of my greatest sorrow did thy mother bear thee... may the Lord bless thee forever (2 Nephi 3)." Sure my last baby was not literally born in the wilderness but he was a baby at an extremely hard time in my life, probably the hardest. He was definitely born in the wilderness of my afflictions. As you know, you've read all about my struggles th2 past two years.

But as time goes on, I think I love and appreciate him more, knowing he came right before such a hard time. Maybe that is the reason he was born giving the best hugs in the world.
And now he is two. (These picture are all old, all before his first birthday.)

This morning at breakfast his two oldest siblings were on the verge of tears thinking about him turning 3 next year. They don't want him to grow up, they want a baby to love forever, to love them forever. I listened sympathetically to their words, hugging their 2 year old brother, he was visibly upset as they were talking, but I guess I should have said, enjoy him while he is 2, you have a whole YEAR with him at that age. I don't think he was upset that he is growing up, I think their sadness they were directing at him was upsetting him.

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