Monday, February 8, 2016

Potty Training in August

I realized I never wrote my obligatory potty training post back in August.
Last week my sister called for potty training tips. Funny, since she has potty trained two kids. But I get it, I hate potty training. Plus I did it more recently then her.
Then I remembered I never wrote this post, and I really did want to.

I potty trained my other kids in the summer of being 2. Since they were winter birthdays, it worked. My son was about 2 and quarter and my daughter was full on two and half or more. I was in my first trimester with my son and it was mostly a nightmare. My daughter had an older brother that was potty trained and all her friends were 6 months or more older than her and all potty trained so it went as well as could hoped.

My third child, he was not potty trained at 2, he is a summer birthday, had a baby brother when he was two and a mom with depression. That was never going to happen. He had no idea what was going on with his bladder and bowels forever, it was a huge blessing. He never knew if his diaper was wet, dirty or dry. Literally he would come to be screaming he was messy and his diaper would be bone dry. I thanked my lucky stars every time he had no idea what was going on because that meant I didn't have to feel guilty I wasn't potty training him. I definitely had no plans of potty training while I was breastfeeding his baby brother.

Then at 2 and 3/4ers something magical happened, he just seemed to over night know what was happening in his diaper. He soon turned 3. I decided I did want him potty trained before his siblings went to school it just seemed easier if I didn't have to go to pick up or make lunches at 8 am. We canceled our pool pass before the summer was over, so we would have no where to be. My husband actually went on a High Low Lame Adventure and took the 9 year old brother with him.

I was all prepped. I bought 100% juice and soda.
(With my first kid I bought juice blends and it never made him have to pee, a week or two into it, I found out only 100% juice got things moving for him.)

Also salty snacks, can make them thirsty.

I made a list of activities we could do in the kitchen.
I can't remember the list, but I made a list and had everything prepped where I could get it quickly.
The tablet so we could watch tv

I pulled out towels

I obviously had a mini toilet (a red car one!), lots of underwear. Flushable wipes

I didn't leave the kitchen for two days, I sat on a folded towel for two days as we played an potty trained. I make crock pot dinners while he was taking a nap.

As I was prepping, I think I fast the weekend I started. I had an epiphany. No doubt a true epiphany. Before I potty trained my first child, I read a book about potty training in a day. It was written by someone who said this method can work on anyone, we know it can, because we have potty trained many older handicapped individuals using this method. Since it worked for us it can clearly work for your toddler. Because of the way the book was written I got it my mind, using a diaper is a problem is and we will cure it out of your child.
The whole time I was trying to  "fix" my child, which is utter crap, and completely wrong. There is nothing wrong with a 2 year old that uses a diaper.

With my second I gave away the book, and listened to my sister in law, who said, just explain what you are doing, and set the timer for them to sit on the potty.

With my third, I fasted and received my epiphany. This is my chance to do nothing but love this child for week. Nothing is on my list of to do, but love this child. It is my opportunity to not fix him, but help him on the next step on his mortal progression.

I told my older children, this is Turbo's week to be my center of attention, I know you don't remember when you were potty trained but you got that chance too. (We did look up pictures of them potty training.) There are only two things you can do this week. Drink juice and play with Turbo, or play in your rooms quietly. (During his nap I gave them attention instead of ignoring them during nap time.) You don't get to decided what we do, Turbo does. This week is all about him no one else, this is his chance.

I don't know if I got lucky, if he was older, or if my change in perspective made all the change.
So. Much. Easier than any time before. I still set the timer and tried every time it went off.

I guess we'll get to see this coming August when I potty train the next. He'll be 2 and half, I like to potty train in the summer, when my house isn't cold. I think my youngest will be ready. He pretty much knows whats happening in his pants, but I'm putting it off. He's funny, he'll stand in front of the potty with his pants on yelling because he can't pee like this brother.

Its actually helped parenting perspective, I stopped trying to fix my children's annoying habits and inabilities to helping them in their mortal progression.

Lastly, I have learned how to poop train, after all these years. #tmi
I have found most books gloss over poop training. Which became a huge problem for most of my children. The book says, the child will learn how to poop in the toilet just like they pee. Yeah, right, it never worked like that for me.
This is what a doctor taught me:
At lunch you feed the child prunes, raisins, some sort of dried fruit. If your child isn't constipated I wouldn't recommend prunes, but if they are, and they are willing to eat "big raisins" its a great place to start. As is unfiltered apple juice. So you fiber them up, then while you are cooking dinner EVERYDAY you say, oh, its time to try and go poop. You sit them on the toilet and have them stay for 10 minutes (unless they go faster). Within less then a week, they should be regular and have a bowel movement everyday before dinner.
I have used this method multiple times, it works like a charm. (Pretty much anytime something big changes in the family, whether a new baby or something else, I loose track of life and someone stops going regularly.) As far as I can tell a young child will never be able to stay dry during naps and bed if they are constipated. We still have wet sheets once and a while, but anytime a child has reverted and started regularly wetting the bed, it turns out they are constipated. Also I will say, even if I child goes daily they could still be constipated. Make sure they are actually able to empty their bowels (ie the need for more fiber). Constipation puts pressure on a bladder and makes it weak. If this has become a chronic problem then it will take a while after the child becomes regular for their bladder to regain bladder strength. The bladder is muscle and if it has been weaken for an extended period of time, it will be take time to regain strength.
Lastly, if you and your child are struggling with this, I would take a look at their diet. My almost 2 year old was painfully constipated. We were doing apple juice and dried fruit, and still he would only go every couple of days, and when he would try to fill his diaper he would be in tears. I told my husband I don't know what to do, beyond a trying a laxative. He replied, you don't? I said no, do you have any ideas? He said, yeah, take away all the crackers. He was right, we moved all the crackers where the baby couldn't reach, then when while I was in the shower, when his siblings where eating breakfast in the morning, instead of filling up on crackers he started eating cereal. Overnight our problem was gone. Now he is regular as his older brother, which means multiple times a day, which may or may not be improvement as the mom. But I'm relieved he isn't crying anymore.
Speaking of breakfast if this is a struggle, I would cut out sugary cereals. My children now rarely get anything but "healthy" fibrous cereals. In the beginning they complain, but they get use to it after a week. Cheerios, Honey Nut Cheerios, Shredded Wheat, Honey Bunches of Oats, there are plenty of "healthy" fibrous cereals that still have a sweet taste. The best part of our family is they get fuller quicker with the healthier cereals. Also feed them more produce for snacks less processed food that comes from a box, even if the box claims its healthy.

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