For months I've been questioning why I had to go through postpartum depression. I'm not sure why I can't just accept it. But I'm not. Yesterday I had the opportunity to listen to Sheri Dew speak in person her message was questions are good. Referencing Enos it can cause us the wrestle with the spirit. While in the meeting, I thought I understood my trial. When I'm in a setting where I am feeling the spirit strong I start to understand, when I go back to the mundane life I don't. It's because when I was in the depths of depression I knew the spirit in a more intimate level than more normal life. My brain was too sick for any logical thought and so it was so easy to recognize the spirit. Moments when something said feed your children cereal. That was the Holy Ghost, taking care of my family. Because honestly there were times I was completely unable to. At the time I was confused where those thoughts where coming from because I KNEW they were not mine. Coming out on the other side, I could look back and recognize who it was. This is all going to take more of a wrestle, I need more understanding, and eventually the Lord will give it to me. It may take awhile and it will apparently be a lot of work.