First Day

Today was the first day of preschool.  (Yes, I let my son dress himself, I try to guide him, but he has the ultimate decision. We favor independence in this house.)

There is are so many thoughts swirling in my head. Number one I hope I can survive driving him, and picking him up everyday four days a week.  Here he is in front of his school. With his get to know you sheet.  I noticed most of the other ones were colored by moms, completely done by moms.  Now there was a lot of writing, so I had to do a lot, but other than the writing, I made him do it himself.  He told me what to write, he colored it.  I'm not the mom that finishes a craft her child starts, or tells him how to do it.  He has free range over his creations, he has his own markers, glue, scissors, paper, he is free to create whatever he wants whenever he wants.

Why we picked preschool.....
(like I said so many thoughts)
  All the school age cousins on one side are homeschool, all the aunts but one on the other side have been school teachers, or will be. Long before my husband and I had a kid, we started talking about what we would do with our kids, actually before we got married, before we dated we discussed the pro cons of both sides.  No matter what we chose we would be contrary to one side.  We have hardly made an over-arching decision for all our kids, but right now its the best for J to be in school.  For a multitude of reasons:

1. I need deadlines, I'm not proactive on my own, my child would be dumber than a rock at 15, if I didn't have the deadlines school provides.  In the last week, we have done more school at home than we have in months. 
2. I felt like my son would benefit from the social interaction
3. My son is like me, he struggles learning from his mom.  If mom tries to teach it, you whine, fuss, cry, complain, anything but a positive learning experience. Dad, another teacher, anyone else can teach it, but not mom, its just too hard when mom teaches.  I feel bad that I was so difficult with my mom.  But I recognize the behavior coming out of my son.  Just like my mom paid a different piano teacher for me, I think it would be the best for my son to have another teacher. 
4. I love having one on one time with my toddler, I forgot, how fun it was to spend one on one time with J when he was a toddler, I think Nan and I will really enjoy our time while J is at school.  Although today, Nan cried as we left J.
5. I was excited to find a reasonably priced co-op preschool, I have to go help out in the classroom, and I  am excited to.  I plan on being very involved in my son's education, I just don't want to be in-charge of a classroom.
6. What it comes down, people have horror stories about public school, people have horror stories about home school. Lots are very opinionated on either side.  But most students, in most places seem to be fine no matter their education source. You hear the horror stories more than success. Its individual choice for each person, each family, each child.  Public school did not fail me, it helped my mom find the resources she needed for me-- her dyslexic child.  I had many teachers, who spent a lot extra time with me to help me succeed.  It was a teacher that first recognized my learning problem.
7. I'm having a bit of buyers remorse, I accidentally signed my son up for the elementary school not closest to our house, its close, just not where the rest of the neighborhood attends.  But for preschool they don't care what school you go to, in comparison to where you live. But every time I see his teacher interact with him, I know I made a good decision.
8. Along with that, the children were released one at a time today.  J was released last, the teacher came out, and whispered, he is really smart.  I said I know, it overwhelms my husband and I, we don't know what to do.  She said, do nothing just enjoy it.  I'll work on some extra stuff for him, so he is challenged, he very gifted.  I'm sure most parents would swell with pride over that, but not me, I well up with confusion and fear.  I am not gift (despite what my parents might tell you), I was never in gifted classrooms, I think I could handle a behavioral problem, or a learning disability more easily.  That's more my territory.  I honestly am overwhelmed a child who when asked what starts with O, says, bulldozer, no I replied thats a Buh, Buh, B.  Oh, you're right, O is in the middle, and then makes hand gestures to show where the o would be in bulldozer.  Or the child, the spent five minutes last night teaching me all about geyser.  (He learned it online, he told me.)
9. But I appreciate a teacher who noticed.  I appreciate a teacher, who will help him feel challenged, I appreciate a classroom to send him to where he can go to be challenged.  Last winter after our Joyschool preschool fell apart, he cried everyday for a long time, because it was over.  He has been asking me since he before he turned three when he gets to go to school.  It was time, and it will be nice not to have my four year old tell me all winter that he is bored.
10. I have a sister in law, who from time to time on her blog, shares her appreciation for teachers who have worked with her child over the years. Through her blog, I too was glad my nephew had great people in his life. Out of all the things for our tax money on, I am support education. For all the things that they could spend our tax dollars on, I value public libraries, parks, schools, teachers, early intervention programs the most. (But preferably de-centralized, I love our federal system) Sure roads are important how else would we use those great resources for children without them, and yeah I guess we need a national defense so our children are also safe to go to school. But the thing that I think is most worrisome is the lack of funding for science endowments.  And all those children who do have access to great teachers and schools.  (I also find it important to feed poor children so they can learn.) Anyway, I got off topic. 
11.  I have only met my son's teacher twice, but I too am glad he has a great teacher. I can tell she is.  Because I like everyone else in the world had crappy teachers, but luckily I rarely remember them, I only remember the great teachers.  

Like I said, Nan and I enjoyed some one on one time, we ran some errands, went for a walk, checked out a man made pond, and played outside.

Not to mention, my children take turns being the lowest common denominator, when it comes to friends and play dates, Nan is the lowest.  But luckily because of the co-op, I will have to ask my friend who has a daughter, a day younger than N to watch her. She will get to go play with kids her age, instead of four year olds. Yes, this might be a good year for all.  After having a colicy newborn one winter, then surviving year one of the MBA the next winter, with a failed joyschool, we are in need of a good winter.  I have high hopes, and with the high hopes hopefully the second year of the MBA will be easier than last.

Texas

We went to Texas, just the kids and I, we made hubby stay home and work and go to school.

The kids had a grand time with their grandparents.  How did Grandpa know Nan loves to watch tv and cuddle, not to mention he added an iphone to the mix, what could be better for baby Nan.  This is grandpa that everyone tells me Nan looks like.

Did I mention grammy's house is so fun. 

If you go to Texas, you of course have to go to Sonic.  Maybe even twice!

Waiting to go swim.

Hooray for swimming.

Not sure why my kids decided to lay down on the tile floor after swimming.  Nothing like warming up under the a/c vent.

My son scaling the wall.

Hooray for TV time, apparently my kids thought Texas in the summer was cold.

Second Cousin Evie came to play.  These girls did a lot of parallel play and seemed to enjoy each others company.  I always thought Evie was super much older than Nan, but turns out they were born in the same year.  Then again, Evie was born before I got pregnant, it only takes 9 out of 12 months to cook.

My son instituted penny hunts, and grammy obliged. 

Let's not forget the trucks, they are super fun.

Say, "Ice Cream Top" , that's J's new picture phrase. Here we are leaving G and G at the airport.

If you are wondering why all the pictures were taken at my parent's house, and why my children did nothing other than play outside and go to sonic, it would because I spent half the time sick.

When we got home, we found a daddy with a beard.

Oh we missed him so.  The day before we left I told J I missed Daddy, and was excited to see him tomorrow.  Nan started squawking at me, until I looked at her.  She was emphatically shaking her head yes in agreement, she missed her daddy too.

hallelujah antibiotics

Sunday night I was too sick to join my children in their evening prayers, my father told me that my four year old son prayed, that the wicked would be super sick, and we would be super healthy.   I can only assume that meant, get mama well, because she isn't wicked.  He has been praying for days that we would all be super healthy, because well who wants their mom sick. My son has learned the lesson, bad things happen to good people. Through prays mixed with antibiotics I have made a miraculous recovery.
Miraculous is definitely the word I was looking for, I felt so terrible on Sunday, the last time I remember feeling that terrible was the first time I was in labor.  Or when I (along with my husband and child) got the stomach flu when said child was 10 months old.  That was pretty bad too, but I think this staph was worse than the stomach flu, pain wise. I'm crude, morbid, and easily excitable, so I told my mother while in the depths of despair before I had been to the doctor, (by the way sorry for all you sensitive souls). I told her that I didn't think I was going to make it. I told her I thought she was going to be able to take care of my chidren just fine.  But then I started to think, poor Brent, he would be so lonely.  I told her just that too, she said, well maybe for his sake you should try to hold on. (She has been my mother for almost 26 years, she mostly ignores my antics, but sometimes she can't resist and bring me back to logical life.) I thought about my poor husband, and so I pulled myself together to go to the E-care center.  I have strep throat, I in all my memories I have never had strep throat, nor in my father's, but maybe just maybe I had it as a very small child, my mother's memories aren't that clear. Never in all my life have I been so thankful for antibiotics, seriously.  I'm not that big of a fan of antibotics, yes, they are needed in some cases, but only in some, like steph throat, or staph infection.  Yes, I was glad the antibotics stop the staph from entering my heart, like the doctor feared, but the staph I had was not painful, just slightly itchy.  The strep I had, was PAINFUL, oh my goodness, I love my antibotics, I gladly wake up at 2 am, to take them again.
But that does not mean I don't think they are anything short of a miracle.

I've learned some lessons from all this:

1. Don't say you don't like help.  Don't say, the hardest part of the MBA for me, is that I have to allow people in the church to serve me, I would much rather be on the other end of things. Because life just might throw you a hard ball, and then you really can't take care of your children, for 2-3 days, because you physically can't.
2. I'm sure glad I'm a stay at home mom.  There was nothing sadder that hearing my Nan, say, Ma Ma Ma, all the time, she missed me.  It would be so sad to miss so much.
3. I should trust my instincts.  I knew I needed to go to the doctor by about 10 am on Sunday Morning, but yet for whatever reason I didn't trust my instincts, it was probably nearly 5 before I saw one.  I could have been on antibiotics earlier hours!
4. The Lord does answer prayers, my father gave me a blessing Saturday night because I slept so poorly on Friday, I did not sleep well on Saturday, but I slept better.  Much BETTER, and that is the point! I had the faith. Especially, since I was way sicker Sunday, that Saturday, so I should have slept worse.
5. If I could make it through this weekend of strep, I can make it through this next year of the MBA, some might think that sounds a little dramatic, but seriously, this weekend of strep was seriously as bad as labor.  Just like in the hospital, the nurse at the insta care place asked me to rate my pain level on a scale to 1 to 10, I said 7, seriously it was that bad. When I'm in labor, I don't know if I ever go past a 8, seriously my strep was that bad.  
6. My husband misses me.  Oh course he misses me, but my husband is pretty steady, and doesn't show emotion, so yes, I know he misses me, but he doesn't show it.  Until something like this happens, then I can hear the concern in his voice.  So yes, I would have rather been not sick, than hear he misses me, but hey lets look at the bright side.  He misses me.  I miss him.

Anyway, I'm getting better, I'm loving my antibiotics.  I'm no longer feverish, I stopped thinking Texas was hot around last Thursday, and now I'm back to thinking its hot.  I'll join you dad when you turn down the a/c.  Yes, for a few days, I was sleeping with quilts on top of me, during August is Texas, I was definitely feverish.
Luckily no one else we know got the Strep, not my children, or anyone, and that is nothing short of a miracle. 

School Holiday

My husband had three or four weeks off of school in August.  Life was quite dreamy, as you know we went camping multiple times, we spend week nights together, we did nothing and everything all at the same time.  It was glorious. But when the vacation from school started, I was extremely nervous, and apprehensive, I was worried about Fall Semester starting again, I didn't think I could handle another year of what last year was.  Luckily the vacation started with a Fast sunday, so I was totally able to enjoy vacation, I gave away my apprehension and enjoyed our couple of weeks of freedom.
Near the end of of the break from school, my husband went canoeing with his friend, their dads, and a scout troop.  Normally when my husband is out of town, we barely survive we hold on for dear life and he comes back and everything falls apart.
But not this time!  We barely even missed him. That sounds bad, but its not, we missed him, sometimes I felt lonely for his missing being in our lives, but it was only 4 days, and we didn't pine, although we might have whined.  There was only one time I thought I couldn't handle it, and that was when we were 30 minutes late to playgroup in the park, and my son was crying screaming at me because he skinned his knee and I didn't have a bandaid. But whether or not he was out of town or not, he wouldn't have been in the park, soo...
Anyway the point is we totally survived, we did more than survived, we lived.  We had fun even without him, we never needed to go eat a McDonalds.  Sure I bought two expensive books, I seem to have no financial self control without him around, I go shopping to make me miss him less, I guess?
But the point of all this, poorly written emotion, is I will totally be able to survive the second and last year of the MBA. 
Life is good.
Sort of, Brent has three classes, instead of two the first five weeks of the semester, each day he came home from his classes, for three days in a row and told me, its going to be a hard semester.  Each day I got tireder and tiredered.  But what I have going for me, is I'm not nursing, I'm not going to be weaning, and so my hormones should stay regular.  More information that you wanted?  Just keeping it real.
But after that canoeing trip, I know I can survive!

Me Equals L

I've pretty much always been obsessed with my initials, more so than my actual names.  I love initials, so much so, that I care more about my children's initials when I am pregnant than their name.
So of course as initial jewelry became trendy I thought it would be great to own some.  I never thought it was affordable.  (Actually I have picked up a few affordable L necklaces over the years, but none the less, a girl can always have more glam. Plus some have gone the way of dust, so I always need more.)  I went to a craft fair the other day, and hoped I would fine a booth with such, but no.  Lots of other grungy trendy right now, pendants, but no monogram pendants.  Unfortuantely I don't know how silversmith, although I would love to learn, to take a class, but at this point no such skills, so I was thinking about other skills I have to make something.
When I decided to look at etsy, just to think longingly about such fashion.  When low and behold, I can afford people who don't have their own website.
Here are some of my favorites:
green wax seal monogram necklace
Another wax seal monogram
No-painted wax seal monogram necklace
Oh! and a fine silver wax seal necklace
Vintage Type Writer Key Monogram Necklace
Lets not forget a Scrabble Title
This isn't a monogram at all just super cute

I'm pretty fond of the wax seal monogram, I think I might save my online survey money for one, but at only $3 a survey, sometimes it takes a while to build my paypal supply.  It would be easy to spend a small fortune at etsy, so I usually only buy from what is in my paypal, never supplementing funds, to keep myself in moderation. 

BABIES

My baby is quickly becoming not a baby. But one thing for sure is she loves babies. She helped grandma babysit her cousin the other day. Nan's cousin, not grandma's.

She even let him kick her, and grab her face.

One Month

My birthday is in a month.  Last year I was worried, it stressed me out.  Now I'm not, I'm completely comfortable with my age.  I love it, I feel so comfortable.  25 is great, I look in the mirror in the morning, and think this is me, I might be too skinny, or too tall, or too something, but its who I am, and I don't have to worry about changing.  Its a great age for my marriage too, I have quirks, my husband has quirks, but its who we are, and we just know how to live with each other.  I think back to being a teenager, when everything is so awkward, and you feel so self conscious, but woo-whoo that is not my life anymore, I am who I am, and no amount of stressing will change, that I'm tall or that I always put my foot in my mouth.  I never cared, but really I really don't now.  Anyway, I just wanted to point out that 26 seems like a good year too, but 25 was great.