Sister Me

I am old fashion, I think small kids in Primary should call me Sister Last Name. I think the only people who are exempt from sister or brother as adults in Primary are the YSA who grew up in the ward. My parents expected me to call my church leaders Sister whatever, even if Sister whatever wanted to be known by first name and told me sister whatever was her mother in law. It made it slightly confusing for me I will admit, for some leaders that were stanch only first namers I ended up calling them by their first name to their face and by Sister whatever to my dad. At the time I thought my dad was being a fuddy duddy, but now I completely agree I will expect the same for my children. Even outside of church, I like to be known as Mrs. to someone younger than me, or Ma'am. No ma'am does not make me feel old, it is a sign of respect, of distinction or title, I first started being called ma'am as a 17 year old as an orthodontic assistant, many times the patients calling me ma'am were less than 5 years younger than me. I don't think ma'am has to do with age, but respect. I allow the neighbor kids to call me my first name, but I don't really like ito. But they are little, my last name is long, so... but I would rather J's mmmy than Lesli. Once my kids have friends that aren't just my friends' children I think I will try to get Mrs. out of them. I think we need respect in our society, like I said I'm an old fashion.
But back to the point at hand, that was a long digression.
I'm Sister Last name in primary, I have taught my five year olds how to say my name, we practiced it for many months so they would know how to say it. We giggled about how hard it was, and how silly the z sounded, now the kids feel proud that is isn't hard for them to say. They brag about not being hard. Yesterday long story short, I wasn't in my class, I was helping the primary president instead, next week I'll be back with my kids. One little boy in my class, can be quite snooty, and lippy. He gives me hard time a lot and I often wonder is it because he likes me or because he doesn't. I hope for the first. On sunday, he was late to primary so he went straight to class, when he walked in for sharing time he saw me and yelled, Sister Huntz. He was so happy to see me. I was glad it proved the first, I was also glad he called me Sister. Although I tell me kids to call me sister, they do hear my first name from time to time from people who aren't as fuddy duddy as me. I was glad, he used it. It was a good moment on all accounts. But mostly because it was so sweet that he was happy to see me.

The Good Book

About a month ago my son wanted to read the Book of Mormon before bed. I thought awesome he gets it, he came around. Pathetic on my part that it wasn't a given we were going to read, and that he had to ask. Every night after that I asked if he wanted to read it again, he said, "no I'm fine". But would often be thankful in prayers that his mom read scriptures to him. I didn't know what to make of this. It was gratifying, worrisome, and pathetic all at the same time on my part. Scriptures are not something we read once and put back on the shelf.
I've been waiting around for him to want it again. Then it hit me, he is a child. He is not going to chose to be a scriptorian on his own. Here are my internal musings:
I'm sure I'm not the only religious mother who struggles knowing what to do to read the good book(s) to my child. From time to time we read straight from the scriptures. So he can be expose to the peculiar sentence structure. From time to time we read the illustrated readers. Then from time to time we read nothing, because I'm a loser like that. I never know if its more important for him to have the real stuff, or to get the overall stories. When we go with the straight text we do try to explain to him what is going on, we usually pick three or so verses and discuss it. But then we stop because I feel overwhelmed, he doesn't know the stories. (Sometimes I'm pretty sure I forget he is four.) Then I stop for a long time. Then I decided he needs the stories. But then we stop for a long time because the stories, become over is head, there is not rhyming, the pictures are weird and from the 70s. For whatever reason we both lose interest and stop. Then tonight I thought duh, when I stop one I need to pick up the other immediately not months later, both stories and text are important. Who knows how long I'll keep it up. I'm not quite sure why I struggle so much with daily scriptures with my kids. I have unrealistic expectations. I know teach to your audience, I don't to do any long, let me assure you I don't.
One last thought, since my son turned four he thinks he gets four books before bed, I have been unhappy about this since February but I have no idea how to solve it. Tonight I did, three books, and scriptures. Hopefully it sticks. We have done three books since he was his sister's age, it has nothing to do with age. We'll do four books when his sister goes to bed the same time he does, two for him, two for her. I don't want four now. Four books, is a bane.

Vacation

I sometimes complain that my husband and I grew up with different traditions. He might not buy me desserts, he might not buy me flowers, but the one thing I did right in life, was marrying a man who was willing to take care of me in the life I grew accustomed to. And by that I mean taking me on vacation multiple times a year. My life for the last decade more has, averaged about four vacations a year. How can you complain about that?! I love vacation. Thank goodness I married a man who loves to vacation too, even if it is just simple car camping. Some would say car trips aren't a vacation but for me they are. I love car trips, I despise flying, I just do it, because its quicker than driving. Sometimes vacation is about the journey and sometimes its about the destination. When its about the destination, I sucome to the evils of flying.

Date Night

Last night as I was brushing my teeth, I was think about how much I adore my husband. Five and three quarters years ago I thought I loved him (and I did love him) but really I had no idea how much I could possibly love him. Luckily for me, we got to out to lunch today without our children. We had gift certificates to a Brazilian Grill from when my husband went with his boss and coworkers and the waitress pour juice all over him, that were expiring next week. So it was now or never, I ask my neighbor to watch my kids, and so I finally got to go on a date with my husband. Albeit a short day, it was just a scheduled lunch in the middle of the work day. Other than ward temple sessions, I really can not remember the last time I went out with my husband. (I'm quite nervous about leaving my kids.) But oh I love my husband, he is so sympathetic to my emotional ridiculousness. As shown in the picture, from 2005.

By the way just for the record, I love any meat wrapped in bacon. Although my need of iron made the sirloin taste REALLY good. (My need is not from pregnancy, I am not pregnant, sometimes people are just anemic.) If my husband ever wants to please me he just has to buy me non-pork meat wrapped in bacon.

Finally the Day After

I hope my previous post didn't sound bitter, it wasn't suppose to be. It was introspective for me, I just happened to push the orange button to share my brainwaves with the rest of the world. I needed to realize what mother's day looks like for my family.

Speaking of which one of my favorite parts of Mother's day was after church, we put the girl down for her nap, the boy was running around in circles outside, and my husband and I were on the couch talking. He even rubbed my feet. What more I could I ask for but quantity time with my husband (that is not a typo). My other favorite was when the little boys in my primary class showed me the cards they made for their mom's and grandma's. And lastly when in sharing time the kids made flower pots for their moms. It was quite humorous to watch my son work with another teacher, and keep saying, I don't have enough flowers, I need more. Then hand it to me, and here him say here mom I made it for you. And finally today I got my mother's day card for him. A white piece of paper with a cut in it from each different type of scrapbook scissors we have. (and grease spots from sitting on the table all day).

While she is not required to notice mother's day yet. Next year... next year...

(By the way do not be concerned with the bandaid. He barely scratched his cheek riding his scooter sideways. Hours later when he was whining, the salty tears hurt his scratch and he demanded a bandaid, under the condition he would stop crying.)

My Mother's Days

My husband and I have an ongoing disagreement about how he treats mother's days. Here is the chronicle of my years and the holiday.
Mother's Day 010:

My husband started an upgrade on friday night for a client that took about 28 hours. No it does not take constant attention, and he does do it from the comfort of our home, but he has to stay at home, he slept about 4 hours Friday night. Great start to the weekend, he is off from school, so I have been trying to go out for dinner with him since last Wednesday. Something keeps coming up, I thought Saturday we would be great for a late lunch, then a trip to the Bosch store. I would really like a salesman to sell me on some attachments, that I'm not actually going to buy. We can't find a good site on the internet that even lists attachments. But I'm not actually complaining, it was a fine mother's day Saturday, we grilled gourmet burgers, and went out for ice cream (we had ice cream in waffle cone bowls) on the patio, kids and all. And even though my husband was tons of exhausted he tried to be extremely helpful. Not to mention I went shoe shopping by myself on Friday night, then went back out on Saturday morning.

Sunday he woke up more than 45 minutes before we leave for church wahoo! He woke up right after I got out of the shower so he could be helpful, it was wonderful, we ended up being "late". I had a nap today, and we had bread bowls and soup. I can't complain, even though neither my husband or my son wanted to make me a mother's day card. My son did make me a flower pot in primary, and he went up to "sing" with the primary. He didn't ever open his mouth, but he kept his hands down, and wore green plastic frame novelty glasses. I wish I could have taken a picture of my stoic child. The only think I really wanted for mother's day was these rings, which I knew my husband was not spending $120 on, so I made myself a necklace, with money from the income we have from the job he works so I was a happy clam. The silver sandals(minus the heal) I got with rhinestones on them were just a plus, not to mention my ice cream cookbook. Plus when I got my shoes, I got black shoes for my son for my brother's wedding for only $6! Just nothing was wrapped. Which is fine. Sorry I recorded the every detail, it was compulsive! I need every detail for future when we bring up lack of mother's day excitement.

Now on to the History of my mother's day:
Mother's Day 09
I barely remember, part of the postpartum memory lost. My kids took a darling picture in their polo outfits. I once again picked out my own present, that is where I went wrong years ago. My husband encouraged my son to get all my stuff and bring it out as presents, (my husband likes to regift my stuff as presents, it helps us keep clutter down, and discourages from over consumerism).

Mother's Day 08
This is like the highlight of mother's days for my short history. I had just gotten a new hair cut a few weeks previously. My son was at a great toddler age (my favorite stage), I was barely pregnant, but I didn't know how awful that pregnancy would be yet. We were both out of college, my husband worked 10 minutes away, life was truly blissful. Once again I picked out my present, a photo enlargement.

Mother's Day 07
I have no idea, we have no photos of it. This is just a fun photo of my husband and me in May of 07. My husband claims he knows what he gave me, but he won't admit to anything so I don't think he remembers either. We were in a in between stage, my husband graduated the previous December, and I just finished up. We had spent three weeks at his parents house, and then had just barely moved into our apartment. But really is that any excuse not to have something documented?! Nah, I will tell you father's days are all documented, he even got a present when I was pregnant.

Mother's Day 06
My son was 3 months old, we were about to move to Texas for the summer, or just had. Once again postpartum fog. No pictures, I have no idea if he gave me a present, highly doubtful. He didn't buy me presents, and I didn't buy myself presents when we were in school. We don't even have a picture of me in May 06. Which is why I made my husband take photos of me and the kids, so I wouldn't have yet another year to hold over his head.


This year, I talked, I asked what, if anything did he and his family do for his mother growing up. Then told him what we did for my mom. He thinks they brought her breakfast in bed, but doesn't remember anything else. I'm too compulsive to want to start that as a tradition. I don't even like kids in old diapers on my bed, let alone syrup. My favorite breakfasts all include syrup. When I was a kid I remember my father taking me and my little brother to get something for my mom, I have no idea what my 5 older siblings did. We had something like grilled chicken for dinner, either my sister or I made angel food cake and cut up strawberries, then we all sat around in the family room giving our presents and cards to my mom, just like it was her second birthday of the year.
We are all creatures of our upbringing, I always expected a second birthday when I became a mom, in fact I looked forward to it, as the one redeeming reason to have kids. I give my husband a second birthday for father's day, something I don't think he cares one lick about. I don't think he even cares about the first birthday I give him a year. We were raised differently, had different types of holiday traditions and birthday traditions. I think this is actually for me, the hardest part of our marriage. (Pretty good thing to complain about :) He struggles giving me a first birthday of the year, my last wedding anniversary was the first year I got a present, one I picked out and ordered (at his point in the conversation, my husband quoted Modern Family, "Where does everyone think she gets her money from?". Anyway, we still haven't found our grove to holidays, especially only commercial ones like mother's day. He was disappointed they gave me cookies in church instead of tomato plants like last year. Wait who's day is this anyway?! He pointed something out a few months ago, which is he is 100% right about. I think I want him to buy me presents, when he does surprise me with something, I say oh, thanks (imagine a unexcited voice). He pointed out I want to buy my own presents, what he didn't include but should have, and have him wrap them. True, that isn't his style, which is totally fine. So like I said we haven't hit our holiday groove. I do have dreams though of getting totally ridiculous presents from my kids that they have picked out with him at the store. I suggested maybe when we have a yard he could go buy me plants. Although that is the great thing about my kid getting older. He made a present for me in Primary, next year in Preschool I'll get another present. And when he does something embarrassing like say his mom's favorite thing to do is sit at the computer, I'll love it even more because that means he wrote it not a teacher. Which is why I finished my lesson early, so my primary kids could make cards for their moms. I loved what they came up with. One kid did hearts all over, another one did a yellow bird, because his mom likes yellow, birds and trees, and another one drew a picture of his mom and him holding hands. I love it, every second.
A sister in law a few years back pointed out I'm not a gift love language, I'm words of affirmation. (I bought my husband a bottle of bleach after he mentioned it, and I wanted him to complement me on the fabulous job I did at getting him an impromptu gift. Ridiculous I know!) Which is almost right, I'm totally not gift, I want to do my own shopping, I hate other people affirming me, but I do like my husband to, but mostly I just like quality time, with him staring at me in rapture, saying uh huh at the right time, while I blab on forever. Kind of like this blog, except you don't have to say uh huh, you can close the browser back at 08, if you made it that far. Which is why I planned lunch and the store, him staring at me in rapture while we ate. I like car trips he has to listen to me for hours uninterrupted, and when my son tries to interrupt me, he tells him, mommy is talking.

Yoga

When my son was younger than my daughter, I use to try to do yoga while he was asleep. But I hate wasting that precious time on something like exercise. I then started doing it while he was awake. I currently do it while my kids are awake. I use to think I need my kid asleep to fully relax during yoga. Now I realize anyone can relax while the distractions are gone, its can you relax while its there, that is the real test. Today while I stretch my limbs my son played red light green light under the bridge (downward dog), my daughter tried to jump on my back every time I was doing plank, or upward dog, and during my final relaxation I had two little bodies on either side of me, fighting for my attention, one counting loudly, and the other whining. Bring heaven and earth, down to me, takes on a whole another meaning with such noises in my ears. But I think its working, this is the first time since my son was 9 months old that I exercised regularly, and I am definitely more relaxed around my children's nuisances.