Playing House

For the first few years of marriage/motherhood I felt like I was often playing house.  I was having fun but I kept expecting the "adults/parents" to come home and send me and my best friend Brent home.  They never did, I was the one in charge, the one that was suppose to call the shots.  But seriously I was just playing house. Weren't all my fancy wedding presents that I loved using, just toys bought for Christmas? Or maybe they belonged to someone else that was maybe napping for something, that I would use to pretend with when they weren't looking. (I remember as a child trying on my mom's jewelry when she wasn't in the room, or when she was.)
One day I was visiting my cousin and her family in Vegas, and she asked me if I ever felt like I was playing house?  Yes!, I was so relieved to know some one else felt the same way.
A few months ago, something reminded me of that time.  But oddly enough the feeling went away years ago.  Probably sometime during my second pregnancy, after four years of marriage. Yeah, reality has definitely set in, if nothing else during the colic of my second.  This is my life, I love it, sometimes I feel like its semi-charmed, other times its harder than I expected, but its definitely mine, no one is going walk in and pay me and send me home. Thank goodness. No one is going to knock on my plastic door and tell me to clean up for dinner.  I'm the one in charge whether I like it or not.

Great Grandma

Last time we were at great grandma's, she wanted to make sure the jets in her tub still work, so my boy got the time of life. My daughter only stayed for a few minutes before the bubbles reached her face and she was ready to get out.  During worry I held onto her the whole time, I didn't want to lose her in those bubbles.

Funny thing is, I remember my grandma giving me baths when she lived in New Jersey, and my parents would drop me off while they attended the Washington DC Temple.  Although I never had that many bubbles, in that big of a tub.

I thought he looked like something out of a movie, that big huge white tub.

After they were all squeaky clean from those bubbles, they did what they always do at great grandma's: eat life cereal.

Random

Another Halloween Outfit, I just think halloween outfits are the cutest clothes all year.

These were taken last month.

My son's curly locks. I cut them off yesterday.

I didn't shave his head, its just quite shorter, I didn't expect to cut it so much shorter, but I was actually enjoying cutting, I was actually using the proper technique. His hair is still visably curly, he made me promise I wouldn't cut the curls off. Its just not a big mop anymore, but I'm sure it will be moppy again in just a few short weeks.

Gratitude Dinner

We had a gratitude dinner for a Relief Society Activity tonight. (Relief Society is the organization for all women in my church all over the world.) I was asked to set up a table. I was extremely overwhelmed by this task. For one I can't tie a bow how could I set up a center piece with a basket without a bow?! I researched online, make one that looked presentable, even ironed my ribbon, then forgot to tie it on the basket. Anyway, this is the end product apparently I didn't need to be overwhelmed.

I love that pilgrim girl.

I wasn't actually overwhelmed about the way the table looked. I was overwhelmed, because Brent had class tonight, its a new class, so I wasn't anticipating it to be a class night. I was worried how I was going to set up the table get someone to watch my kids, etc
Turned out find, at the last minute we figured out I could set up sunday evening, we tore through my dish boxes, pulling out extra plates and bowls, that we never unpacked this last time. He helped me, and that was a weight off my shoulders. But still what about my kids, my neighbor said he would, and ended up having to come home while he was out, to put my kids and their car seats in their van and drove them out to the west side of the valley, and brought them back when I was done. Whew, it all worked out fine, but all that juggling was an extra stress for me when I walked in the church.
Everyone that sat at my table was at least old enough to be my mother if not my grandma which is fine, I don't discriminate on age. They were all very nice, asked me where I was from, told me how beautiful my table was, how fun and lovely my plates were. It was a very nice evening for me after I finally relaxed. The lady who asked me to set up a table also sat at my table. She told all the other women how fabulous I was. I guess I was looking modest, because she ended with now she will tell you she doesn't do anything special, but she's wrong, she is amazing. I don't think I do anything other than what is expected of me, "gotta git 'er done" but none the less I appreciated her kind description. It was a nice evening. And even with not sitting with anyone of my generation, I've got enough play dates set up to last us a month.
So remember be grateful. Its a godly virtue, it increases our faith, be grateful during trials, it shows us the hand of the Lord in our life.
Oh speaking of, one of the elderly ladies at my table said, remind me your name. I said Lesli, she said oh that's right, and then she said my last name. I was surprised she knew me. I'm teach primary (child in church), how does she know me? Then later during dinner, I said something about my husband at class, she said oh yes, I remember that from your testimony a few months ago. I smiled and though, oh no, please never remember my testimonies. Please no one. I don't say them for any reason then my chest seems like it will explode with my heart beats. I don't really know what I say when I'm up there, other than I know I specifically try to testify of Christ. I'm sure I mention all types of trials that I don't really want the ward knowing. The only consolation is even though I write really long blog posts, I try say short testimonies, so they can't hear too much of my problems.

And to end things off on a different note, here is Nannie.

Contradictory

Pretty much everyone has told me my daughter looks like my side of the family. And I agree, she looks so much look my family it sometimes weirds me out.  But yet, this summer I scanned in a bunch of my husband's baby pictures and holy smokes who knew my daughter looked so much like my husband.  I knew when they cuddle together and have their serious calm faces they look oddly similar. Nan also looks like her cousin-- my  husband's sister's son.  Nan is the yellow, and her cousin is in green, they aren't by any means identical, but definitely have some similarities.  

Here are some more comparisons. My daughter's smile, and my husband's smile as a baby.

Nan totally has same smile.  Although she has my teeth.

She also has her dad's forehead, and ears.

Its the same as my son.  People tell me how much like his dad he looks, and how he looks nothing like me.  He has my husband's dominate genes, like his eyes and darker coloring.  Just the same as my daughter and me.  But yet J has my forehead, and my ears, and his toddler pictures look surprisingly like mine. Wow, its amazing, they must be half my genes and half my husband's.  Who would have thought?

Not Cheese

I've always considered myself some what of an anti-romantic.  Sure I've watched my fair share of romantic comedies, I even own a few, but beyond that I don't seem to like romance.  Most of the time a romantic song comes on the radio I want to gag, and switch it.  Not all the time, I like song by people like Taylor Swift, its true.  But I'm not a fan of public expression of verbal affection.  I find proposals at Disneyland or anything else grand, disgusting.  I don't want to be present at someone singing a love song to someone in specific.  (Although that might be because my husband and I are not fans of live music.) I would be horrified if my husband told me he loved in front of anyone other than maybe our children.
But then the other Saturday morning, I was walking out of the temple with two of my sister in laws.  A bride was walking it, I was super excited for her. I loved my wedding, it was pretty much the funnest day of my life, it was the best, I was so trilled to be getting married to Brent.  Now this is were my anti-romance sentiment gets me, wait, how can I be giddy for a girl I don't even know?  I take my kids to temple square all the time, we see a lot of brides, and I am always excited for the happy looking ones.
When I shared my contradiction with my sister in laws, Pam said, that isn't romance that is cheese.

Oh, she finally cleared something up for me!  I don't like cheesy things, but as my husband told me he already knew, it turns out I am a romantic, which is why I smile at all those happy brides.
I think cheesy pretend romance is disgusting, but if you like it more power to you, but you won't find me clicking the thumbs up button.

I guess I'm into the quiet devotion, and commitment more than flowery loud words, whether it be pretend in a movie, or in front of 65 worthy close adult family members smashed into 50 seats.

Every mother...

Every mother thinks their children are beautiful, and let me assure you I am no different.