Monday morning I woke up panicked. I told my husband I was not ready for this baby to come out. In a retelling of the story to a friend, she wanted clarification, I am totally ready to have this fourth/sixth human being in my house and family, I am not ready to do everything that must be done once I check in the hospital. Ahh! birthing babies! Horror upon Horror. At about this moment I would rather potty train. (Come 8 months from now, I might sing a different tune.)
Anyway, monday monring I panicked. So when I saw my doctor later on, and he asked if I wanted to be checked I said no. I didn't know what would be worse, to hear I hadn't made any progress or that I had. (I made no progress until 39 weeks with my first two.) I decided I would rather not know. My babysitter while I'm in the hospital is leaving town for a week. Until today, I thought sure this baby COULD come early, but now it is not allowed, he is going to have to wait until the 29th. I guess anytime after the 27th. (yes, I have backups, but life would just be easier with the plan.)
Overall I still feel panicked, but not as bad. Other than packed bags we are getting close to ready. The toddler is in with the 5 year, so he doesn't associate the infant with not being with the 7 year old. The first morning I could tell he missed his brother, he had to go check on him. But since then its been a party in big sister's room. Yes, I have a boy and a girl sharing a room. I'm totally ok with this. When I was real small I shared with my sister, but then for a few years I shared with my little brother, I think until I was almost 9. Its been good for my daughter over the past few days, learning to share her room. She is really learning how to be "the big sister", she is earning the title instead of just breathing.
I should mention, I'm loving her at 5. Every few days she decides to impress us on how big she is, and do a chore or task without crying. Its amazing to have her try to go all day without crying. Its been a long 5 years. I'm actually quite surprised, my oldest exasperated me until he was 6. So when she turned 5, I thought only one more year until she starts acting like a human. I'm just loving this new big kid. She has really struggled during this pregnancy of mine, in ways she never did during my third. We've had some regressions, and other trials, so I'm excited that she is now trying so hard at being big. She even told her dad she was going to give him her thumb sucking blanket. She has since backed down, but she is making progress, and it might be gone soon!