Housing

When I first saw the apartment complex that I lived in I wanted to cry, I was so not ready for the move. The first apartment we saw wasn't that great.
But then after researching for myself, the only thing I found was 200-400 sq ft less, for $100-$200+ more. Often times in crappier neighborhoods, with no storage space, I finally consigned myself to the reality, but wondering why I wasn't getting a good feeling about the move. My husband said he figured as long as he didn't get a bad feeling he figured it was fine. I thought maybe this is one of those standing in the darkness with faith experiences.
But still I was wishing for that conformation feelings, when we moved into our first apartment after college, our fourplex off main, I had an extremely strong feeling, we HAD to move there. I told my husband to sign the lease before I had even seen, while I was in Texas, because I KNEW we had to move there. A few weeks later it all became clear that yes we were suppose to move there. I knew every move wouldn't be THAT clear, but still I could wish for something, anything.
So how did I get from a state of denial and confusion to where I am now....
I love where we live, sure I haven't "arrived in life", I don't have my house, my 2.6 kids, my dog my urban chickens, a brand new large wally world, yes I still have to shop at the stupid small one. But overall I don't think you ever hit the arrived stage of life.
When we came to pick out what apartment to get, we looked at one, and I thought ok I can do this, it wasn't as ghetto was the first one I looked at. Then the landlady, said you have seen the other floor plans right? We said no, so then we proceeded to look at more. At the next one we looked at she informed us that two of the neighbors just had new babies, and have older kids too. When I walked in the apartment, I got that feeling, I thought this is it, this is the apartment for us. Finally IT came, just it wasn't as strong as my first apartment, but still I knew we could live here for the next two years.
I saw my sister in law Alisa later that afternoon when I picked up my son, she asked me about the place. Asked me how I chose, I said honestly it was the one I felt better about. Sure I wouldn't make world order decisions about war and peace based on gut decisions, but apartment rentals I make on gut decisions. She said she appreciated that I wouldn't political decisions based on guts not facts.
So here is the truth about the apartments they are basically the same, the same square footage, the same price, the same development, the same new verse old appliances. The first one had a newer fridge and sliding porch door, while this one has a new oven, a newer dishwasher, and bigger living room. The one we choose has an old fridge which is actually the same fridge I think we had in Pam's basement, except it doesn't work as well. I secretly hope that it will stop working and we will get a new fridge, we have our drop in freezer in our laundry room, so none of our food would be wasted. Plus we love our oven, we have never had an oven that works properly in all our years of marriage until now. Its bliss!
But longer story longer, I do know this was the better apartment to move into, this has a small confined grassy knoll in front for my kid to play in grass, where the other one has a huge not confined. This one has two kids within 20 yds that will start sunbeams with J next January. This one has two kids whose front doors open up to the same stairwell as us. We are ALWAYS outside, my son wines on the floor until I let him out, so it is nice to have other children and adults outside at least half of the time we are there. Sure I often feel like I'm invading into their outdoor time, or butting myself into their conversations, but we are outside more than anyone else, so we promise we aren't just being tag alongs. Anyway, its nice to live by other children, and mothers that are home during the day, we might even start joy school (home preschool) this fall with all these three and four year olds, because there are at least 5 of them super close by.
Not to mention, bonus is we have halved our monthly expensive from where we use to live, and there is less for me to clean, and no indoor stairs for Nan baby to fall down.
As of yet our walls have not leaked yellow stains, like our fourplex on main, we have an built in dishwasher, our own laundry, and ants aren't invading like the last house, and the ceilings are tall enough for us. Like I said life is good, although I still really miss living in our fourplex, I think because it was our first post college place.

Eating like birds

A serious chronic problem...WHAT TO COOK FOR DINNER???!!!!!
So, I hate cooking dinner, the only thing that tops it, is browning ground beef and cutting raw chicken, or wait that is part of the problem
My husband and child, don't eat much, they are like birds, and never ever suggest anything, other than nachos and hot dogs. Unfortunately neither of them eat hot dogs.
Now here is the other problem, I am like a small child, and incredibly picky, unless someone else made it than I will gobble it up.
For a long time beef and I were not so much friends, since then I've been pregnant twice and in dire need of iron, so now we are chummy, unless the BBQ only cooks half the burger, or you make me eat it more than twice a week.
Chicken and I use to be in a love affair, but then I became pregnant twice, oh and I can barely be in the same room as raw chicken when I'm pregnant.
Now luckily I'm not pregnant, but when it comes to anything I have vivid graphic memories, especially when it concerns queasy stomachs. So chicken maybe once a week.
SO... that leaves me four more days to come up with dinner.
I love carbs, but every one makes them sound evil, so I feel guilty if I eat white pasta more than once a week, and I'm way too cheap to buy wheat pasta.
So yes there are beans, and lentils, and I'm expanding my abilities with those, but I've just started and only know about three dishes. And who really wants to eat the same thing week after week.
And tomato make my daughter refluxie so we only have a tomato dish about once a week, so there goes mexican dishes the only thing my husband will eat more than one helping of.
Anyway, this isn't that difficult I just like it to be, so I make it that way. I don't know whats for dinner, and I'm out of budget money.
Ahh, to be a homemaker, I feel so 1950s.
Overall I've decided I need more bean and lentil dishes, but not too many because then I will get sick of their mushiness.
But to top it all off, not only am I meat adverse, I'm not too fond of many vegetables, really the only think I like is fruit, and cake, and fruity flavored desserts. Unfortuantly I get deathly ill if I eat too much sugar at once, my husband often has to remind me to stop.
The only think I want to eat is cupcakes. Mmm, cupcakes. I begged my husband to not eat MY last cupcake today, and to save it for me. He said what if its my cupcake, you already ate the previous six. That that I had grovel, please, I need it, I'll pay you for it. He started laughing? paying out of what? (We have had a long standing joke, that I don't have money for what he wants at the grocery store out of my budget. The other day he told me he couldn't buy me a birthday present in a month and half because he doesn't have a budget. ) I told him I would buy the cupcake out of the budget money, that he earns from his full-time job. Apparently he likes me because he didn't eat the cupcake.

The good stuff

My daughter knows where to find the good stuff, the stuff mama doesn't feed 8 month olds. I found find her under her big brother's chair at the kitchen table eating the scraps she finds on the floor. Like sprinkles, note the orange one on her chin. She also likes the fruity pebbles he spills.

Sunday Night Picnic

Our sunday evening picnic...
turned into a our sunday night hike.

I love the summer baby in only the onesie, but I also was loving the baby hoodie and jeans. Also loving how the grey unisex hoodie, is turned girly with the ruffles.

We saw a moose

We ate homemade chicken noodle soup out of a thermos, and homemade rolls, that had previously been cooked in our oven at home.

Overall as we driving home off the mountain, I wish we had a chance to go camping one more time this year, but with PMBA school starting, and the kids and I going to Texas, plus a trip to LA, its not in the stars. I DO NOT like camping with small children when it is cold, especially at night. But it made me realize since we will no longer have quantity time with dad, we need to something fun at least once a week, for quality.

Bliss

I now teach the five and six years olds in primary. I'm pretty excited about, I forgot until I got called that this was my dream from about two years ago. I subbed in primary for about six weeks and it was so fun to learn the songs again so I could sing them with my son, and I remember thinking wouldn't it be fun if I was teaching in junior primary, but not sunbeams when my boy became a sunbeam. Just a few more months. Anyway, so while I am in primary, my daughter and my husband are getting quality time together. In sunday school, he heard this quote and told me about it.

“I was just sure the first ten years would be bliss. But during our first year together I discovered … there were a lot of adjustments. Of course, they weren’t the kind of thing you ran home to mother about. But I cried into my pillow now and again. The problems were almost always related to learning to live on someone else’s schedule and to do things someone else’s way. We loved each other, there was no doubt about that. But we also had to get used to each other. I think every couple has to get used to each other.”
Sister Marjorie P. Hinckley, wife of President Gordon B. Hinckley (in Sheri L. Dew, Go Forward with Faith: The Biography of Gordon B. Hinckley [1996], 118).

I was so relieved to hear that from a woman who was married to a prophet. Don't get me wrong I love my husband, in fact since we moved I often find myself smiling because I get to married to him. But sometime I wonder why in the heck he does something, or doesn't do something, until I decided to get over it. Like why is he not concerned about the carseats?! (He always buckles our children in, he just doesn't want to spend money to replace a non damaged, non expired carseat) Anyway, its nice to know Sister Hinckley thought the same thing, minus the carseats that hadn't been invented.

With that being said, Brent said the teacher said he thought the first year of marriage was the hardest year of his life until he got to the second year. Brent said, I just don't get, I didn't think the first year of marriage was hard at all, I don't think any of it has been hard. I think you think the same thing except for the beginning of the first pregnancy you weren't too happy with me. (Neither of us were too happy with life in general at that point, which we quickly got over.) Anyway, I agree with my husband, we never had a hard adjustment phase, I don't know why we got lucky. I remember every month waking up on the 30th of the first year of marriage thinking yes, its been two months how did it pass so quickly, three, four, etc. I don't think we ever fought. The first year of marriage was truly blissful, although our engagement was the most terrible part of life, by no fault of my husband, he was perfect, I was so stressed with going to school, and planning a wedding, that I cried every day. I can't believe he actually married me after how I acted being engaged. My husband will agree marriage was so fantastic after that engagement. Or maybe it was blissful its because we knew each other so well before hand, we spent so much time talking when we said we would never date each other, that we never put on a show in a dating sense of being more mannered or refined then we really were. I knew who my husband was when I married him. Nothing he does really surprises me, he is the type of guy who would give his friend the roof rack of his wife's car. He apologized afterward, and I said I knew who you were when I married you. He is the man who will fall sleep at 8 pm, and always be the first volunteer when someone is moving. Who plays quake three when I'm gone and he while is watching the kids. Don't worry the boy thinks he is playing and helping his dad.

All I can say, is I got lucky, I got a man who I think is fantastically perfect for me, and I think he is pretty fond of me too. He would tell you he has no complaints, and honestly mean it, would not be able to even come up with a complaint. To think its just a few weeks shy of knowing him for six years. Crazy. By the way we have no memory of meeting for the first time.

And by the way, yes one day in the near distant future, he will come home unexpectedly and I got a new job opportunity, what do you think about moving to, ___________. And I'll say when do we leave? Luckily I know that can't happen until he graduates, because there is no way in heck he will repeat his MBA work in a different location. But if I'm lucky before the next job, he'll say, flights to Mexico are under a $____ want to go?

Life is pretty much perfect, I don't mind that I'm surrounded in food storage not one bit. (I'm typing in my bedroom, everyone is a sleep, yes even my husband, next to me with the light on.)

Not to say we haven't had struggles over the past four and half years, but the thing that always gets me past the struggles is my desire to want to enjoy my marriage, and be the best mother I can be. I think I'm failing terribly at being the best mother, but at least I'm enjoying marriage. Which in itself is a gift to my children. So.... maybe I just need to lower my expectations of motherhood. Enjoying motherhood, and being the best at it, are two different things, maybe I should work on this. I use to wonder if Brent could have done better than me, than I decided why stress, he picked me I didn't force him. That is my secret in life, whenever something I can't change turns out to be disappointing, I lower my expectations, than magically it meets my expectations. Although I didn't have to do that in marriage, I just had to remember that some things that drive me nuts now is what endeared me to him the beginning. Like always helping other people in need, when I want attention, his strong service ethic appealed to me. The carseats? He was always so nonsensical, practical, and frugal, and still is. I turn too many things in emotional appeals, like this blog post.

My husband is everything I wanted in a man, and all the things I never even thought about. I really spent hardly anytime planning a wedding, a marriage, or a man. I was too young to be obsessed with things like that when I met him, fresh off the plane from high school.

Pictures

Pictures from the first time I went to go see the art. It was a couple of months ago, so my baby looks quite a bit younger too me. I went with my sister in law (from the previous post) who enjoyed taking pictures of my girl.

Art

Can I post these? I don't know these are some of my favorites from the The Church History Museum's Eighth International Art Competition.

This mom is knitting her daughter a sweater from from unraveling her own sweater she is wearing. Even after giving her daughter, everything she can the daughter is scowling at the mom.

This is titled Rooted.

There was many more fabulous ones. Even more the second time I went. You should all go, especially if you need a homeschool activity. But even if you don't homeschool you should go. Its more kid friendly than most exhibits, my son runs around, and I try to convince him to be quiet and not run, but still no one scowls or talks sternly to us, usually they just smile, because most are rather fond of young children in my religion.
Maybe I should find another reason to go before October.