Did I write about the marriage seminar Brent and I went to months ago?
The therapist talked about goals, and how after you have all these other emotional levels met you have to have goals for yourself.
I felt like I was doing great on the checklist of having my life and relationship in order 5 minutes before this.
She started talking about the dreams and goals, and I started crying. That is what was missing in my life. I knew something was missing, but I couldn't put a finger on it.
I cried multiple times in the next few days, the emotional toll was too big.
Then I picked myself up, pulled up my big girl panties, I decided to tackle this.
(I should point out, that she said the lack of goals and dreams is what causes people to up and leave after 10-15-20 years. When people say, I didn't realize anything was wrong and then she/he just up and left. She also said the more effective a person is, the more likely they are to give up the goals and dreams.)
So I've spent months wondering what my goals were.
I think I did post about this. I was trying to decided what I want to do one day when my last baby starts 1st grade. What are my aspirations?
For a while I couldn't find any dreams that didn't involve anyone in my family.
I didn't feel like it was fair to them, to place my happiness in their life choices, so those didn't work.
I then tried to find something that was me and only me. I eventually came up with some things.
But then last week, I remembered my goal, the goal I've had since Brent and I were very young. My desire for this type of thing was the reason I was able to give up all those plans I had made in high school in lieu of choosing Brent.
It wasn't this specific 11 years ago. But now it is.
My goal is to go on a mission with my husband in every continent in the world. (Other than maybe Antarctica because that doesn't have a permanent population.)
Its a pretty awesome to have a goal, I feel a lot more grounded.