Thursday, November 6, 2014

Setting the Record Straight

I still have postpartum depression. It will probably stick around until I wean my baby.
But my life is functional again.
This summer life was not. I barely ate, my children and husband ate a lot of cereal, I'm pretty sure I didn't buy much other than cereal and milk. I yelled a lot and we went to swim lessons. I'm not sure what else happened, screen time, lots of screen time. Oh and we folded laundry and did the dishes. But always late, the dishes always needed to be done before they were. If it wasn't for my oldest helping fold the laundry there is a good chance we would have been naked. Literally THE only chores that go done was dishes, laundry and sometimes cleaning up the toys.
Oh and we swept, I swept after breakfast and the 8 year old swept after dinner. I have a crawling infant and a crumby two year old. It was NECESSARY.
We had lots of screen time did I mention that.
(In September we deep cleaned the house, because we hadn't cleaned since June. Life was dark this summer.)

As you know, I started using aromatherapy.
I also started taking DesBio Hormone Combination  that my sister in law suggested.
And I went back to taking postpartum herbal tea that my mom mixes up for me.

Most days I'm a normal person again, I feel like myself and my older kids don't whisper about mom being super mean. I start to wean myself off so much of it, and I just do the daily essential oils. If I skip a day of essential oils everyone in my house notices.
But even when I keep up on the essential oil something happens, it varies, but something inevitably screws up my hormones, and I sky rocked down again, it takes me a few days to realize that I hate the entire world and then I pick up the last two steps again.

So yes to set the record straight yes I still have postpartum depression. But yes the essential oils have been a life saver. If it wasn't for the essential oils, a family member would have had to move in to take care of my family, because I sure as heck wouldn't be able to. Some days I feel really terrible, but other days I feel like myself again and I wonder where I have been.

Monday was a truly terrible day. Truly. Not coincidentally I got up in church on Sunday and bore my testimony about how in the darkest hours over the summer I realized the spirit had been with me all along because every so often small thoughts came to my mind, that were not my own.
Anyway back to terrible Monday. Monday was terrible, so I added back the tea because I thought I might die otherwise. (Dramatic I know, but some of you that had similar trials understand.) By Wednesday I thought, man where have I been for the last couple of weeks?

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