I realize I have no real trials at this point in my life. All the things I complain about are really blessings. Loud children, laundry, dishes, dinner, cleaning, paying for my husband's MBA, paying bills, staying within my budget, crying, too much stuff. But yet at the same time life sometimes suffocating. I have so say no matter what happens in the day, no matter how overwhelmed I get, I'm glad I going through all of this with my husband at my side. Its such a relief when I'm so stressed out to know my husband is passed out a sleep next to me. (Not literally passed out, it takes great effort on my part, to calm down, relax and go to sleep. My husband's head it the pillow and he is out.) I was extremely stressed a month or so ago, with budgets, income, up coming tuition, rent, buying a house?, staying, moving. But at night when I would lay down next to my husband it was nice to know, if I have to endure to the end I'm glad I get to do it with him. And in fact it makes me happy to know I get to endure with him. Some days by the time I get the kids to bed I feel so bogged down I want to scream, but to know that I'm living and doing all of this with Brent makes me happy.
Plus he was the one to point out to me a few months ago, all my trials are blessings.
Showing posts with label wifehood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wifehood. Show all posts
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Friday, November 7, 2008
I'm a survivor
Yes, I will admit before I start that title is a little dramatic, but that's my personality. I survived (as did my child) my husband's very first business trip.
(Once again this is probably longer than most of you have interest in reading, but its my personal history.)
I swore when my husband was scout master business trips would be easier because he was getting paid. Wrong! The night before he left I was a wreck, because I kept thinking what if something goes wrong, when he was scout master he at least had some spiritual protection being a church leader. (Let's hope he always has spiritual protection.) Since we live so close to the airport my husband decided he would rather have me take him at 5:30 in the morning, then have work pay for his car in long term parking. So we woke up my kid, put on his snow boots and hat, (it was snowing) and drove the 15 minutes to the airport. By the look on my child's face I thought he was going to cry when his dad said good bye to him, but he didn't, dad is good at boosting confidence. He probably told my son it was his job to take care of mommy, nothing like telling my son he needs to take care of someone to help him feel better. (Whenever he starts to get anxious and scared about his mommy and his baby sister, I tell him how good of a big brother he will be, and all the things I'll need his help with, and then he is happy as a clam. He is a giver.) I also didn't cry, so I couldn't cry if my son didn't because it would have made him cry. We went home got back in my bed, and slept until 9:30 in my case, and 10 in my son's.
All day it snowed and snowed and snowed, I can't believe how much there was.
After story time we went to JoAnns and got fleece to make a scarf. Since I will wear a scarf most of the winter I figured my son might one too. I also decided buying fleece at JoAnns was our best bet, because so many store bought scarfs are woolly and itchy, and I can't knit. We also got fun projects to do while Daddy is gone. I think its important to do fun things while dad is away, it makes a miss him a little less. Not to say we don't miss him a TON, it helps us from getting sad.
By the way it snowed all day long!
My son did all his crafts that afternoon, they were suppose to last three days. Oh well.
We borrowed Candy Land, and Chutes and Ladders from my sister in law, so my son woke up early Thursday morning, in anticipation of game playing. No need for breakfast. We took a few turns playing Candy Land correctly, when my son decided he had enough, and I wanted to match the color coded cards with the colors on the game board. Apparently he is not quite old enough for Candy Land, but matching is right up his alley. Then he moved on Chutes and Ladders, I didn't even attempt to play it with him, because I was eating breakfast. He spend a good deal of time, talking to the game board players and spinning the spinner calling out numbers. He "played" those two games all morning long.
Although my son gets sad at bedtime because his dad isn't here, life has been business as usual for us. I'm perfectly fine without my husband for a few days, I'm not freaking out at all. I guess I just get dramatically sad right before and after he leaves.
Naptime today finished in tears. Sort of, my son woke up, and found me fine, but once he found me he started bawling. I felt bad I couldn't pick him up, instead he had to walk to his bedroom to get his blanket, and then walk to mine so I could rock him. I held his hand, but I still feel guilty when he is sad and I can't pick him up. We went out to eat for dinner, and my son was so happy. He thought it was so fun to go out with mommy. Bedtime was a process, as my previous post explains. At that point, since I had no one to help me, I wanted to break out in tears, but no one was around to listen, and so I didn't. No one was around to take over, so the problem eventually got solved, although I really wished my husband was around to take over.
Friday morning, my son woke up practically in tears. After 5 minutes of wake time, the tears came, so I got his blanket, and we both crawled back into my bed, and since I was up super late crafting, we fell asleep for another two hours. He played a little bit in the morning, but not much, he was ready to go down for a nap super early. I woke up him from his nap to get his daddy from the airport. He has basically not stopped smiling since. My kid slept a ton while his dad was gone, I don't know if it was because he was sad and missed his dad or if it was because he is just super tired. Unless we had a fun activity like painting a wooden Christmas ornament or playing Candy Land, he was almost always asleep or sucking his thumb in either his room or mine (the blanket isn't allowed anywhere else in the house). I survived perfectly fine for 3 days without a husband, but my son had a real rough time. It makes me nervous to go to the hospital. Hopefully there are no complications, so I only need to stay a day or two. I think last time I was there less than 48 hours. Luckily we have a whole weekend to soak up daddy time.
(Once again this is probably longer than most of you have interest in reading, but its my personal history.)
I swore when my husband was scout master business trips would be easier because he was getting paid. Wrong! The night before he left I was a wreck, because I kept thinking what if something goes wrong, when he was scout master he at least had some spiritual protection being a church leader. (Let's hope he always has spiritual protection.) Since we live so close to the airport my husband decided he would rather have me take him at 5:30 in the morning, then have work pay for his car in long term parking. So we woke up my kid, put on his snow boots and hat, (it was snowing) and drove the 15 minutes to the airport. By the look on my child's face I thought he was going to cry when his dad said good bye to him, but he didn't, dad is good at boosting confidence. He probably told my son it was his job to take care of mommy, nothing like telling my son he needs to take care of someone to help him feel better. (Whenever he starts to get anxious and scared about his mommy and his baby sister, I tell him how good of a big brother he will be, and all the things I'll need his help with, and then he is happy as a clam. He is a giver.) I also didn't cry, so I couldn't cry if my son didn't because it would have made him cry. We went home got back in my bed, and slept until 9:30 in my case, and 10 in my son's.
All day it snowed and snowed and snowed, I can't believe how much there was.
After story time we went to JoAnns and got fleece to make a scarf. Since I will wear a scarf most of the winter I figured my son might one too. I also decided buying fleece at JoAnns was our best bet, because so many store bought scarfs are woolly and itchy, and I can't knit. We also got fun projects to do while Daddy is gone. I think its important to do fun things while dad is away, it makes a miss him a little less. Not to say we don't miss him a TON, it helps us from getting sad.
By the way it snowed all day long!
My son did all his crafts that afternoon, they were suppose to last three days. Oh well.
We borrowed Candy Land, and Chutes and Ladders from my sister in law, so my son woke up early Thursday morning, in anticipation of game playing. No need for breakfast. We took a few turns playing Candy Land correctly, when my son decided he had enough, and I wanted to match the color coded cards with the colors on the game board. Apparently he is not quite old enough for Candy Land, but matching is right up his alley. Then he moved on Chutes and Ladders, I didn't even attempt to play it with him, because I was eating breakfast. He spend a good deal of time, talking to the game board players and spinning the spinner calling out numbers. He "played" those two games all morning long.
Although my son gets sad at bedtime because his dad isn't here, life has been business as usual for us. I'm perfectly fine without my husband for a few days, I'm not freaking out at all. I guess I just get dramatically sad right before and after he leaves.
Naptime today finished in tears. Sort of, my son woke up, and found me fine, but once he found me he started bawling. I felt bad I couldn't pick him up, instead he had to walk to his bedroom to get his blanket, and then walk to mine so I could rock him. I held his hand, but I still feel guilty when he is sad and I can't pick him up. We went out to eat for dinner, and my son was so happy. He thought it was so fun to go out with mommy. Bedtime was a process, as my previous post explains. At that point, since I had no one to help me, I wanted to break out in tears, but no one was around to listen, and so I didn't. No one was around to take over, so the problem eventually got solved, although I really wished my husband was around to take over.
Friday morning, my son woke up practically in tears. After 5 minutes of wake time, the tears came, so I got his blanket, and we both crawled back into my bed, and since I was up super late crafting, we fell asleep for another two hours. He played a little bit in the morning, but not much, he was ready to go down for a nap super early. I woke up him from his nap to get his daddy from the airport. He has basically not stopped smiling since. My kid slept a ton while his dad was gone, I don't know if it was because he was sad and missed his dad or if it was because he is just super tired. Unless we had a fun activity like painting a wooden Christmas ornament or playing Candy Land, he was almost always asleep or sucking his thumb in either his room or mine (the blanket isn't allowed anywhere else in the house). I survived perfectly fine for 3 days without a husband, but my son had a real rough time. It makes me nervous to go to the hospital. Hopefully there are no complications, so I only need to stay a day or two. I think last time I was there less than 48 hours. Luckily we have a whole weekend to soak up daddy time.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Two completely different thoughts
Am I the only who has noticed Cindy McCain does not have the ability to sound like she relates to the average middle class American? From what I've seen about her, she tries really hard to sound down to earth, but just makes herself that much more of heiress. Parents Magazine had a thing about her as a parent, and the Obamas as parents. Although Michelle Obama seems a little controlling as a mother, they at least seemed like average Americans; reading the interview about Cindy McCain was like reading a celebrity try to tell people she is just an average person like you who wears Gucci.
Next thought:
Yesterday morning, my son and I were up earlier enough to say good bye to my husband before he left for work. When we wake up this early, I always find monday mornings traumatic. We got a husband/daddy for 80 hours nonstop, but now all of sudden we are left on our own. My son and I usually get one quite stellar during the day, but it so much more exciting with a third in the house. When I said good bye to my husband I said, I'm going to miss you terribly. He said good, I said don't think I should start getting over this? He said, no, that would mean you are complacant with me. My thought: Isn't life grand?
Next thought:
Yesterday morning, my son and I were up earlier enough to say good bye to my husband before he left for work. When we wake up this early, I always find monday mornings traumatic. We got a husband/daddy for 80 hours nonstop, but now all of sudden we are left on our own. My son and I usually get one quite stellar during the day, but it so much more exciting with a third in the house. When I said good bye to my husband I said, I'm going to miss you terribly. He said good, I said don't think I should start getting over this? He said, no, that would mean you are complacant with me. My thought: Isn't life grand?
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