First Day

Today was the first day of preschool.  (Yes, I let my son dress himself, I try to guide him, but he has the ultimate decision. We favor independence in this house.)

There is are so many thoughts swirling in my head. Number one I hope I can survive driving him, and picking him up everyday four days a week.  Here he is in front of his school. With his get to know you sheet.  I noticed most of the other ones were colored by moms, completely done by moms.  Now there was a lot of writing, so I had to do a lot, but other than the writing, I made him do it himself.  He told me what to write, he colored it.  I'm not the mom that finishes a craft her child starts, or tells him how to do it.  He has free range over his creations, he has his own markers, glue, scissors, paper, he is free to create whatever he wants whenever he wants.

Why we picked preschool.....
(like I said so many thoughts)
  All the school age cousins on one side are homeschool, all the aunts but one on the other side have been school teachers, or will be. Long before my husband and I had a kid, we started talking about what we would do with our kids, actually before we got married, before we dated we discussed the pro cons of both sides.  No matter what we chose we would be contrary to one side.  We have hardly made an over-arching decision for all our kids, but right now its the best for J to be in school.  For a multitude of reasons:

1. I need deadlines, I'm not proactive on my own, my child would be dumber than a rock at 15, if I didn't have the deadlines school provides.  In the last week, we have done more school at home than we have in months. 
2. I felt like my son would benefit from the social interaction
3. My son is like me, he struggles learning from his mom.  If mom tries to teach it, you whine, fuss, cry, complain, anything but a positive learning experience. Dad, another teacher, anyone else can teach it, but not mom, its just too hard when mom teaches.  I feel bad that I was so difficult with my mom.  But I recognize the behavior coming out of my son.  Just like my mom paid a different piano teacher for me, I think it would be the best for my son to have another teacher. 
4. I love having one on one time with my toddler, I forgot, how fun it was to spend one on one time with J when he was a toddler, I think Nan and I will really enjoy our time while J is at school.  Although today, Nan cried as we left J.
5. I was excited to find a reasonably priced co-op preschool, I have to go help out in the classroom, and I  am excited to.  I plan on being very involved in my son's education, I just don't want to be in-charge of a classroom.
6. What it comes down, people have horror stories about public school, people have horror stories about home school. Lots are very opinionated on either side.  But most students, in most places seem to be fine no matter their education source. You hear the horror stories more than success. Its individual choice for each person, each family, each child.  Public school did not fail me, it helped my mom find the resources she needed for me-- her dyslexic child.  I had many teachers, who spent a lot extra time with me to help me succeed.  It was a teacher that first recognized my learning problem.
7. I'm having a bit of buyers remorse, I accidentally signed my son up for the elementary school not closest to our house, its close, just not where the rest of the neighborhood attends.  But for preschool they don't care what school you go to, in comparison to where you live. But every time I see his teacher interact with him, I know I made a good decision.
8. Along with that, the children were released one at a time today.  J was released last, the teacher came out, and whispered, he is really smart.  I said I know, it overwhelms my husband and I, we don't know what to do.  She said, do nothing just enjoy it.  I'll work on some extra stuff for him, so he is challenged, he very gifted.  I'm sure most parents would swell with pride over that, but not me, I well up with confusion and fear.  I am not gift (despite what my parents might tell you), I was never in gifted classrooms, I think I could handle a behavioral problem, or a learning disability more easily.  That's more my territory.  I honestly am overwhelmed a child who when asked what starts with O, says, bulldozer, no I replied thats a Buh, Buh, B.  Oh, you're right, O is in the middle, and then makes hand gestures to show where the o would be in bulldozer.  Or the child, the spent five minutes last night teaching me all about geyser.  (He learned it online, he told me.)
9. But I appreciate a teacher who noticed.  I appreciate a teacher, who will help him feel challenged, I appreciate a classroom to send him to where he can go to be challenged.  Last winter after our Joyschool preschool fell apart, he cried everyday for a long time, because it was over.  He has been asking me since he before he turned three when he gets to go to school.  It was time, and it will be nice not to have my four year old tell me all winter that he is bored.
10. I have a sister in law, who from time to time on her blog, shares her appreciation for teachers who have worked with her child over the years. Through her blog, I too was glad my nephew had great people in his life. Out of all the things for our tax money on, I am support education. For all the things that they could spend our tax dollars on, I value public libraries, parks, schools, teachers, early intervention programs the most. (But preferably de-centralized, I love our federal system) Sure roads are important how else would we use those great resources for children without them, and yeah I guess we need a national defense so our children are also safe to go to school. But the thing that I think is most worrisome is the lack of funding for science endowments.  And all those children who do have access to great teachers and schools.  (I also find it important to feed poor children so they can learn.) Anyway, I got off topic. 
11.  I have only met my son's teacher twice, but I too am glad he has a great teacher. I can tell she is.  Because I like everyone else in the world had crappy teachers, but luckily I rarely remember them, I only remember the great teachers.  

Like I said, Nan and I enjoyed some one on one time, we ran some errands, went for a walk, checked out a man made pond, and played outside.

Not to mention, my children take turns being the lowest common denominator, when it comes to friends and play dates, Nan is the lowest.  But luckily because of the co-op, I will have to ask my friend who has a daughter, a day younger than N to watch her. She will get to go play with kids her age, instead of four year olds. Yes, this might be a good year for all.  After having a colicy newborn one winter, then surviving year one of the MBA the next winter, with a failed joyschool, we are in need of a good winter.  I have high hopes, and with the high hopes hopefully the second year of the MBA will be easier than last.