Hive Free

Yesterday I remembered the REAL reason I started trying to fix my rage. After Christmas my elbows started being itchy, once I got home from our vacation my knees and then the tops of my feet got itchy too. Once it hit my knees I realized I had been getting hives on my elbows for the past two weeks. Hives are miserable and a sure sign for me that I have some emotional trauma, then I got serious about relaxing and de-stressing. I can still tell I have some work to do, but I haven't been itchy since I started my quest, plus it never spread to the rest of my legs, and for that I am grateful.

After Liz's rave review of the LDS church's internet savvy, I signed up for LDS Gems and Family Gems. I figured I need regular reminders of why I want to do the things I do.
Since its Sunday, here are some quotes that have bolstered my desire to stop being angry all the time, especially toward my family.

“The relationship between love and appropriate action is demonstrated repeatedly in the scriptures and is highlighted by the Savior’s instruction to His Apostles: ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments’ (John 14:15). Just as our love of and for the Lord is evidenced by walking ever in His ways (see Deuteronomy 19:9), so our love for spouse, parents, and children is reflected most powerfully in our thoughts, our words, and our deeds (see Mosiah 4:30).”

David A. Bednar, “More Diligent and Concerned at Home,” Ensign, Nov. 2009, 18

As I teenager I listened to quite a few Family Home Evening Lessons on "Itching Ears"-- The wicked take the truth to be hard. When I read that quote I felt like it was cutting to the very being of me. If my love for my family is reflected in my words and deeds I definitely had some work to do. (If you would like to know more about itching ears, email my dad, I'm sure he has a copy of those lessons he gave my brother and me.)

"When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Love of God," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 21

Speaking of Joy, that is what I'm reading about in my scripture study.

I really felt like Isaiah 29:19, gave me a reference on what to do in my life,

The meek also shall increase their joy in the Lord, and the poor among men shall rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.

I have a cut out from the manual in my scriptures from a sunday school class in high school, that reads, "A meek man is defined as one who is not easily provoked or irritated and forbearing under injury or annoyance... The meek man is the strong, the mighty, the man of complete self-mastery..." I know I won't be perfect anytime soon, but that is the perfection of motherhood of young children in my opinion, not easily provoked, irritated or annoyed. As I try to achieve this, I will find motherhood much more joyous.