Hope not quite Faith

Last week I was listening to conference when President Utchdorf's talk He will place you on your shoulders and carry you home" came on.
In the end of his talk He says,
If mortal hands can transform rubble and ruins into a beautiful house of worship, then we can have confidence and trust that our loving Heavenly Father can and will rebuild us. His plan is to build us into something far greater than what we were—far greater than what we can ever imagine. With each step of faith on the path of discipleship, we grow into the beings of eternal glory and infinite joy we were designed to become."
The spirit whispered that's an answer to prayers. I didn't know exactly what was the answer so I have been studying it.
I realize maybe what it is now.
Some how over the years I bought in to Satan's lies. I started to believe as a stay at home mother I wasn't capable of more. I worry about my children growing up because what do I have in my life other than them? If they grow up I won't have anything left. I started to believe I need the chaos in my life. So when he says, "If mortal hands can transform rubble and ruins into a beautiful house of worship, then we can have confidence and trust that our loving Heavenly Father can and will rebuild us. His plan is to build us into something far greater than what we were—far greater than what we can ever imagine."
I have hope that he will take me full of scars and turn me into something more than I can imagine but right now I'm not sure I believe.
Right now in my mind I'm a pile of rubble and I'm not sure how I'll one day a beautiful cathedral.
For pictures go here:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04/he-will-place-you-on-his-shoulders-and-carry-you-home?lang=eng&_r=1
Lastly I'll add its embarrassing to admit this. I think, shouldn't I have the faith it takes to believe this? But I don't its only a hope. (Satan is ruthless he kicks you while you're down. The Lord would never make me feel guilty that I have hope in a concept. But Satan does, he doesn't even want me to have faith but yet he tells me I'm inadequate for not having it because he knows how to mock faith from every level.)