It hasn't been

In case you thought all this moving and house hunting has been rainbows and butterflies I want to set the record straight.
It hasn't been.
There are days I'm so angry.
So frustrated.
Days I'm in bed having a panic attack shaking because I don't know what choice to make for my family.
Who's idea was it anyway to move to the hottest market this area has ever seen.
If I was standing face to face to the Lord I would have probably screamed I don't know what you want me to do!
Instead I've had some very distraught prayers filled emotional screaming.

But I guess you have to opposition in all things. How would I know the spirit is talking if I didn't know the dark panic of this problem is too big and too tall for me to ever know. (By the way I hate this gospel principle I don't ever want to experience the bad.)

Through it all I'm sure the Lord is standing there patting my head saying there there just like when I toddler throws a fit because the park takes 10 minutes to walk to. I'm sure my spirit is only had the toddler equivalent. I'm just barely learning how to speak the language of eternities. I'm just barely learning how to walk by light.