Dreams

Did I write about the marriage seminar Brent and I went to months ago?
The therapist talked about goals, and how after you have all these other emotional levels met you have to have goals for yourself.
I felt like I was doing great on the checklist of having my life and relationship in order 5 minutes before this.
She started talking about the dreams and goals, and I started crying. That is what was missing in my life. I knew something was missing, but I couldn't put a finger on it.
I cried multiple times in the next few days, the emotional toll was too big.
Then I picked myself up, pulled up my big girl panties, I decided to tackle this.

(I should point out, that she said the lack of goals and dreams is what causes people to up and leave after 10-15-20 years. When people say, I didn't realize anything was wrong and then she/he just up and left. She also said the more effective a person is, the more likely they are to give up the goals and dreams.)

So I've spent months wondering what my goals were.
I think I did post about this. I was trying to decided what I want to do one day when my last baby starts 1st grade. What are my aspirations?

For a while I couldn't find any dreams that didn't involve anyone in my family.
I didn't feel like it was fair to them, to place my happiness in their life choices, so those didn't work.
I then tried to find something that was me and only me. I eventually came up with some things.

But then last week, I remembered my goal, the goal I've had since Brent and I were very young. My desire for this type of thing was the reason I was able to give up all those plans I had made in high school in lieu of choosing Brent.
It wasn't this specific 11 years ago. But now it is.

My goal is to go on a mission with my husband in every continent in the world. (Other than maybe Antarctica because that doesn't have a permanent population.)

Its a pretty overarching goal, it pretty much effects every major choice we make over the next 20 or 30 years. It changes the way we budget, the choices we make for our kids, it effects the jobs we take, it effects the reasons we go to church. It changes what we spend money on, what we buy. It changes so much...

Its a pretty awesome to have a goal, I feel a lot more grounded.