Not reading

Have you been wondering what I am reading?
Well its a big secret I HAVEN'T BEEN!
I know its a tragedy.
Whatever toxicity that built up in my brain from postpartum depression caused my brain to really struggle with reading again. My dyslexia never has truly gone away, but after about the first year of college I have never struggled at compensating for it, until this summer/fall. I pick up a book and I feel like I'm 15 again, the words jump all over the page. The depression caused my dyslexia to come out guns blazing. So honestly I haven't been reading. I struggled through one book in September for book group and Brent read a book to me and my oldest in October. He also read The Hobbit to us, but I'm not sure how much I listened to, because I can't remember it at all.
Its actually quite embarrassing. I usually read about two books a month, I've read one book in 5 months! People know I'm a reader and so keep asking me if I've read anything interesting lately. The other night someone asked me what book did I read most recently. I was horrified with myself, I truly couldn't remember. (I looked up the book group email.) So it make it up to myself, I read a chapter last night. I'm so proud.

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I really quite enjoyed this book, but I hardly loved it. I almost read book 2, but never quite made time for it. Well it reality I'm in a bit of a reading slump. I'd probably rate it 3 and half stars. Spoiler alert, I loved the end of the book. I loved what she had to hear to agree. It was a fun read.


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The Giver by Lois Lowry
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I wanted to love this book. Everyone loves this book right? I remember in fourth grade when EVERYONE read this book, except for me, I didn't have an interest, I'm dyslexic and so I hated reading in fourth grade. This is THE original YA dystopia book, we read most of the YA dystopian out there but this book was fairly boring. My husband and I read it with our 8 year old, so it gave us a ton of great discussions but over all the plot was just *yawn*.
Although I would completely recommend it to any one who wants to discuss choice with their late elementary school age child. My 8 year old has two younger brothers, one a baby and one a two year old, so when he found out their society euthanizes he shed a tear or two. We discussed the topic and hopefully he felt better... What I found extremely sad is when they thought love was an outdated emotion that showed weakness. What a pathetic society.
The book more unique then most of the other YA dystopian because most of the books don't seem to "fix" people's abilities to think, reason, and love, they just try to outlaw it without actually taking it away. The Giver's society was able to stop it. I also found it interest that the bottom of the bottom became birth mothers they were literally breeding a dumber society. But it made me wonder about the ruling elite, were their children/them born of the dumbest of females? Females that were only fit for manual labor?


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Today a librarian that hosts toddler story time at the library asked me if I was going to sign up for the adult winter reading program. Hmm, I said I'll think about it. I'm a pathetic adult I'd rather not try than fail. I should probably sign up to push myself. That has been my goal for the new year to teach myself how to read chapter books again.
I do read all the time still, I'm always reading articles online. I read print magazines too. I read story books to my kids. I actually haven't had a problem reading print magazines, or story books. I'm not sure why the ink on books reacts differently to my brain. When my daughter was reading the I see Sam books this summer I didn't have a problem reading them because I can read simple sentences but the pages definitely bothered my eyes/brain. You know that feeling when you are reading outside on a sunny day, you look up for something then it takes a minute to focus on the page before your eyes can adjust to the change light? Looking at a page that bothers my brain is similar to that, except it takes more work to get my eyes to focus so my brain can interrupt the letters.