About the time I moved to our apartment, I started second guessing my chosen field. It went along quite nicely with my quarter life crisis. I think I mentioned this before, but I wondered why I didn't pick a better field that is easier to share with motherhood. How come I know longer play the piano, or violin (oh yes, I hated practicing, and sitting still)? How come I didn't go into Education (oh yes I don't like kids that much)? How come I didn't do something like cosmology (oh yes, I don't even like getting myself ready let alone other people)? But then I remember, I really love what I studied for my undergrad.
The few times my kids and I end up on campus, with my husband, I end up seeing something that says, Political Science, and then I become so jealous that my husband GETS to go to school again. When he first started we went with him to bookstore, and his marketing books were on one side of the aisle and the Polsci books were on the other, and I almost took a picture with my phone, but I didn't want the bookstore employees to see me and yell at me. They run a tight ship at those university bookstore. A few weeks ago the kids and I went up to campus to see my husband, he had been studying up there all day, and a final that night, it was the kids only chance to see him all day. After he went to go take his final, my son wasn't ready to go home yet, so we were wondering around campus. My son happened to have an accident right in front of the building, that houses the political science department. The crazy thing is, he NEVER has accidents anymore, seriously never, and he had just gone a few minutes earlier. It was like divine intervention to get me into that building to remind me how much I love my chosen field. In some ways, I never want my babies to grow up, I want to always have lazy mornings in bed, and slobbery kisses, and hugs. See those chubby cheeks, and those fat short fingers. And other times I can't wait until all my kids are in school, and I can do something more. Like get a masters, or do something political scientific regularly. At this point, I don't have time for anything other than reading newspapers, with my husband gone so much. If he wasn't in school, I could do something in addition to being a stay at home mom, but right now, I have to be at home all the time with my kids, because they don't understand why that see daddy so rarely, so it wouldn't be fair to them.
Yeah, I get jealous that Greg gets to do school and more school...for years on end! I'm super jealous, in fact. But when I'm honest with myself, I know I couldn't handle any school--even one class--combined with little kids at home. I'm not sure if that realization is depressing or liberating.
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