Other People's Babies

I've been doing a lot of picture-y stuff lately.
I've decided I look far better holding other people's new babies than my own.

 Then I realize of course I do! I haven't just had a new baby, I'm not exhausted, I don't feel crappy, my pants fit, my hair isn't falling out and overall hormones aren't wrecking havoc on me.
(This picture is from February 2010.)

Serving

Remember my perfect marriage quote?

Well I've still been thinking about that.

I still agree with it, when I'm in a temporary bad mood, or going through a rough patch (like postpartum depression) my husband is an absolute peach and picks up so much slack. 

When he is in a bad mood I think of it as a blessing, because it reminds me to pray for him and to serve him. Serving people is not a natural talent of mine so I often forget so I'm grateful for the reminder. I know that sounds beyond cheesy but its true.

It never occurred to me to pray for my husband until a few years ago when he ended up in a conversation beyond his control that was really not a situation he or I wanted to him to be in. Is that weird that we were married for 8 years before I ever started praying for my husband?! There are countless conference talks about praying for your children, but your spouse is a different story...  Maybe there are plenty but I honestly never remember hearing any until just recently in the past year or so. Back to the point since it rarely happens I really do think its a blessing when my husband gets grumpy, so I remember to serve him and pray for him.

Affluenza

Thanks again to Facebook I read "What Really Happens When We Give Kids Everything They Want" (You may say I spend too much time on FB, which is probably true, but I've always loved reading magazines and human interest stories, so I think its a technological version.) 

I don't feel like my kids are too spoiled. In comparison of the world yes, we are over-consuming Americans, but as far as american standards my children spend far more time whining they didn't get what they wanted then with smiling with consumer driven faces. That is actually one of the foremost reasons I want to spend time abroad, I want perspective. Actually I feel like have plenty of perspective there is so many cultural norms in the US that makes me sick to my stomach. Many of which I participate in, for example Christmas. But I'm not good at fighting off our over consumption. I want to teach myself that stuff doesn't matter.

 Anyway, this is the point of the post. The above mentioned article gets into the affluenza virus. Have you ever heard of affluenza? Wikipedia tells us, Affluenza, a portmanteau of affluence and influenza, is a term used by critics of consumerism. The book Affluenza: The All-Consuming Epidemic defines it as "a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety, and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more." Full disclosure on my pride I have no debt other than my house.

In the  article she references another article that shares this,

Diagnosing Affluenza

To conquer the affluenza virus, though, one must first recognize it within himself and ask why and from where it comes. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you frequently buy things you do not really need?
• When shopping, are you unable to control how much you spend?
• Do you envy the lifestyles of the rich and famous?
• Do you feel bad when your neighbors have things you do not?
• Do you measure yourself by what others have?
• Do you ever use shopping as a means of escape?
• Do you use your possessions to impress others?
• Do you compare your possessions with what your peers have? If so, do you experience a feeling of superiority that yours are better?
• Do you speak often about the things you want?
• Do you find yourself complaining about the things you want but cannot afford?
• Do you think of spending your money more often than saving it?
• Do you often think your life would be more complete if you had more money and possessions?

If you find yourself answering yes to any of the above, you may well be infected!

I'm embarrassed to admit I said yes to more than 10 of those! Honestly I don't know why I'm sharing that detail of myself on my blog with all of you people I don't know! I just found out there are 120 of you! Ok, I know plenty of you, which might make it all more embarrassing.

I want to shrink these questions down, and tape them to my credit card or wallet. Maybe print them on the back of my shopping list each week.

Yikes I have issues.

I'm slowly slowly working on them. One step forward, five steps back. For years I use to get a rush to walk out of a store holding shopping bags, oh it was a wonderful feeling. Then that was replaced with guilt that I over stepped my budget, and the resulting shame and anger. I experienced that for a few years. Now depending on what I bought and how much money I spent I occasionally get that guilt again. If I stay home I'm fine, I can go months without shopping, but I walk into a store and all of a sudden I'm reminded of everything I never knew I wanted! Although it all depends on the store, I live in a small town with a grand total of three chain stores, walmart, kohls and home depot. Oh wait we have TWO walgreens, and two grocery stores. That's what I love about where I live, there is no shopping near and it definitely changes the lifestyle of the town. In my opinion for the good. Sometimes when I need a break from all my babies at home I go wander in Kohls, especially when I get a $10 off coupon. Many Many days, I struggle at spending even those $10. I can't find anything I would want to clutter my home with. I buy my kids far too many clothes at back to school time, so I never need those, their toys are overpriced and the same as walmart and I have the wrong body type for most of the clothes at kohls. Anyway I definitely need to reevaluate my relationship to money and those around me. Why do I use stuff and money to compensate for my feelings of inadequacy? Why do I feel so inadequate? Is it me, or is it society?

Bizarrely enough a year or so ago I checked out the book Affluenza, I couldn't get into it. I wanted to, I want to cure my disease but it bored me.

Possessions

Thanks to facebook, I read this article, called "6 Reasons We Hang onto Possessions and 7 Solid Reasons to Let Them Go". Point 7 was eye opening, I have never thought about it this way before,

7. Possessions give us more to apologize for, climb over and argue over.Possessions encourage greed. The more we focus on material things, the more we tend to brag, hoard, compete, and want more. The more we get the less we seem to be satisfied with what we already have.

Possessions encourage greed, I'm going to mull this around in my head for a few days. I think its true...

Then she quotes,

Bertrand Russell said, “It is the preoccupation with possession more than anything else, that prevents man from living freely and nobly.”

That is so true for my life, my husband is a dreamer than comes up with so many different ideas for adventures in our lives and often I feel like the only thing holding us back in my attachment to stuff. I wish it wasn't like that, but its true. I don't want to leave because I like our stuff, a direct quote from me, I don't want to leave our swing set, etc etc But we just got a new bed...

 The older I get the less attach to stuff I am, there is still hope yet.

Funny antidote:
Years ago when I was a newlywed, I was watching a movie or something with my husband, my brother, and his wife- my sister in law. Afterward we were joking and my brother said to Brent you don't have to worry about Lesli running off, the only place she would go is back to Texas. I can't remember who said the next line but next it was said, that nah, she would never want to leave all her stuff, she likes her wedding presents too much. Oh how true it was/is. Sad day, that I was so attached my plates!  I mean don't get me wrong, I don't want to leave my husband, but its sad that it was noticed the things I was most attached to were THINGS. That being said it was all said in jest, but it was also all true.

I'm a princess

Just found this old picture of me on the computer. 

It's about 5 years old. 

I just wanted everyone to know, I'm a princess!

Say What?!

I thought I had about 10 people read my blog. Turns out I'm totally wrong!

121 page views? Who are all you 121 people?
You know I do have a comment section. ;)

Perfect Marriage

I don't remember where I was or who I was talking. But afterward the other day I said to Brent, they say no one has a perfect marriage, but I disagree. I think ours is pretty perfect. He said and if its not its nearly as perfect as it could it be. I thought about it for a few days. I whole hardly agree with this quote.

My husband seems to have far fewer faults than me, seems to be much more perfect of a person that me. Whether or not that is true, the point is I believe it.