Two more

 Its true 3 years later.

Look

Look my big kids use to be babies! 

I miss my boy's pudginess and my daughter's miniature fashions, but other than that, we're good.  

Please note, my daughter who had been walking for five months is swaddled with her arms out.
My son is four in that picture! Four, that is what age Nan is.  I can't process such comparisons/information.
But yes, I think her face has a similar amount of baby-ness on preschooler's body.

Repeat pictures from social networking

Pining

For various reason Brent has been gone two weekends each month for way too many months in a row.  But the positive thing about this, is I have no doubt I'm still in love with him.  I sit around moody and sad when he isn't around. Pining for my love.
Quite similar to my daughter who screams twice as much when he is MIA.
Have no fear they went on a french fry date today.  That's their daddy daughter date.  My oldest doesn't like french fries so when he asks why isn't he going we ask do you like french fries?  She gushes about gushes about how wonderful it is to go out with daddy.  They go after lunch while the oldest is in school, so he isn't around when she gushes about how special it is to go out with daddy.
I too love french fries so I always ask if I can go, she tells me no because then it wouldn't be as special.

8 months later

I've been thinking about writing this blog post for a while. Apparently I'm finally getting around to it.
8 months seems to be a special time for me, and I mean that with the highest sarcasm.
I am definitely feeling some postpartum depression. But I've done it before, all long with normal depression, and prenatal depression.  I don't think I got postpartum depression the first time, but I definitely got it with the second, and it was not good, it at a similar time.  This time Brent and I are paying more attention.  So I know just don't do it.  When you want to crawl in bed and never come out, just don't do it (What my prenatal depression was like). When you want to stare at the all for hours on end, because you see no point to moving don't do it (My post postpartum depression last time).  I often want to both, but I know better, I know not to get in to the comatose. For some reason I apparently go comatose when depressed.
 Although it would be lovely if cleaning was an effective anti-depressant.  Its not, I do try to clean on a regular basis because a clean house makes me feel better, but its a fine line of how much cleaning I can do because I get overwhelmed as the family trashes the house so many times a day.
Crafting seems to be fairly effective anti-depressant.  Its like compulsively shopping, but instead I try to only spend a couple of bucks one each craft, so much cheaper. I craft a TON right now.

Lastly, I did not write this as a cry for help.  I am not looking for phone calls, well wishes, or pats on the back (whether physical or electronic).  I wrote this as a record of my life.  I wrote this so I have a history of not only the good or silly, but also bad. Please do not call or email with the sole reason to hope you are helping me, I will be thoroughly annoyed if you are checking up on me, because I feel "blue". I have never liked "cheerleaders" in my life, I don't like people yelling and shouting you can do it, you are awesome.  I'm not sure why that drives me crazy, but it does.  So don't try, I especially don't like it when I'm grumpy, which I am.  Life is fine, sure it has it struggles but when does it not?  I get up, I am completely am to take care of my family, which I do each day. I'm grateful for all the opportunities to take care of my family, and for my ability to do so. I have plenty of happy moments, and days, its just sometimes I have this illness jumping on my shoulders, pushing me down.  But life will go on, and one day, I'll realize its been more than weeks since I've felt like this.

Goal met

When we bought our house two years ago, made the goal to repaint the entire interior in two years. Everything NEEDED to be painted. Over conference weekend we painted the last two bathrooms! Hooray! Goal met. We painted them the same colors, mostly because it was so much easier that way.
Here is the basement/guest bathroom.

And here is the upstairs/kid's bathroom.

I hate this bathroom, it makes me want to cry. It has so much water damage.  If we didn't live in one of the driest climates in this country, the whole bathroom would have fallen into the kitchen a long time ago.  But repainting the walls makes me hate it just a little bit less.  We bought a house with the dumbest showers in town.

I can't believe we've been here for two years, mostly because we've never lived anywhere for two years. Plus two years is half of Nan's life. That is a long time! She doesn't ever remember moving. Have no fear, Brent does get restless being in this house for so long. He is always showing me real estate listings. Finally he showed me houses I was interested in so I told him to call up our friend who is a Realtor  but he didn't call him, he isn't ready to move. Thankfully, I'm not done with this house. We still need to paint the exterior and get new countertops. Oh and carpets. Plus I really really want to frame the bathroom mirrors. I'm thinking birthday present.
By the way I would have met my goal much sooner if I didn't get pregnant, I haven't painted anything in a year.

More baby

In the last few days, baby has figure out how to self feed. For weeks, daddy and I were thrilled baby didn't have the fine motor to pick up crumbs on the floor. But now he does. Sadly now I have to sweep all day long, thankfully it makes meal easier now. He also works diligently at trying to pull himself up. He did it in his crib last week. This afternoon he pulled himself up on the library box. He was so proud of himself.

8 months

I think baby is 8 months. He loves to shriek. Ever since his roseola, he thinks he is too old for baby food. He'll eat mush if no one else is eating, if we are eating he wants table scraps. He loves burritos! (Rice, black beans, tortillas, and cheese.) He is trying to learn how to pull himself up, in fact he pushed himself up from my lap and stood on his own for 2 seconds. Then fell on his bum. He works so hard at standing, and still loves to jump.

72 Hour Kits

After years of procrastination, I decided it was finally time to check our 72-hour kits.

I hate 72-hour kits. 

To me 72 Hour kits equal the seven layers of Hell.

Other than coveting I'm pretty sure, being prepared is the hardest commandment for me.

(Its true, I covet things, like jeans that aren't too short, and my neighbor's new exterior paint job.  I'm trying to be better, but its so very hard... :(

That being said, 72 hour kits could potentially be life saving, so a necessary evil.

I decided to finally act on the advice of going through 72 hour kits every 6 months, during conference.

I would have failed without my husband's gumption.

But they could be so life saving.  After Katrina, Ike, and Sandy, I know we need something! 

But we started! I now I have a change of clothes for everyone, three pairs of underwear, and a pair of wool socks.

Here is what we've done so far:

1. Unload the old backpack kits
2. Pray mice aren't inside 
3.  Cry
4.  Watch my husband laugh at how ill prepared we are
5.  Cry
6.  Laugh
7.  Cry
8.  Decide what the purpose of our 72 hour kit is. This is what my husband decided:
1. Keep Warm
2. Keep Dry
3. Stay fed
4. Stay informed
5. Stay Safe
6. Stay Hydrated
9. Cry some more
10. Facebook and Instagram my sorrows
11. Research online, I went to pinterest, Brent went to forums and threads 
12. Throw away all the nasty good that has been in there since 2005.  
13. Have a real discussion,-- my conclusion:  I never ever want to be anywhere like the super dome.  Three possible scenarios, 
1. We are locked inside our house for a week or so.  (Mental note, we need a honey pot if that happens, and water stops. We need a generator. Oh I feel overwhelmed.)
2. We have to evacuate, if we have enough gas to get out of town, we try to make it to a grandma's house.  Need gas for that, which is why I always fill up at a half a tank.  Talk about the possibility of storing an extra can or so of gas in the garage that we cycle every 6 months.
3. Red Dawn-- We have to hike to the hills. Pray that doesn't happen, if it does, pack up backpacking gear.   
14. Tell my husband I know cotton kills, but all the kids have is cotton clothes, and cotton clothes are better than no clothes, so decided to start there. (When roughing it outdoors you don't want to be in cotton. Wool, synthetic, etc are where its at.  But cotton is cheap, and that is what my children's dressers are full of.)
15. Realize I can't prepare for everything, so focus on number 2.  If that is the case, we have to get out of town as soon as physically possible.  That is where a shelf in the garage with water and backpacks is useful. Start on scenario #2
16. Get a change of clothes for everyone, three pairs of underwear (yeah we still have accidents in our family), pajamas, and wool socks. 
17. Smile. Tell my husband, I feeling so much better, I can do this, I can be prepared.  We can do this, I feel accomplished. I feel like this is the farthest I've made it in five years.
18. Decide we need case of emergency/luggage tags for the 72 hour kits with our vital information.  One of the useful things I read from pinterest, is the lady decided she wanted her kids to be prepared if worse case scenario they got separated so all of her food was stuff the kids could eat without a stove or can opener.  So I made matching tags for everyone thanks, to Avery's Free Template Downloads. 
1. Name
2. DOB
3. Allergies or No known Allergies
4. Fully Immunized (Since my children are)
5. Mom's contact info, name, cell #, email
6. Dad's contact info, etc
7. Both Grandma's phone numbers, who live in different states
8. (Normally I don't like all my info out there, but if something is happens more info is better.)

That is as far as I've gotten.  But I feel like I can do this now! Here is my future steps

1. Get diapers and wipes for baby kit
2. Get two gallon ziploc bags, put clothes in one, food per day (or meal) in others. Then put in backpacks.
3. Store water in each backpack.
4. Finish making luggage tags, laminate them
5. Date Night, 72 hour food shopping.  If Brent bought the food he would get great survival food, but my children would never touch it, and the only worst than being displaced is being displaced with whiny kids.  If I went shopping by myself, my husband would look at what I bought and say are you nuts?  So for our next date we are going together, and agreeing before we get out of the car, that we will both be mature, rational, and patient as we try to accomplish our task.
6. Clear of a shelf in the garage for 72 hour survival.
7. Get two or three more cases of water to store on garage shelf.
8. Store family backpacking tent with water and backpacks
9. Fret about lack of sleeping bags. (You can't store sleeping bags stuffed in stuff sacks or their loft/warming ability disappears.)
10. Compile a more in-dept list of emergency contact information and other stuff, for inside the backpack.  Laminate.  Place in the backpacks.
11. Change clothes, by the time I finish all that, it will probably be October and time to go through it again.

Oh my goodness, I feel like super woman.  I have never before had a game plan when it came to 72 hour kits.  I've always felt like hiding under the couch instead.  I see all these lists and wonder what the heck, why does every member of the family need a Book of Mormon for 72 hours? Really my genealogy on a USB stick, no no. Those lists are not for me. Those lists have more stuff than would fit in my car. A case of TP? really? 72 hours a case?! I can't work off those lists. My kids are picky eaters, and clothes that fit are more important than a Ham radio. So I've decided to work on the basics. Clothes that fit, every 6 months and food my kids would eat.  Like craisins, fruit snacks, granola bars, dry ramen noodles (yes, cooked would be better, but they will eat dry if the stove doesn't work.)

And an emergency contact luggage tag, if the worst would happen and they got separated from me. I'm not trying to build a bunker underground, I'm just trying to insure my children's survival.  That is a goal I can work on.

I'm also working on a car kit.  I live where it snows, snow boots in the car if something happened would be invaluable   Even if they are just cheap boots from walmart.  Or the lame older one that you pulled out of the goodwill bag in my case.  Thankfully the bag had not been dropped off yet.

CTR 4

Yesterday, my daughter drew this cute picture of Jesus hugging her in primary.

On a side note, she just barely started drawing pod people, and just started writing Ns. In a way I thought her artistic fine motor skills were behind other kids her age from stable homes. (I knew she wasn't truly behind how a doctor would measure.) Then she was cuting paper and a child quite a bit older than her said, wow you are really good at cutting. And it clicked my daughter has focused her skills on other artistic pursuits. Half the kids her age and older can barely hold scissors, and Nan can practically cut a straight line.
She also has a far greater interest in filling in the entire coloring space then coloring in the lines. I actually love to watch her color, because I can almost see her brain say yeah, I could try and color in the lines, but why bother, I want 100% completion. When I pursue creative outlets I'm a mess! As are my kids, you can't let cleanliness get in the way of creativity. Although yesterday my daughter did ask, "mom can I cut paper if I cut over the trash?" Sure!