Will sound like code if your not Mormon.

First off, I recently said I don't always like my calling. True I do not always love it, just like not everything of motherhood is fantastic. (You can click on my potty training adventures to pick up my least favorite part of motherhood. I normally like my calling, I have been doing it for almost two years, in two different wards, under three different primary presidencies. It is a very humbling calling for me, I feel ill prepared. I don't feel like me and 8-11 year old girls are on the same plain. I never participated in Activity Days, because I am too old, but I wanted to believe in the organization, so I pretty much read everything I could find on lds.org about it. I totally believe! The world is becoming more wicked, and children need more support than they did previously. They are faced with so much more and a younger age than ever before, so they need a chance to get together outside of Sunday to have good wholesome fun. I got to the point I really enjoyed my calling and I was sad I was leaving those girls. Then they called me back to Activity Days in my new ward. I laugh at the bishopric member when he asked me, I thought it was some sort of joke. It has been a completely different experience, I started off with two girls in this ward now I have three. I wish there was another 10 girls in this ward like my last for them all to interact with. I rarely have two successful activities in a row because when you only start off with two its easy to have no one show. My new, third girl just joined the church, her mom is not a member. Neither my co-leader or I have been able to figure out how to incorporate this girl yet. Saturday royally sucked, the girl wanted to come to a Stake Activity Days, but her mom didn't let her. I felt terrible about it all day, things should have happened different but yet they didn't. I stew and stress when things go bad. Unfortunately, I wasn't the best mom, from a crappy morning, I snapped at my son for having too many accidents. After literally making myself sick over the whole business, I realized I can't change anything that already happened, and I need to use the atonement in my life, and turn it over to the Lord. I do the best I can, ask for help (a lengthy email to the primary presidency) and move on, with hope and faith in the Atoning Sacrifice of the Lord. Part of me is so overwhelmed with lack of successful activities I want to be released, and part of me wants to have a successful summer, and when I leave the ward in August leave my calling feeling like I made a difference. Not for my own pride, but hoping it helped the girls. As it is, I keep remembering my four successful activities in this ward, and remembering what one of the girl's mom and older sister (who incidentally is my age) told me about the girl loving activity days. Hmm, you think the Prophet ever has days like this?
Overall, it made me very appreciative to my uncle when he said motherhood is very becoming to me, and I look happier each time he sees me. (Or something to that effect.) Some days, you just really need a complement the day after.

Daddy Daughter

My daughter already knows computers are very exciting.  

An Adams

This darling little girl of mine thinks she is an Adams. Adams is my paternal grandma, my daughter's great grandma. They naturally wake up super early. Many mornings, my daughter wakes up anywhere from 5:30-6:30. I told her yesterday if she was going to keep this up, we were going to ship her off to live with my dad or my grandma, someone who wakes up early. After my sister finishes her dissertation, I figured she might work too. I do not enjoy waking up early, mothering this child is the first time I've woken up this early since early morning seminary.

She obviously took this little conversation to heart. She woke up at 4:30 to eat and stayed asleep until 8. 8 is much more doable, but my favorite is 9. Sadly enough even when I wake up at 6 to take care of her, I'm only annoyed for a minute. She starts eating, and the hormones start rushing through my blood, and I can't help but love every minute she is awake.

Self Portait

I found this on my camera, I guess my three year old needed a composition of self portraits, I put them together in the collage format for him. That's what mom's are for.

Goblin Valley at its finest

While on vacation I took a set of pictures with the intention of making a panoramic image of Goblin Valley. Canon creates some pretty good software for this purpose if you happen to have it...However I was booted into Ubuntu and didn't want to try and get the commercial software that came with my camera to work through Wine, so I decided to see what the free software world could do for me. It took about 2 min to find Hugin and have it installed and importing images. Not knowing what I was doing it took me about 5-10 min of mindless clicking around in the software before it somehow output this image:


Makes you wonder why more people don't make the plunge to Linux. It also makes you wonder why you go to work all day instead of playing capture the flag down among the "apple" rocks as some goofy little kid directly related to me would call them.

Tulips

Two weeks ago

After multiple pictures of my son, he wanted to take a pictures of me.

I'll be honest

I'll be honest sometimes I despise my calling. I find it the most difficult age (8-11) in the church to work with. After working with the age for two years I still absolutely nothing about it. They are too young to do anything without their parents help, but not old enough for their parents to care. Not to mention for the past two years, I've always felt like my organization for the girls is like an island apart from the rest of the ward. I also do not like stake activities, no matter what age they are written for. Three hours?! for eight year olds?!
As I was complaining about all this in further detail to my husband, he said then ask to be released. I said you know I won't do that. With all this sad, I still don't quite understand how people can tell a bishop no. Or how someone doesn't feel guilty if they don't give their calling their all.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Saturday morning cartoons look a little different in our house.

Even if they are watching them on a laptop my kids are still just as cute. (Obviously these pictures were posed.)

In other exciting news. My daughter voluntarily laughed today. Her brother was playing around her, and she was so excited to see him playing, she was laughing. Previously we had only heard her laugh when she was in a particularly good mood, and we happened to be tickling her.
Plus, I had date night tonight, and we went to the movies. Sure my daughter wakes me up at 6:30 everything morning (the last time I woke up that early I was in seminary), but at least I can put her to bed, and catch a 7:30 movie with just my husband. We missed last month, but hopefully we can keep the goal and make it habit.

Vacation Part 3.5

More hiking pictures.

Our three year old was pretty much like what you would expect a three year old to hike like. Slow and poky, he had to stop at each flower or rock.

Which meant Daddy and Daughter went off exploring on their own, while my son examined each tomato rock. His own naming.

I really just don't know how you other bloggers upload millions of pictures to one post, I am so lazy so a quickly made a collage.

The returning hike, I carried the babe, and my husband put the three year old on his shoulders. We hiked rapid speed like we like to do, and got to the car quickly and tiredly.

Vacation Part 3

We were planning on camping at Goblin Valley, but we were pretty much done with the heat, and still had a few hours to burn until camping time, so we moved on to Capitol Reef National Park, since neither my husband or I had been. We found a campsite set up, and then the wind picked up very very strong. Practically blew over our tent while I was in it with the children. Our tent is rather cheap and does not have a high wind chill factor, so we decided it would not be a good idea to keep our snotty nose children in it for the night. Literally all of us had picked up colds some where. So we drove back to town and found a motel. It was nice to put everyone to bed clean including myself.

We met this interesting man from NYC during our Continental breakfast. He talked to us for about an hour about all the places he had been. For the last few years he has come out west every summer, and for 2-3 weeks straight he and his wife drive through national parks, but doesn't hike or camp. He clearly has no small children, N babe was about spent with the car by the end. He was a character. He didn't really care to listen to anything we wanted to add to the conversation so we stopped trying to add anything, and just kept smiling and nodding. He said seeing the grand canyon was amazing, to see something that big and not hear any noise. My husband and I laughed at that later. That is the last thing we expect looking at something large in the desert. Plus he pulled out his wallet, it was about three inches thick. I had never seen a wallet like that in real life, it was just like the Seinfeld episode with George's wallet. But seriously this man's wallet was larger than George's.

Capitol Reef was very interesting its all desert like southern utah, except for this little piece called Fruita valley, which is completely green and orchards.

We also went hiking. J couldn't wait to go hiking. He always talks about being a hiking boy.

We decided to leave that afternoon, the park is pretty small. We could have gone hiking another day, but N babe was pretty much done with vacation. She was sick of her carseat, and her lack of nap schedule. Not to mention we all felt rather crappy with our runny noses and stuffy heads. Brent still took Wednesday off like planned, but instead of hiking we got things done around the house. The vacation was long over due, I hadn't been on vacation in over a year. Which is a long time for me, I like to get out quarterly. My husband and I had planned two vacations that we didn't get to go on because of a change in job, and pre term contractions. I was relieved when out of the blue Brent said lets go. Our kids had so much fun camping, I decided we should go for a few days each spring and fall, before its too cold or too hot.

Vacation Part 2

After our campsite lost the shade around noonish, my son said he was ready to go find a new campsite. So we hopped in our car for part two. Goblin Valley. It was very neat but also really hot. J loved running around among them. Most people drove in paid $8 and looked down from the cover pavilion and then drove away. All four of us, ran around down there for about an hour after eating lunch. Then the boys went back down for probably another hour while the girls sat in the shade.

J first called them marshmallow rocks, then called them apple rocks, and still does. Apparently this is the only place there is a grouping like this on earth.

I loved seeing all the lines in the rocks as we drove.

Vacation Part 1

A week ago my husband woke up and said do you want to go to the grand canyon on Sunday. I didn't know if he was serious. This is the type of guy a married, all of sudden we are up and gone. We decided the grand canyon was too far. So Sunday afternoon we found ourselves camping at the Green River. We had so much fun. And now I'm thinking longingly about owning river front property on the green river.

The baby loved the water, the big brother thought it was a little cold for his taste, and stayed out but threw lots of rocks.

Monday morning when we woke up, the baby decided to show off her new crawling skill. This is how my son babysat his sister while we were taking the tent down.

I felt like I was in a box canyon. It wasn't really since a river was running though it, it just looked like that. I felt like I was in the middle of an old western. Lots were filmed in the bottom half of the state so... I watched on one time with my dad I think, about a box canyon with a cave full of gold. Minus the river this is exactly what the set looked like. Apparently my husband had a relative who claimed the same thing. Although maybe my father in law was just pulling my husband's leg.

LinkedIn

Two weeks ago my husband went in for a job interview he didn't really care about. Now two weeks later, when he says, "should I go check my email to see if I heard from the company? They are suppose to call but maybe they'll just email if I don't get it." I'm dying in fear. A job he originally ignored is what we really want. I am scared to death he might get an email. I won't even blog about this except my husband doesn't really get disappointed so he tells everyone and anyone about possibilities. I never like to tell anyone about anything. But since he has already told anyone who has called him in the past two weeks. I'm blogging to proclaim my fear. Oh am I nervous. Supposedly we will hear on Friday.
And if Monday comes and he didn't get the job, life will go on. And in two more weeks, we will barely even remember this phase.
Here's hoping... and praying.
Take home message from all of this is, my husband is excellent at networking in his profession. Which is where linkedin comes in. Which is the reason we live in the state we do, why would he leave the network he has build around him.

Army crawling

On monday my daughter started army crawling. My son was crawling by 5 months and I can tell his sister wants to keep up. She is currently 5 months.
Life is no longer safe. I can't leave her on the bed, she always has to be placed on the floor, or strapped to a chair.
Hopefully I have a little while to figure out how to keep her away from the staircase, while still allowing a three year old to use it. Right now she has never moved from one room to another, thankfully! My son could do that by four months, yes before he could crawl.
I dream about having that baby who just sits contently on a blanket for the whole hour of relief society at 10 months.

Answered

Sometimes I realize how ungrateful and imperfect I am. How many times have I received an answer to a prayer without showing gratitude? How many times is it stupid and trivial, but seems so important, but yet I don't record it? How many times to I get answers to prayers I didn't even think to ask, without any record of acknowledgment on my part? Thankfully I'm not required to be perfect. I just can't give up, I have to keep trying.

Political Movies

here's an old post
Normally I don't blog about movies I've watched, so be forewarned both of these movies swore a lot, but that was about the only thing that made them PG-13.
We watched W the other day, and I really found it fascinating, then again I studied this stuff in school so I had some background to bring to the movie. As I was watching it I wondered how much was make believe for the plot, looked it up, apparently they have sources for the movie, My polsci research professor taught me don't believe anything you read until you look up the sources. I would totally recommend this movie to anyone who watched PG-13 movies. I thought it might be harsh on George W. Bush, or a parody, but I thought the movie was very professional, and try to accurately portray the real people. It reminded me of all the thoughts I had during the pre-Iraq days, when they were threatening, Saddam Hussien. I was on the verge of graduation from High School, so it was obviously a big deal, for all us high school seniors where we were going to war, and could it mean a draft? (Remember I said high school)
Next we watched Swing Vote, I loved this one. I thought it was so good, and it was very funny. I keep replaying the funny lines over in my head and laughing. (Tha'ts just the type of person I am.) Very cute, the political scientist in me loved it. (Maybe I shouldn't classify myself as a political scientist since I have no graduate work in the field. Don't expect me to stop any time soon.)

Botanical Gardens part two

Botanical Gardens

With our community pass, we went to the Botanical Gardens on Saturday. They were nice but if you have ever been to an impressive Arboretum or Botanical Gardens it might leave something to be desired. We brought my brother along, because we know how much he loves to be shoved inbetween two carseats.

Another Mother's Day Post

We took these on the first sunday of the month, right after church to try and get a good mother's day shot, for grandmas. I bribed my son with candy, unfortunately my baby doesn't understand bribes. My son wasn't the best sport ever either.
This is what we sent out. My son told me after the shot, I didn't smile mom, I laughed.
I wanted them them in their nice clothes, that should be ironed, that I don't.
I would have gotten some great shots if I would have taped his hands to his side.
He didn't deserve the candy. But he is scared to death of his sister touching him, so the fact that I got them this close deserves candy for me.
Our camera died and needed some juice in those 5 minutes of charging, N babe, decided it was nap time.
But I didn't give up

The real question should be, why don't I wash my son's face, at least before pictures.
I gave up...

My third mothers day

My son decided to be nice to me and allow his sister to touch him. I wanted a cute picture of them in their polos. Normally he starts crying if she is even in touching distance. He told me the other day he doesn't want her touching him, because she spits up.

Then I wanted a picture of my girl in her ruffle polo dress standing up.

My son followed in the grand tradition of his father, and regifted all sorts of gifts for me. First he gave me the jewelry box that my wedding ring came in. Then I got the pocket reference book. Apparently he shares the same taste has his grampy, since that is what grampy gave my husband for Christmas. Then I got a necklace I made a year or so ago.

Then finally he found my present.

He informed me that it says happy mother's day.

Probably the sweetest part was right after the primary children sang in church (my son is not yet that old) my son decided to show his affection by putting me in a headlock and rubbing my hair. I think he thought he was hugging me. He had also decided to sit on the front middle row so I felt like the whole ward was watching me receive my headlock.


historial note, the my first married birthday, I came home from an evening seminar class, and found about 15 more presents then when I left. My husband had gone around the house finding things we already owned and regave them to me, so I would have lots of presents to open. I got things like one pink shoe. It was very sweet of him.